A Neverending Night of Sorrow
by InsaneGrizzlies
Summary: SEQUEL TO DUSK READ FIRST.With everyone torn apart and unhappy, things are not looking good for the separated Cullens.But some people just won't quit; an age-old dispute is brewing and the only way to live past it may just be the most deadly for everyone.
1. Chapter 1

**Alrighty! Hi to all my old fans from Dusk! If you haven't read that, go away! You can not read this unless you read Dusk first, otherwise, you're going to end up UBER confuzzled. So. After being threatened, bribed, worshiped, and hated, I finally managed to get the first chapter up. It is a bit short, but still. It's something, and that's better than nothing. I'm not sure how soon I'll be able to update, but no worries! I will update before the end of the month. So, enjoy, and please review!**

I leaned against the wall, frowning deeply at… nothing.

Not that such a thing wasn't unusual. At least, for the past couple months it hadn't been. I found myself frowning at nothing any time I was left alone for too long. And I could never explain, to myself and others, why. Just a feeling of something being wrong. Sometimes, if I stayed quiet and thoughtful long enough, I could almost pinpoint what was wrong, like a ghost of a word fluttering around the edges of my mind, on the tip of my tongue, but I couldn't catch a ghost. The more I worked at attempting to catch it, the faster it would sift away, like sand in a sieve or an hourglass.

At first, when this began happening, I was frustrated, angry, oddly desperate to remember. But time passed, slowly and inexplicably painfully, and I settled into the knowledge that I was probably going to continue being like this until I figured out what was bothering me. Either that, or I was stuck this way for eternity, which didn't seem like an enjoyable outlook.

I could hear heart beats enter the hall leading to the feast room, but I made no move to get up and join the rest of the Volturi. Probably it would mean another angry lecture from Aro, but I just wasn't at all eager to go join them. Half the time, he'd say something in anger that made no sense to me, but wasn't that just like Aro? Never quite realizing how insane he sounded.

The door at the far end of the room, which rested in a strip of sunlight, opened, and a faintly glittering form slipped in before closing the door behind herself. Alice looked around the room, spotted me, and came over with incredible grace. She leaned against the wall next to me, and looked up at me, calculation in her gaze.

"Do you always hang out in the shadows, Bella, or is it just a phase?"

I frowned a little and tried the approach of not straining to grasp the ghost in my mind, hoping that it would just abruptly jump out and yell "Here I am!".

"What do you want, Alice?" I asked, reluctantly. She was obsessed with cheering me up, and it usually involved makeovers and shopping. She had serious issues.

She rolled her dark eyes at me. "Bella, what do you think I want? I want to know what the hell these visions I keep having of people are about! But why am I here?" She gave me a look. "You know that. Aro sent me. He demands you come feed or he'll make Demetri and Alec hold you down while Jane gets to force feed you."

I snorted. "Jane won't do that anymore. She likes me too much now." I frowned again. "Don't know what changed her opinion of me so quickly." I added in a mutter.

Alice sighed, and slid down the wall until she was sitting on the floor. She dropped her head on her knees, her arms lying limply on the ground next to her. I slid down until I sat as well, wrapping my arms around my middle instinctively and folding my knees close to my chest.

"I saw that one guy again. In my visions." Alice whispered.

I looked at her. Alice had visions of possible futures, things that happened depending on peoples' decisions. They centered around people close to her, herself, and things that would affect her. Yet for some reason, she also kept having ones of this coven of five, and more specifically from that, the blond single one. It worried and distressed her, because they never seemed to do anything that would affect us way over here in Volterra, yet she had small visions for them almost every day.

"What was it this time?" I asked softly. I attempted to block out the now uneasy murmurs of the humans as they entered the feeding room and Aro greeted them.

"He's leaving his coven. Later tonight, I think. He doesn't want them to know he's going though. He keeps changing his mind about where to go, so I can't tell that much, but he's still unhappy. I haven't figured out why, yet." She frowned. "But I will." she added with determination.

I grinned at her, mentally wincing as the screams started. You'd think, after nearly four years, I'd be past this already, instead of feeling even worse than usual. "Aw, is Alice falling in love with the vision guy?" I teased in a baby-like voice.

She stuck her tongue out at me, somehow managing to look regal while doing it. "Yeah, and look at you. Moping for no reason still?"

I frowned darkly. "There is a reason, I just haven't figured it out yet." I muttered darkly.

A worried look passed through her eyes, and I forced myself to smile easily at her, in hopes of dissipating her worry. Alice had problems of her own to worry about without adding my odd behaviour into the mix. I leaned my head back against the wall, closing my eyes and ignoring the few, faint, dying whimpers from the feeding room. I wished I could sleep. Four years of ever-wakefulness was exhausting, especially when there was no reason to be awake so long. Sleep was an escape I wasn't allowed, a form of release that I was banned from. I wanted to sleep. When one slept, they dreamed, and dreams were mainly one's way of interpreting what was occurring in one's life, to help gain understanding and see solutions hidden from one during times of consciousness. In sleep, there were no limits, boundaries, logic was illogical, and you were more open to possibilities. Maybe, if I could sleep, I would understand why I was so lost, frustrated, depressed all of a sudden.

Sometimes, when I was especially overwhelmed with these irrational emotions, I'd simply lie on the bed in the room I had that I never used, curled on my side, closing my eyes and letting my mind drift as it pleased. It was as close as I could ever get to the peace of sleep. And sometimes, the ghost would come, even closer than usual, and I'd get fleeting sensations. Longing, sadness, an intense sense of missing, and my chest would ache like someone was slowly shredding my un-beating heart to miniscule pieces. Flashes of color - green, lots of green; topaz; gray; bronze. Words - rematch; biology; race; IM. None of it ever made much sense, and it seemed impossible to string it all together.

Alice broke me out of my internal musings. "Bella… I hate it here."

I sighed. "So do I Alice. But there's no way we can leave… Aro won't let us. And I am not ready to risk getting killed because I'm simply unhappy. He'd have to _really _piss me off."

Alice rolled her eyes and stood, mindlessly brushing off the back of her clothes, though the cloak would have kept it from getting any miniscule dust particles on it. I followed her lead and rose as well, if rather reluctantly. I could never seem to find any enthusiasm for things these days. If Aaron were still alive and not killed on our last mission, he would say that I needed a vacation from this joint, then bug Aro constantly until he got to take me to some outrageous place.

Too bad Aro had forbidden me from leaving Volterra.

JPOV

It was painful to be at home these days. No one felt anything close to happiness, no one could move on completely. Rosalie was the most harsh of us all, pushing aside the pain to move on. _So they were gone,_ she'd once said. _We're not so let's live_. Esme felt horrible, having lost three people she loved as her own children. Carlisle became so distracted at work, he 'quit', unwilling to take the risk of making a mistake that could cost someone their life. Mainly, he tried to comfort Esme, or kept to himself in the study. Edward being the first one he changed, there would always be that close relationship between them that no one else would have. Emmett tried to keep up his usually easy-going personality, but he didn't joke around or smile nearly as much.

And I withdrew even more than I ever had in my life. Without Alice, I felt very little reason to live. Sometimes, I almost gave up on this life; I knew no one would stop me if I truly wanted to go. It was difficult to resist the lure of human blood already, and without Alice there to really encourage me, to give me a reason to really give forth an effort….

I was leaving tonight. The rest of the family was going hunting. I, once again, was not going along. They thought I was simply going to continue moping, as Rosalie called it. But I was leaving, I didn't know where to. Maybe I'd look for Charlotte and Peter. Maybe I'd just wander around the world. I wondered if I should get new identification from Jenks or not. I dismissed the idea, not able to find any need to. Maybe I'd go back to the south… it was the only other thing I knew besides this life. And I didn't want this life without Alice.

Still… I couldn't forget the emotions that had, briefly, flickered through Aro when I'd let them out, and had constantly been in the girl with him. They were the slim string of hope I clung to, that maybe, for whatever reason, Aro had lied to us.

EPOV

I crept through the dark alleys of the large city - I hadn't been paying attention as to where exactly - and shifted eagerly as the sweet, mind-fogging scent of blood reached me. I kept my mental ears open for the thoughts of criminals and those up to no good.

A few blocks farther away, I slipped onto a fire escape and quickly climbed up it. Yelling, shouting, harsh words and frantic heartbeats were coming from one of the apartments. I glanced into the window near the fire escape, and growled lowly. A slightly overweight, obviously drunk man was throwing things around, aiming - for the most part poorly - at a woman who I gathered was his wife. She was ducking clumsily, sobbing, then gave a short scream as he came over himself to slam his large meaty fist into her face. I heard the bone fracture, and quickly opened the window, slipping inside the house easily. The woman saw me first, and her eyes widened in the familiar, fearful way as everyone's eventually did. Her husband, drunk as he was, seemed to think it was because of him, and he sneered smugly. I stalked up behind him, barely noticing as the woman's breathing quickened into hyperventilation. Finally, the man turned around as he realized she was looking past him. He gaped in dumbfounded shock, then glared in anger at me.

"Who are you? Get outta my house!" he slurred demandingly.

I smirked at him, and took another step closer.

"I'm warnin' you," he slurred, getting worried and fearful now.

My lips pulled back from my teeth in the semblance of a grotesque grin. I hadn't yet given myself over completely to my instincts; there was no reason to risk hurting the woman - her life had been bad enough already without having to die so painfully.

"I'd run, if I were you," I told her, slowly moving my eyes temporarily to her. She paled some more, then scrambled backwards until she was on her feet; she scrambled around the man and I, and raced out the door, tripping a few times. I smirked at the man as his heart went into dangerously quick beats, as his breathing shallowed and quickened, and he began to perspire in fear.

I grinned in feral delight and took another step forward.

His life ended tonight.

**So. We get a bit of a peek at what's been going on for the past five months in the world of Dusk and Sorrow. Hope it was at least somewhat up to expectations. It'll get better as we go along... review please! **

**Laughs and hugs all!**


	2. Chapter 2: Down South

**Okay, okay! Here it is, people! I did not quit this story; I try to never quit a story if I can help it. I'm so sorry it took so long, school was crazy, and Ignorance was on a serious roll for a while there. I don't know how well this chapter will be accepted... it's entirely in Jasper's POV, and I'm not too sure how I did at it. So, please let me know; we got like 50 reviews for the first chapter ALONE, which is so effin crazy-cool that I can't describe it! I loves you all! Enjoy!**

I finally slowed down as I neared LA and the sun began to rise, a faint pink-peach touching the sky. The last time I'd been down here had been with my Alice, shopping with her for hours once the sun went down. Yes, she had shopping addiction issues, but it only made me love her more; everything about her made me love her more... Or had, until she was... I couldn't finish the thought, not when it concerned Alice. Anyone else, I'd probably be able to. From the time I'd been a newborn, and even before then, I'd experienced death, war, and loss for a long time. It had shaped me differently from any of my other family members, made me stand out. It was only with Alice that I felt like I truly fit in, like I'd found my true niche in this world I was damned to live in eternally. And it was a damnation, as long as Alice wasn't by my side. Without her, there was not a reason for anything.

But still... I held out hope. Usually the realist of our family, now I was the optimist. Perhaps it _was _truly a futile hope, perhaps it was only desperation messing with my mind, but I couldn't help but believe that if Alice were gone, I'd know it. I'd feel it, deep down, because I was always so connected to her, even from long distances. Or maybe Alice's own optimistic thoughts were rubbing off on me. Jeez, if Emmett could hear me, he'd say I sounded like a girl.

Of course, my thoughts were my own now, with Edward gone. I wondered if he really was dead. It was an odd thought... Edward's brooding presence had been around since before Alice and I had randomly showed up in the Cullens' lives, always knowing what we were thinking, always having his over-thought opinion. Until he'd found Bella, he'd been the loneliest of us, and never known it. Again, over-thinking.

I'd never, even being able to sense his emotions, been able to truly empathize with him. Until now. Without Alice, I felt empty, devoid, lost even when I knew where I physically was. I knew I was whole in the sense of the word appearance wise, but inwardly... inwardly, I felt like a large and important piece was missing from me. I could truly say I felt what Edward had felt, until he met and - though for only a short time - dated Bella.

Bella. The snappy, confident, yet always somewhat lost and confused Volturi hitman that knew what she was doing and was good at it. I knew she'd probably been to the South, and was sure I'd be able to learn more about her than she'd ever said to us by asking about her. Actually, I could probably learn a lot about the Volturi guard these days by asking around the south. So that was where I'd decided to head. Back South.

Back to my nightmares.

I doubted anyone I had known that had fought down there was still alive. Nettie and Lucy were dead long before I left, thanks mainly to myself, and Maria... who knew about her. I hoped I didn't run into her, because she was probably the one person who had truly frightened me, and still did. She was ruthless and power-hungry in a way that neared a single-mindedness only topped by her desire for survival.

A short ways out of LA, I decided I should stop to hunt. I made a detour, costing myself time, but wanted to be able to still resist my old life, for now at least. Until I gave up all hopes on Alice still living, I wasn't going to risk disappointing her. The hunt was a brief affair, nothing remarkable or memorable, and I only did it because it was necessary. An obligation.

For the first time in a long while, I was all alone in my planning. I didn't have to include anyone else, worry; it was all up to me. After my hunt, I sat in the car for a long while, pondering where to go first. There were many cities in the South that had been the central focus of the armies, and I wasn't sure if I wanted to go straight to one of these or wait to make my prescience known. Because of the long time Maria and I had been able to work together, and how unconquerable we had been, there had been a bit of a reputation attached to me. I wasn't sure if it was still spoken of, and I didn't want to chance it. I simply wanted to figure out where to go from here.

The first place I went to was a small town close to where I'd grown up in Texas. The sun was out of course, and nothing would be open late at night when I could go out in public, but I stopped there none the less. My car drew attention, with it's sleek refinery and dark tinted windows. By the end of the day, it'd probably be the talk of the town. Which was what I wanted. Once talk started spreading here, it would likely reach some vampire's ears. And that would lead to them coming to find me. The best way to find the southern vampires was to not look for them.

I parked out of the small town on the side of a rarely used road; I could tell it was rarely used because of the rugged, uneven ruts in the road that I had to bump uncomfortably over for a short time. If anyone came by and saw my car, I would have to quickly come up with some believable story, but that really shouldn't be too hard. With my talent in emotions, I could make them feel like I was completely trustworthy.

By the time night fell, I felt restless. It wasn't likely that they knew I was here yet, but I had nothing to do besides sit here and wait. If I went out looking for them, it would be perceived as a threat, and having been one of them I knew for a fact that the Southern vampires killed first and rarely questioned even later. It was literally survival of the fittest, fastest, strongest down here. My life had changed drastically after I found Alice... or really, after she found me. It was going to take a lot of adjustment to get back in the proper mindset for the world that I was now returning to after over 120 years.

I pulled out my cell phone, flipping it open and sighing as I stared at the picture of Alice and I on the screen. Alice had programmed it onto my phone months ago, as one of the seemingly pointless sweet things she did. My finger hovered over the dial button, then pressed down and I lifted the phone to my ear, though I could hear it fine from across the car if I wanted to. But I wanted to be closer to that faint, imperfect lingering recording of her voice.

It started out flustered, yet still perky in regular Alice fashion. "Hey, Jaz, it's me. I was shopping when I had two visions. One, the first, had the Volturi and they were talking about how they were going to get Bella to come back with them, and might end up killing Edward and all of us! I'm going up there to help, cause I saw that if I did, we'd all end up together again happy. They were strong visions, so I'm hoping I'm doing the right thing. But I can't just leave Bella and Edward up there all alone! Oh, and there is someplace near Winfield, British Columbia, I don't know exactly. A cabin, but that's not much help. Still. My phone will be on, call me when you get this! I love you." There was a brief, silent pause, then her voice, shaking with unease and confusion yet as always full of complete sincerity and love, repeated, "I love you, Jasper."

Sorrow washed over me again, a sweet, almost addicting pain. Yes, it hurt listening to her voice again knowing there was a high chance she was dead. Yes, hearing her say I love you for the last time not in person, but through a voice mail recording, where the slight and unique nuances that were all hers were faded or missing was torture. But it was the sweetest kind of torture, something I knew I would never stop doing despite the pain it caused, because it was the last I had of my Alice.

From the last words to leave her mouth directed towards me, I couldn't help but wonder if she knew, or at least had an inkling, that she wasn't going to be coming back. The pain in me rippled, reminding me again that it was possible I'd just been sensing uneasiness at delivering bad news to emotionally unstable vampires instead of uneasiness at being caught lying. I wasn't able to sense the truth, though I believed Carlisle had mentioned a friend of his who could. Sighing, I settled back in my seat again, pressing the button that would let me listen to Alice's last words to me again.

_...A FEW DAYS LATER..._

I could hear them coming about half a minute before they broke their cover at the treeline. Casually, calmly, I opened the door to my car and stepped out, closing it behind me. The faint shutting noise of it echoed in the dead silence, filled slightly with tension.

Finally one of them, a slim girl with dark black hair and thin red eyes, stepped forward, peering at me suspiciously. "Who are you and why are you here?"

I leaned back against the car, slowly and subtly working the emotions of the vampires around me so they relaxed and lost their suspicion of me. "Jasper." I stated. They didn't need to know my business, and my name was only given because it was necessary. I was no longer a Cullen, not down here, but I was no longer a Whitlock, either. I was simply Jasper.

A cacophony of whispers went up at my simple statement. The girl's eyes widened, making them look closer to the size of a normal person's, and she took a slight step back, flickers of fear touching her emotional state. "J-Jasper Whitlock?"

Slowly, I nodded. I wasn't sure how that would go over, and it was best to be on guard until I understood the true nature of my reception.

Another vampire - this one looking in his young teens, hair shaggy and dark in color, stepped forward, his emotions almost worshipful. "You're _the_ Jasper Whitlock? The Jasper who helped Maria gain almost complete control of her area? The Jasper who made her almost completely unconquerable?"

"I wouldn't say completely..." I muttered, rolling my eyes.

The whispers started up again. The girl, emotions abruptly annoyed, snapped loudly (for a vampire), "Shut up! All of you!" Turning back to face forward, she muttered under her breath, "Stupid newborns."

I looked over all the vampires behind her; there were at least fifteen. "They're all newborns?" I asked in a quiet whisper.

She nodded. "Jackie asked me to take them out for her. I think she's going to try to manipulate Hector, again, or something. She does this about once a month."

I nodded. "Where are they? I wish to speak to the vampires in charge of this territory, so I don't get murdered."

She looked me up and down suspiciously; I sent more waves of trust and calm her way and watched as they took effect.

"Jason!" she barked. The newborn who had stepped forward before came up again, looking somewhat uneasy. "Deliver Jasper Whitlock to Jackie and Hector, then return to us if they'll let you."

He nodded, then waited with me as the newborns and girl disappeared into the night again. They were probably heading to training. I pushed off of my car, then opened the door. "Get in." I told him. "You can direct me on the roads from here?"

He frowned as he walked to the passenger side, obviously thinking. "Um, for the most part, yes. You can't take it the whole way though... we'll have to run for a few miles."

I nodded, keeping that in mind in case I had to make a quick escape, and started the car. It wasn't too long a drive, which I was thankful for. The newborn Jason was fidgeting, obviously edgy like most newborns were, and if he became any more uncomfortable, I wasn't sure he wouldn't loose sense and attack me. When the road we were on ended, I turned off the car and got out; locking it, I watched from the corner of my eyes as he shifted uncomfortably again, his hands twitching. He had to be _very_ new. We ran through the trees for not even a full three minutes, and broke through the cover into a wide open area. It was an old plantation house, hidden away in the woods miles away from civilization. I doubted anything human had lived in it for decades, if not closer to over a century.

Two vampires were already waiting for us on the wide, grandeur front porch, a woman and a man. The woman, I assumed was Jackie, had delicate features, shimmering red-orange curls for hair, and reminded me of a hummingbird. The man was practically an opposite. His hair was gray and faded away in some places - a rare sight on a vampire - and his face was wrinkled; he was rather short as well, only about half a head above the girl's five-three. They both watched him intently, but the girl's was completely interested, curious and open, while the guy's was suspicious and dark.

"Who is this?" he barked.

The girl laughed lightly, a whisper of wind through the tall grasses, then spoke with a light English accent. "Hector, lighten up. I'm sure Jason has a good reason for bringing him here." She turned curious eyes to the newborn. "Jason?"

"H-he's Jasper Whitlock. Micky had me bring him to you two."

The girl's eyes widened in delight. "Ooh! See, Hector? A wonderful stroke of luck, just like we needed. _The_ Jasper Whitlock! Imagine!"

Hector grunted, but his emotions remained suspicious and spiteful. "Jackie, Jasper Whitlock disappeared off the face of the earth. How do we know this is really him?"

With a huff of annoyance, Jackie leapt down off of the porch and strolled up to me, walking around me and examining me from all angles. I inwardly rolled my eyes at the interest she was feeling towards me that went beyond a world-conquering level and more towards a physical one. Then she reached towards me quickly. My reflexes, drilled in beyond the point of instinctive, kicked in and I smoothly snatched her wrist in my hand firmly, casting her a warning glare.

She giggled. "Let go, Jasper Whitlock. I have to see if you are you. Just a little touch, no worries."

I gave her a cautious look. "Why would a 'little touch' tell you if I'm me?"

Hector barked from his position on the porch, arms folded and legs braced, "Her power. Jackie can tell if someone is who they say they are... as in, if you're lying about your identity, I'll know."

She grinned, slightly evilly. "No worries if you're not lying."

With a reluctant sigh, I let her wrist go, and she lifted her hand to my temple. Her eyes fluttered closed briefly, and a heat spread out from her hand for a short instance before retreating as her eyes opened. She smiled, lifting her hand away, then called casually back to Hector. "All clear, Boss. He's who he says."

Hector nodded stiffly, then retreated inside. Jackie watched as he closed the door, then sighed, turning back to me and rolling her eyes.

"God, thank you, he's finally gone," she muttered, just low enough that it wouldn't carry to the house. She looked me over again, more assessing than before, and placed her hands on her hips. "Alright, Mr. Whitlock, let's get this straight, yes? Hector may think he's in charge, but he's not. We all let him think he is because he has his uses, but it actuality everyone answers to me." She shifted her gaze, newly sharpened, to Jason. "Right, Jason?"

Jason nodded quickly. Jackie smirked lightly, nodded, then said dismissively, "Return to Micky. And tell her to stop sending newborns to do her jobs."

With a quick nod, the kid turned and raced away. Jackie turned back to Jasper. "I'm sure there's a story to you, Mr. Whitlock, and I'm admittedly eager to hear it. Why disappear from this only to return over twelve decades later? What would you need down here that isn't available to you anywhere else? It's a conundrum, that's for sure. So. Why don't we go for a light run and you tell me what has possessed you to make this sudden and unexpected return to the exciting, charming world of the South?"

**W00t! I think I really like this Jackie girl... hmm. ponders Oh! Thank my good friend Mai for keeping up the wonderful cheering squad for me to make an awesome continuation for Dusk! Review!!**

* * *

_**HORRIBLE NEWS!! Midnight Sun has been put indefintely on hold because SOMEONE Steph trusted let it leak onto the internet!! This is a tragedy I thought everyone should be aware of; she has decided to put the partial draft on the Midnight Sun Page, but it is no longer being written because she isn't in the right mind set. Just to warn everyone... (Goes off to mourn the fact that she'll have to wait even LONGER for MS to come out)  
**_


	3. Chapter 3: California Dreamin'

**Haha... as I write this, I'm in my TA class, on the teacher's laptop, but she's totally cool with me doing whatever on it. So I'm giving whatever I can do for you in about thirty minutes and putting it up. ;) I know, you all love me very much. And it's Friday, which puts me in an awesome mood. D  
**

**Oh, and this is Edward POV. **

I paced the small hotel room we - Victoria and I - were lodging in until we had to leave the small town in California we had been staying the night. San Francisco now had a few unexplained disappearances, and we were all the way north of Sacramento now. I doubted this little town would get worked up either, though. For such a small place, it was quite full of crime. The thoughts of the people were unusual for humans; at least, they were in the fact that there were a bunch of high school kids on a college campus and oddly enough thinking of pretzels and chocolate pens from Spencers, and Bones. A lot of the rest of the population knew how to hot wire cars, where to find drugs... this had to be one of the highest crime-rated cities of its size I'd seen in a while.

Victoria came in, smirking like usual when she saw me. She found me amusing, and was always thinking of how she had won in the end, though over what I could never find. She was pretty good at hiding her thoughts on that subject from me.

"Aw Eddie. Pacing again, I see."

I frowned at her. Again, that odd tenor of amusement. Even after five months of being in her company, I had yet to discover the reason for it, or simply accept it. It was just that there was something oddly cruel to it...

She sighed and dropped lightly into the sagged, dusty armchair in the room. "California is boring; we're not even getting attention for anything, like our beauty. Let's go back east, Eddie." she whined.

I gave her a pointed look. "No attention is a good thing."

She groaned. "_Eddie_..."

"You go." I absently told her. "I like the west coast better." And I did, though for no obvious reason. We'd started down near LA, and the farther north we went, the more grexing Victoria became, yet the more relaxed I felt. I wanted to go as north as I could before I was dragged back into the disquiet that was my normal life.

Something in Victoria's thoughts shifted, panicking, just briefly, but before I could look deeper into it, she was thinking of places that might appeal to me enough so that she could pretty much drag me away from the northwest coast.

I sighed, then stiffened as her thoughts turned to a hunt, remembering her thirst, heightening my own. "Victoria..." I warned on a growl. She ignored me, her thoughts continuing to the sweet-scented meal she'd been robbed of in New Orleans, back before we'd met. She and her mate - whom I knew was deceased - had cornered the meal in a park, were preparing to pounce...

_"I'm warning you now; stop."_ The mental voice she remembered was clear, soft, melodic and soothing; at the same time, I could hear the authority behind it, the self-assurance in her - it was obviously a woman who had spoken - power and abilities. Victoria's memory shifted as she turned to glare at the person -

She snapped herself out of it, thinking_, 'Oops...' _Then she turned smug and triumphant. _Mate for a mate. I warned her..._

I sighed, tuning out of her thougths. She thought that phrase - mate for a mate - quite often, along with some others, and I'd learned to ignore them. They had no sense, and when I'd asked, she'd never explained herself. It was one of the things I'd learned to accept about Victoria.

"Eddie, please? I want to return to New Orleans... it's so much easier to hunt there. And New York, we could last probably _two weeks_ in New York City. We could catch a plane... head somewhere like Africa. I mean, think about it. Africa is a remote place; someone disappearing will be ignored for a few days, then blamed on a lion or something. Eddie, I want to go. And you're coming with me, because we have to avoid detection by the Volturi."

I nodded, though I had the strangest sensation when she mentioned the vampire world's royal ruling family. Anger, yes, but also I felt something akin to longing. I caught myself thinking, '_Would it be so bad if they found me?'_. I gave my head a quick shake to dislodge such illogical and queer thoughts. No one would ever willingly catch the Volturi's attention, unless they wanted to die. And I didn't... did I? No, no... Maybe Victoria was right; maybe a change of scenery would be good for me.

"Fine." I agreed abruptly. She looked at me, confused and shocked. Her thoughts told me she had been expecting a longer fight, and argument, something to convince me that it would be safer. I didn't answer the half-formed question slightly directed towards me, but mainly herself. I wasn't in the mood to tell her why.

Because I was fighting the urge to go to Volterra and ask for an end to this life.

**Yeah, I know, super short, right? But I really only had like half an hour to write this, and the class is loud while they do "work". This is randomly dedicated to three freshies: Ryan Davis, aka: Pidgeon S&t... but I just call him Pidgeon; Tony Vu, who has yet to get a nickname; and Jay Xiong, aka "Froggie/ Kermit. These freshies this year are an interesting bunch, that's for sure... well, review!**


	4. Chapter 4: Volterra Business

**Sorry this took so long! I'm working on getting a beta, but she hasn't gotten back to me so I could send this to her yet. But probably by the next one I'll be having this beta'd, simply because I want to give you good work and am pressed for time enough without reading it over more than once. Hope you enjoy! Starts in Bella's POV, then switches to Alice.**

"Come on, June! Faster!" I snapped, frustrated, as I again dodged her attack easily.

She slid past me, spinning around before she stopped moving, and snarled, her pretty face twisting in her own frustration and anger. Inwardly, I was pleased. If she was angry and frustrated, she'd fight more aggressively.

She launched at me again, faster than before, but still too slow. I growled in annoyance and leapt on top of her myself, placing my hands where they would need to be to kill her. "Dead." I announced, rising smoothly up off of her. "Is that what you want to be, June? Dead? I told you - faster! Do you think that those corrupt vampires we take care of will wait for you to get angry enough to put up a good fight, or let you get by with these little mistakes? If you went out in a real fight, I'd say you'd last about five minutes, tops."

She picked herself up off the ground, glaring to the side of me. June never could manage to look me in the eyes; she could only meet Alice's for brief moments, and she always acted uncomfortable around the rest of the Guard, but for me, she didn't even meet my direct gaze. I'd asked her about it, and she'd stammered out some ridiculous excuse. And I thought _I _used to be bad at lying.

I sighed and shook my head. "Marcus is waiting for you in the feeding room. I suggest you hurry to meet him."

She nodded shortly and then walked stiffly out of the training room. I sighed and leaned back against the wall behind me, folding my arms across my chest.

"She's not ready to go out."

"Perhaps. But the only way we have to tell is your opinion and by sending her out. It's been five months, Isabella. She can't just stay here doing nothing."

I forced my expression into a schooled one of absolutely nothing. Like Marcus's face. Blank, bored, mindless... pick your favorite. They all added up to about the same thing.

"If you send her out, she will either be killed or get someone else killed. Her fighting skills are next to nothing, even some idiot could take her out. She makes rudimentary mistakes that are important and costly."

Aro stepped forward from the dark hallway. "Then the best way to teach her to not make them, is to give her an example to live by."

My expression tightened, just slightly. "Do you want her killed, Aro? Because sending her out will kill her. Or, perhaps who you send her with is the one you want killed?" I kept my face away from his, my voice not even slightly accusatory, more flat than anything.

His voice was slightly tight when he answered a few moments of silence later. "Isabella, it is not like you to imply that I want the death of one of our members. Alec is going with her, and we both know he is unstoppable."

I gave an almost imperceptible lift of my head. Alec was unstoppable; paired with Jane and our little family-feeling-inducing member - I could never remember her name, because I never really saw her; it was something with a C… Cecilia… no, Chelsea, right? - we were kept undefeated. Of course, none of their powers worked on me, which annoyed the heck out of everyone.

Aro's look turned sly. "I'd send you with her, Isabella, but since you wouldn't be any help, what with not being able to stretch your shield beyond yourself…" He shrugged.

I finally turned to glare at him; it was something I'd never been able to do, and it frustrated Aro that I couldn't. If I could, we would be beyond unstoppable - if there even was such a thing. Of course, the fact that it upset Aro kept me from ever really putting forward _too _much effort.

I opened my mouth to retort when Caius stepped into the room. I snapped it shut immediately, tensing; Caius was rash, frightening, and the perfect partner in crime for Aro. I swear, I had no idea how Marcus managed to deal with them… not that he cared much about anything.

"We have visitors, Aro. Shall we find Marcus and go meet them?"

Aro seemed to visibly perk up at the thought. "Yes. Come, he's with June in the feeding room."

I rolled my eyes and slipped down the hall away from them. I felt barely any curiosity at who the visitors were; probably someone coming to pay their regards to Aro so that he didn't change his opinion of them when he got bored. He had done that once, and taken out a small coven in New Hampshire. Anything to keep away the boredom. And Aro was scary when he was bored, let's just say that.

I watched my feet as I walked, not looking around at my surroundings. But that didn't mean I was unaware of them.

"Alice, Jane." I acknowledged without glancing up. "What do you want?"

"Aro gave all three of us the day off." Jane stated.

I closed my eyes, stopping, and sent up a quick prayer that it wasn't going to mean what I thought it would.

"_SHOPPING!!"_ Alice screamed. And for a vampire, that can be pretty loud. I winced in pain and fear, then whipped around and ran down the hall.

"Bella, get your ass back here before I hunt it down and force it into a pair of brand-name jeans!" Alice called after me.

Jane laughed; I could hear the echoes of it behind me, rising slightly above the sounds of their pursuit.

I snorted, and called back to her, "Yeah, like you wouldn't be doing that anyways?"

There was a brief pause before she sourly shouted her answer. "Shut up, Bells. No one likes you!"

"That's because they all love me!" I laughed.

Now Jane snorted her reply. "Delusional, much?"

"I believe it was your dare to kiss me," I muttered just loud enough for them to hear. Alice giggled, and Jane scoffed.

"You know you loved it."

My turn to scoff. We'd gone about halfway around the castle now, with barely any looks in our direction. This wasn't too uncommon an occurrence when our release dates, as I referred to them, were announced. I should enjoy them more, since they were now the only time I was allowed out of Volterra - punishment for messing up the assignment in Washington, which lead to the one that got Aaron killed - and even then I wasn't allowed out of Italy. It sucked being limited… I wanted to go somewhere exotic. Alice had suggested Africa, of all places. It'd sounded nice, honestly; wide open spaces without people for miles, where I could pretend I was still human and soak up the warming rays of the sun, easy hunting, yet I could go probably weeks without since few people were around, _and _it was away from Aro, the best appeal of all.

I skirted to a stop as I spotted Jane ahead of me, and frowned angrily. She must have used the stupid secret passage from her room….

Alice tackled me from behind, wrapping her thin, willowy frame around me like cling-wrap.

"I surrender." I sighed resignedly.

Alice smirked. "I knew you would. It was just so fun to play this game again, I decided to let you think I hadn't seen this coming."

With a roll of my eyes and a sigh, I turned towards the closest exit. "Since Jane's the only one with a car, I guess she's driving." I grumbled, feeling very resentful of the fact.

Alice sighed. "Well, Bells, if you hadn't gone and tried to race Demetri and Alec - who also isn't supposed to be driving without a responsible guard in the car-" she mimicked, sounding exactly and uncannily like Aro; it was pretty freaky. "You wouldn't be in this situation. You'd still have your Brabus and Maserati." she finished simply.

I made a disgusted noise, disliking that fact. So I'd gone racing again. I'd needed something to distract me from the consistency and unexplained sorrow I'd been feeling, and racing had always worked in the past. Except…

"If stupid Alec hadn't gotten in a three-car pile-up and had to speak to the police, explaining why he had not a single scratch on him and didn't need to go to the hospital, then Aro wouldn't have cared."

Jane snorted at my muttering. "Whatever, Bella."

Alice sighed, air tickling my ear. I shifted her so it wouldn't happen again. "But Jane's car is too slow." she whined.

"I second that." I quickly added, earning a glare from Jane.

"Then jack one, Bells," she snapped, obviously not serious.

Alice and I grinned at each other. "Cool!"

Jane groaned and dropped her head back. "What did I do to deserve you two?"

_APOV_

Yes! Shopping, and Bella had come along without too big a fight this time. I felt my muscles relax from their usual tense positions as soon as we entered the bright, fluorescently lit, gigantic building. Ah, how I longed to go to Paris, the city of fashion and love. But since Aro wasn't very lenient about the length of our days off - "release dates", according to Bells - and Bella wasn't allowed out of Italy even on release dates, that wasn't possible. I wasn't close to any of the Volturi except Bella, and Bella seemed different from the rest. Lost, sad… tortured. Somewhat like I felt inside most of the time.

We'd talked about that before, during one of the slow days when the rest of the Guard was gathered together in the feeding room. She was of the opinion that we were not very different from the rest. Bella said all the Volturi - or at least a majority of them - felt similarly to what we felt, but were ignorant and brainwashed out of realizing it. According to her, we were the lucky ones who had insight enough to ignore or cancel out what Aro and Chelsea wanted us to feel. I believed that while that may be true, there was something _more_ about ours. Bella had simply shrugged and left me. She didn't like talking about the sorrow and confusion that plagued her; it bothered her deeply, and she hated being reminded of it.

But in the mall, I felt almost refreshed, clean, normal. (Well, as normal as a vampire with psychic powers can get). I skipped happily down the huge walkways between the multitudes of stores, dragging Bella with me. Jane followed along behind us, like a dark shadow. I swear, if she had any more personality to her and wasn't so drone like, she'd be a Goth or emo or something. I snickered at the mental image, wishing I had someone to share it with. Bella gave me a curious look; I sent her one that meant I'd tell her when we were alone. We'd used this look countless times, and others we had invented, so that we could communicate without any of the other Guards' or of the terribly boring trio's knowledge.

I had decided early on in this trip to torture Bella, just a little. I yanked her straight into the best lingerie store they had here, which made her groan.

"Alice…" she whined.

Jane snickered, and Bella shot her a withering glare. "If I'm going down, I'm taking you with me." She grinned evilly, and Jane gulped. It was rare moments like these that I could see how Bella had quickly progressed in the Guard, see the woman that was whispered of among the older members to the newer ones. Chelsea, Demetri, and Patrick had tried to scare me and June into believing that Bella would rip us to shreds if we offended her. I hadn't really believed them - Bella stuck me as too nice and forgiving to be upset so easily - but June had paled (how a vampire did that, I don't know; I hadn't realized it was possible) and never looked directly at Bella.

Then again, she avoided my gaze for long periods of time too. She was odd like that, but essentially a sweet girl.

From the corner of my eye, I saw Bella lift something up with a finger, then smirk and quickly stretch it out before letting it fly across the room and into my face. It fell down into my hands and I glanced down at it. It was a silky black and white lace garter with a little fake diamond pendant in the center. Bella quickly flung a red and black one into Jane's face; Jane pulled it away and grimaced in distaste.

"Do I want to know what this is used for?"

"Weddings, romps in bed, fun," Bella listed casually, shrugging. I knew she wouldn't normally be as casual as this unless she was super relaxed, and that she was only doing it to further annoy Jane. I think Bella took too much fun out of annoying the Volturi.

Even I couldn't help but laugh, though, at the look on Jane's face - a cross between interest, disgust, and uncertainty - as she gingerly set it down on top of a thong display.

I pulled a bunch of interesting looking items of "clothing" off the racks and displays, some of which I had seen in visions and some that caught my eye at the current moment. Not all of them were for me, of course, quite a few were for Bella, and a few even for Jane. I made sure to keep a hold of myself and not grab something too outrageous for Bells; last time I had, she'd thrown them all - even the not intense ones - into a _fire_ and smirked as I watched them _burn into black ashes_. I wouldn't make the same mistake twice, that was for sure. Especially concerning clothes.

We neared the dressing rooms, and I handed Bella her pile, then the considerably smaller one for Jane, and took a room with my own (sizably larger) selection.

"Don't forget to take pictures of yourself so I can see what you look like!" I trilled happily.

Bella sighed, but in a good-natured kind of way. Despite her shopping-aversion, she enjoyed getting out and having fun. Volterra, however depressing and stifling for me, was a thousand times worse for Bells. Jane grumbled incoherently under her breath, but I ignored her, knowing she'd listen. Or else.

I ended up with about two thirds of the original pile for keeps, and frowned when I saw Jane holding absolutely nothing. Bella came out a few moments later, eyeing me suspiciously.

"Answer me this one question honestly, Alice, and then I'll decide what to buy." Her tone was dead serious, another one of the ways I could see the Guard everyone spoke highly of. It meant no funny business, demanded respect, didn't leave room for argument or bargaining. "Why do you want us to buy this stuff?"

I blinked, then shrugged. "For fun, mainly. I mean, it's not like I'm trying to set you up with anyone, I just want to have some girly type fun for once."

Bella smiled after a moment, and it lit up her whole face, showing me a glimpse of the radiant, joyful, and easy-going person she hid from the world. "Then I'll get all of it but this. It actually made me look like a box." she made a face as she said this, causing me to laugh. Jane just looked at her like she was insane.

"You've been in Volterra too long if you're liking these kinds of clothes and buying most of them." She shook her head sadly.

I rolled my eyes, but happily led the way to the register. The girl behind the counter stared in shock, her bubble of gum popping, unnoticed by her. I giggled quietly enough so that only Bella and Jane could hear, and offered her a happy grin. She numbly rang it all up and took the gold card I handed her. Bella received much the same treatment, though I think the girl was a little less shocked. We exited the store, loaded with shopping bags, and wandered the rest of the mall. Bella bought a light wool, mid-thigh length sweater-jacket in a nice even brown that complimented her wavy, long hair.

I bought a variety of things, in my typical fashion, which made Bella roll her eyes playfully. Jane bought a shirt. In black. See what I mean about Goth or emo?

When we got back, Aro immediately yanked Bella away. The minute he appeared, the bright look on her face went out as if a fierce wind had blown out the flame of a candle. I grumbled about that, and Jane shook her head semi-remorsefully. Aro could depress Bella like nothing else in this world… that I knew of, at least.

I was putting away my new clothes, and Bella's, since we shared a room, when I was sucked into a vision. It was another of the odd ones.

_Bella fell into a defensive crouch, a feral snarl ripping from her lips. She looked truly terrifying, yet the person she faced didn't seem too frightened. Instead, he dropped into his own crouch before a fuzzy form behind him, growling dangerously. Fury, pain, and hurt flashed through her eyes, but she didn't move or change her position. _

_"This isn't you," she told him firmly. "Fight it dammit!" _

_The fuzzy form entered the vision, gaining clarity, smirking. "Don't listen to her. She's the one I've told you about. She tricks you into thinking and believing a lie, then forces you to do things - like kill people - you'd never do before. She killed James… kill her!"_

_"No!" Bella snarled, eyes locked on the guy, but words directed towards the red-head. "I'm not the liar, you are! Let him go, bitch. I told you… he's not yours." Her eyes flicked away from him to the other woman.  
_

_"He's no longer yours either. He chose me, remember?"_

_"He had that choice taken from him." She turned her eyes to the boy again. "Listen to my voice. You have to remember… I know you do. You have to find something about this odd. Please, remember everything, something. Remember me." Bella pleaded._

_The boy paused slightly, but the red-head girl snarled and leapt on her. Bella fought her off, the strongest fury I'd ever seen lighting her eyes, and moved in for the kill._

_The boy smashed into her side, snarling, taking her down… _

The vision was in no way very clear, or strong. It had an equal chance of happening as much as it did of _not_ happening. I paused in my work, thinking the vision over. Bella had been talking about remembering? Remembering what? She'd obviously known the guy in the vision, and if I'd read her correctly, was quite… _attached _to him. And the woman was talking about choosing… huh. But Bella said he had his choice taken away, so he didn't chose her. I frowned, thinking about who could obviously hate Bella so much.

My musings were interrupted when Bella banged into the room, eyes dangerously, angrily black.

"Damn him! Aro just told me I have to leave right away to the South… but I have to take June. If she survives the stupid mission he's sending her out on this week! _And_ I have to take Alec, Demetri, and fesso Chelsea. I _hate_ Chelsea!" She growled as she continued pacing. I watched her curiously.

"What about me?" Then I froze and frowned in confusion. "What's fesso? Did you just swear in a dead language?"

She snorted, then answered distractedly. "No. It's Italian slang, and I picked it up from living around here so long… something along the lines of silly, stupid, idiotic…." she trailed off, frowning and obviously thinking about Aro.

"What about me?" I repeated.

She started, looking up at me in surprise. "What about you?"

"Am I going?" I clarified.

"No." She frowned dangerously. "On my say-so. The South is bad in general, and if Aro is letting my probation off temporarily to go to the South, it has to be like apocalyptically bad." She shook her head. "You're staying."

I planted my hands on my tiny hips, furious. "Isabella Marie Swan, I am going on that mission. I am an asset, and we both know I can take care of myself. There's nothing you can do to stop me, either. I'll just look to see where you're going, then go there myself. Just watch me." I added on a snarl.

She looked for a moment angry and like she was going to argue, then deflated. "I'm sorry Alice but… please. I need you to stay here. I'll be worrying enough about June getting herself killed. Please stay here so I don't have to worry about a SNV getting you as well." She pleaded, dropping her head slightly and pinching the bridge of her nose between her thumb and forefinger.

"S...N...V?"

"Southern Newborn Vampire," she muttered, throwing things higgledy-piggeldy into a knapsack. She had no care for her clothes. "I'll see you in three weeks. June will show up here in less than a week; until she gets inside this castle, I want you to watch her as closely as possible to make sure she doesn't die. Or get someone else killed. Or do something stupid." she added, rolling her eyes before turning to fully face me. "Please? I feel somewhat responsible for her welfare, seeing as I'm her training coach." Bella nibbled nervously on her lower lip, a small frown between her brows.

"Fine," I pouted.

"Good. I'll see you in three weeks." Then she blurred out of the room, bag over her shoulder.

I pouted, but started watching intently into June's future.

Of course, I also got into my own workings… such as convincing Aro that I should go with June to the mission.

Good thing Aro was such a pushover.

**Thanks for reading... review please!**


	5. Chapter 5: Scents and Thoughts

**Here is the next chapter of Sorrow. The characters and plot are giving me some trouble, so I apologize if it shows. But there is always something to gain from my chapters - I swear - and here it is mainly a greater understanding of the characters and how they are coping. Please don't forget to thank An.Aria.of.Moonlight for betaing the story and getting it back to me so soon! I swear I only sent it to her like a little over an hour ago! **

**Enjoy lovelies!**

BPOV

Just because I wasn't human, didn't mean I couldn't feel the sticky air around me and know it was humid. I crossed my arms and leaned against the tree as I waited for Alec and June to arrive. Demetri was sitting in the car - the wonderful Brabus I'd been given back for this mission - clearly bored, while Chelsea was pacing to the side of me.

"What do we have to wait here for them for? They can find the hotel easily enough," she told me again for the thousandth time.

I didn't look away from the point on the road I was watching. "I'm in charge, remember? Keep questioning me, and I'll send you back to Volterra."

"You wouldn't dare," she smirked. "Aro is already pissed enough at you for screwing up and getting Aaron killed back in your last mission, and I'm here to make sure you don't get your loyalties confused again."

I snarled. "My loyalties have always been to the Volturi."

"Except last mission."

Demetri had stepped out of the car. "Chelsea, stop that. Bella is loyal to us, we don't have to worry about that. The reason you're here is to draw apart the army we're fighting against. Not to keep Bella with us. There's no reason for her to leave anymore."

I glared at him too. "There never was before." My eyes tightened in suspicion. "Was there?"

"Of course not." he agreed smoothly.

There was that something off again. Like when Aro said things that made no sense, some of the Guard did as well. I knew I'd screwed up in my last mission, but I was fuzzy on the details why. Which was odd in itself…. Add to that the way everyone acted around me, and I knew I was missing something. But what, I didn't know.

I planned to find out.

The sound of tires came to my ears, and I returned to leaning against the tree trunk to wait for them. As the vehicle came into view, my eyes tightened, and I raised my hand to pinch the bridge of my nose, an odd habit I couldn't remember picking up.

"Alice, I told you to stay." I moaned as she stepped out of the car.

The little pixie sent me an innocent look. "Aro thought I should come because I keep having visions of the location."

That lifted my head. I gave her a pointed curious look. "Do you?"

She nodded, and I leaned more fully back into the tree. "Huh."

"Am I missing something?" Chelsea snapped.

"A brain," I retorted. She growled, lowering into a somewhat crouch. Time to take control of the situation again.

I straightened fully, and brought forth my best I'm-in-charge face. Turning, I faced the group before me, pushing aside all personal feelings and opinions and focusing on them as assets and weaknesses. I let the Guard that I had been for the past four years take complete control… I buried what I really thought and felt into a box and locked it.

Alice was an amazing asset; she could see things that would happen before they did, and she was extremely adept at fighting. No one could catch her if she didn't want to be caught, she was so fast; she'd be underestimated because of her size, so she had the distinct advantage there. But I also sensed she had a hidden purpose for coming here, and I knew I'd need to keep an eye on her.

Alec was the secret weapon of the Volturi. No one who knew about his power lived to tell about it, and if they did, they were with us and _wouldn't_ tell about it. Overall, though, he was not a talented fighter in combat. He'd need to be kept towards the sidelines until his skill was necessary.

Chelsea was useful; she'd drive the other side apart while bringing us closer. The only mutiny when she was around was the kind she caused for the other side. But she also disliked me, and thus might turn the rest against me. I'd have to be careful about her. Her fighting skills weren't lacking, but they didn't stand out in any way.

Demetri would always now where to find someone, especially once he could pick up their mental scent. And he could fight, well. He was one of the Guards involved with my training, so I should know. Also, he was sensible, unlike Chelsea, and I knew he would follow orders and not turn against me unless Chelsea worked her evil little gift.

June… nope. Still didn't see why Aro had sent her. For one thing, her power was next to useless here, and her fighting skills were lacking. He'd given us a huge weakness, and endangered the mission. The only good to perhaps come from this is that she'd maybe learn what I was talking about. These vampires wouldn't blink before killing her; they were powerful and ruthless, not to be underestimated.

I sighed inwardly and scoffed. It looked like it would mainly be Demetri, Alice, and I, with Alec as back up, and maybe Chelsea, and June staying _way_ back.

The silence as they waited for me to speak was tense, and somewhat fear-tinged. They were afraid of me, even if they didn't and wouldn't admit it. The Guard in me too extreme pleasure and pride in that. The person I'd been before the Volturi wished it weren't so. I shoved that part of me down deeper.

"Alice, I need you to keep an eye out so we know what the Southern's are up to. Demetri, start tracking them down as best you can so we know where their center of operation is. Chelsea, I only want to see mutinies occurring on the opposite side, and not until I give the say so. Alec, same as usual - stay back until we need you. June, stay the hell out of the way."

I got into my Arrow, trying to shake off the unusual feeling that came over me again. Growling softly, I waited as June tentatively got in the back, and Alice slipped in front with me. Demetri was outside, already starting to track them, and Chelsea and Alec were getting into the other car.

Alice tilted her head, a thoughtful look on her face. "Hey, Bella… your car smells… familiar."

I slowly turned my head to look at her and raised a brow.

She rolled her eyes. "No, I can pick up your smell - it's practically saturating the upholstery - and then I can smell Chelsea and Demetri. But there's another smell, like something that I should remember but can't…." she trailed off, frowning in frustration.

June made a squeak, and I glanced back at her, giving her an odd look. Her eyes widened as they met mine momentarily, and she quickly looked out the side window.

Then I looked back at Alice. "Ignore it. That's what I'm doing."

It was unnerving sometimes, how in tune Alice and I were. I'd thought it was simply me imagining things when I'd gotten into my Arrow and found myself burying my nose into the passenger head rest. It smelled sweet, like honeysuckle and sunshine, and made my brain fuzzy. There were a few other scents I didn't recognize but I'd ignored them. It wasn't difficult - the honeysuckle overwhelmed my brain, distracted me from anything else. That odd half-remembered feeling hadn't left, either, since I'd smelled it.

I knew there was something going on now, but I had no clue what. But I was determined to find out.

JPOV

I lingered in my car, breathing in the fading scent of Alice. It was still there, but it was slowly fading, like my hope for her to be alive. Probably, I was being a glutton for punishment, but I didn't want to give up. If I gave up hope, I'd have no reason for living… which meant I'd have to find some way to cease living. I knew it sounded overly dramatic, but I meant every word of it.

Jackie came up, steps light and fast like a hummingbird's wings. She was hungry, I could feel it in her emotions and see it in her eyes, but also curious. She didn't understand my aversion to humans, but oddly enough, unlike most others of our kind, it didn't make me any less dangerous. It made her immensely curious.

"Jasper, would you care to join us? We're going to feed."

I stared straight past her, over her head. "No."

She sighed. "I give up. Mr. Whitlock, what is so appealing about drinking from animals? Does it make you stronger? Increase your power, speed, reflexes?"

"No."

She groaned. "You are annoying beyond all measures. If it is of no use, why avoid human blood?"

I looked down at her, testing her emotions. Frustration, a tinge of exasperation… but still curiosity. She truly wanted to understand, which meant she would probably be willing to try it if properly persuaded. I was no Carlisle though.

"I can live among the humans. Feel like I belong to society, rather than live on the edges of it. We who feed on animals can form closer bonds, larger families. We don't have to move around as often. I have gained much control compared to what I used to have, though it is nothing compared to the rest of my former family members'." I met her gaze directly. "I no longer feel guilty, depressed. I can have a life beyond fighting, killing, winning land."

Slowly, Jackie nodded. "That is something that can be desirable. I see your point." She turned and started walking away. Smirking, she called over her shoulder, "But I'm still sticking to my diet!"

I shook my head at her odd tendencies.

EPOV

It was the middle of the night in Phoenix, Arizona; barely anyone wandered the streets except the lowlifes and those with less than honourable intentions. However, I was in no mood to feed today. Victoria had left to feed again, having less control than I appeared to have.

I was in one of my moods again. A dark, brooding, furious mood, one that made me lash out irrationally at my only companion. The mood was always triggered my the oddest things, or sometimes even nothing. But today it had been a simple smell.

Strawberries.

We'd been walking through the streets of the city during the day, as it was one of those rare cloudy ones that showed up maybe four times a year here. It hadn't been raining however, so people had been outside, enjoying the cooler weather while it lasted. Passing a park, the smell had assaulted my nose, teasing me. Illogically, I had frozen, looking around desperately. I hadn't - and still didn't - understand the reaction to the smell, but only knew I had to locate the source.

All it had been was a little girl eating a strawberry ice cream, the pink frozen cream smeared around her lips. Her mother had smiled down at her and gently wiped her face clean pecking the child on the nose after she finished. The little girl had smiled and then gone back to eating the treat.

Disappointment and depression had crashed through me.

So now here I was, pacing the room like a caged lion. My abrupt urge to escape to Africa had dwindled again, until I was reluctant to leave anywhere. I wanted to stop moving, to stay in one place.

And wait.

For what, I didn't know. I just felt like I should wait. I felt like I _was_ waiting, and searching, needing something, wanting it. Perhaps I should finally return to Carlisle. It had been decades since I'd seen him, though, and I had no idea where he might be. He had been right, of course; there was no way I could play God by deciding who lived and who died. Who to punish and who to let walk free. I was ridiculous, but I just couldn't return now. Besides not knowing where to find him, I'd been gone for an incredibly long time. If I returned now, admitted defeat, I would never be able to look at him without shame, without knowing that I'd failed him. Perhaps, if it hadn't been so long, I may have been able to find the courage to try to find him. But it had been too long. If I went back now, I wouldn't know what to do with myself.

Frustrated, I sighed, running my hands through my hair and looking up at the ceiling. How was one to keep interest in life for so long? Carlisle had his passion for healing, the Volturi for keeping order in our world. How did they manage to find the willpower to live for so long? How did they manage to find a purpose to keep their interest for all that time?

It wasn't like I could do much with my diet as such. There was no chance I'd join the Volturi - though going to them for death might sound appealing at times - and there wasn't much else I could do feeding from humans as I was. And I couldn't find it in myself to return to Carlisle, for many reasons. But did that mean I couldn't attempt his philosophy on my own? Could I feed from animals without him there to guide me, keep me on course?

There was no shame in trying. And perhaps, if I managed to accomplish his way of life on my own, I could find the courage to return to him. It wouldn't be easy, no doubt, but I was tired of being a monster.

Whether that meant it was time for death or simply a change of diet, I had yet to decide.

**Please review! I love all my readers, and love hearing from you! **


	6. Chapter 6: High Fun

**Okay. So here's the dealio. Sorrow is taking a backburner priority. I want to get this completely RIGHT, and therefore I want/have/need to work on developing the plot a little better. I have a vague idea of where this is going, but it's nothing too concrete. So, ****A Neverending Night of Sorrow ****is probably only going to be updated every month or so, or maybe less. I swear, no quitting for me, but it will be a long while between updates. I hope you don't give up on me, cause I want you all to enjoy what Sorrow has to offer, but if you don't like waiting or something, or just don't feel into the story anymore, let me know and I'll PM you a vague overview of what happens, maybe. Eh.**

**But here is the next chapter, and I think you might be a little surprised….**

APOV

Bella wasn't an idiot. I knew she knew I wasn't here only for the reasons I'd given. I wanted my own mysteries solved; and I felt that if I did solve this mystery, everything would fall into place. I could almost see it, though there were no images or visions forthcoming. I just knew that coming here and following my visions to the tortured blond vampire haunting me would cause a chain of events the likes of which the world had never seen.

Plus he was hot and from what I could see single.

I was lounging on the back porch of the house we were based in, staring up at the wide sky scattered with stars. Bella stepped near-silently onto the porch and leaned back next to me, sighing lightly.

"You know what I miss most about being human?" she murmured, absorbed in the night sky.

I shook my head, glancing slightly at her from the corners of my eyes. There was a wistful look on her face, almost dreamlike.

"I miss being able to slip away from the world into sleep. I miss being able to dream and pretend - for however long I'm able to - that this all isn't real when it gets to be too much. Alice, it's only been four years for me, and I'm tired. I feel like I'm missing out on something so great, and that I'm empty inside. I just want a… break." She turned her eyes to meet mine. "And without sleep, there's no way for me to get one." With a soft sigh, she returned her gaze to the sky.

Slowly, I looked back up there as well, but inwardly I was feeling a little panicky. What Bella was talking about was dangerous. Most vampires didn't get bored with eternal life until they were really old. Like, Jane, Alec, Aro old. Bella wasn't even past any age that she would have died for if she were still human. If she were still human, she'd probably be about twenty-two or so, and no one should be bored with living at such a young age. But I knew of no way to make her feel better, so I said nothing and decided to keep close tabs on her future. If I saw even a hint of her thinking of ending herself, I'd kill her myself.

"I don't remember anything about being human," I admitted. It just felt like one of those times that was filled with deep-sharing. "I don't remember much of anything… just remember showing up in the Volturi. I know I was alone when I woke up… and then it blacks out, fuzzy and soft. I know I travelled around for a while, but I can't remember where, or if I ever met anyone, or anything at all. And I don't know why."

Bella was silent for a moment, then said quietly, "Perhaps one day we'll both have the answers we search for. I'm going hunting, Alice." She turned and leapt over the railing, landing lithely on the grass, and took off running for the closest town.

I watched her go, feeling sad. A quick glance at her future revealed nothing out of the norm, and I came back, starting to head back into the house. But halfway there, I changed my mind. There was something about tonight that didn't feel like one of those stay-at-base nights, and I felt the need to go out. Not shopping - I know, shocker, right? - but just out.

I ran to the nearest big city, knowing Bella was probably nearby hunting. Sure enough, after checking for a vision, I saw her taking down someone in a dark alley. I wandered around the streets, keeping an eye out for her and my nose open in case her scent drifted my way.

Instead, the smell I'd been obsessed over in her car caught my attention.

It was very, very faint. Probably a couple days old, and impossible to follow. But I stopped and tried to find which direction it was coming from. I frowned and walked towards a small club tucked in between two tall indescript buildings, with barely a sign out front. I opened the door, digging an ID out of my small purse to flash to the guy waiting there, and then walked farther into the room, looking around the dimness. It seemed slow, not too fast or popular or even that upbeat. A bar was along one side of the room, with a few patrons sitting there nursing drinks. It was late enough that most of the responsible party crowd had left already, and that closing would be soon. There were no other vampires in the room, though. Here, the scent intermingled with sweat, and alcohol, and arousal, and even faint hints of blood, confusing me and making it impossible to follow the scent any farther. I sighed unhappily and turned to leave. No one noticed or tired to do anything because they were all too drunk to do more than sit there and lift the cup to their lips. Poor depressed, lost humans.

I stepped into the chilly night air and looked around.

"What are you doing here, Alice?"

Bella pushed off the wall, where she had been leaning with her arms crossed, and looked me over sternly.

I shrugged. "I felt like going out. When I got here, I started looking for you." I didn't mention the scent I had followed; I doubted Bella would like it very much.

She stared at me for a long time, long enough that I knew she knew I was leaving something out. But she didn't press me for it; Bella and I had a close friendship, and never pressed the other for details they didn't want to share. Right then, I was incredibly thankful for it.

"Will it put the mission or any of us in danger?" was all she asked.

"No." I said right away.

"Good," she murmured, nodding slightly. Then she linked her arm through mine and led the way towards the edges of the town. "Alice, if you want something do to tonight, let's make it fun. Here in town, there's not much for us to do, but out of town… well, we have less restrictions, yes?"

I nodded, trying to see what was in the future, but Bella was blocking me. I huffed in exasperation, which made her chuckle.

She pulled out her phone and spoke rapid fire into it, in such a speed that any human would have been unable to hear. I, however, was not human and could.

"Demetri, want a night of fun before the grind work?" She grinned. "Yeah, bring them all. We can pick on June, since she's the newbie." She winked over at me. Bella had never considered me a newbie, and made sure the others didn't treat me like one.

"Five minutes." Bella announced to Demetri and snapped the cell phone shut. "Come on," she giggled.

I gave her a suspicious look. "Bella… something is wrong with you. What is it?"

She snickered. "Umm… _nu_thing."

I rolled my eyes as she giggled again. "Liar."

"Okay, well, I think they guy I drank was high cause I feel like I think being high would feel. I don't know, I've never been high that I can remember, and he did smell rather odd, but I thought that was cause he was like, just smelly. I shoulda known better…. Ah well. Oh, and tonight's going to be fun, so I'm all excited like for it."

I gave her a long look. "You're kinda scary when you're high."

She grinned with malicious mischief. "Yeah. I know."

We ran into the woods, Bella seeming to know where exactly to go. Maybe she had been here before and did, or maybe she was just running and being high-induced. I went with the been-here-before scenario when we stopped in front of a large lake, with a dock, abandoned boat house, and sandy beach. I raised my brows at Bella, but before I could ask her anything, Demetri, Alec, Chelsea, and June showed up.

"Perfect!" Bella trilled, and skipped up to them, planting kisses on all their cheeks.

Demetri looked a little confused, Alec a little worried, and Chelsea looked completely disgusted. It was a perfect image to go with her inner self, making me fight off a snicker. Where's a camera when you need one? June practically had a heart attack, I swear, when Bella kissed her cheek. Bella didn't seem to notice, just skipped back to me, planted a soft smooch on my cheek, then clumsily folded herself onto the ground, giggling.

"I fell!" she laughed happily.

Demetri raised a brow as he folded himself down across from her. _Gracefully_. "Yes, you did Bella," he said like one would to a small child.

I sat down next to her, but didn't tell them she was high. It was more fun this way.

June sat next to Demetri, Alec next to Bella, and Chelsea between him and Demetri. Demetri brought out a deck of cards.

"Alright. Strip poker Vamp style. No powers," he sent me a pointed look, " and gets to decide how to punish the rest of us losers."

Bella snickered. "I think I should win. It might come in handy when Chelsea tries to kill me."

Alec rolled his eyes. "Bella, she's not trying to kill you."

Bella looked at him with wide eyes. "Yes she is, Alec," she told him very seriously. "She's been plannin' it all week, I swear. Look at her! Doesn't she scream evil?"

I glanced at Chelsea, who looked sour and indignant.

"Yes." I stated simply. I got an outraged look from Chelsea, and an amused one from Demetri.

"Well, Bella," he said. "We'll try to keep you safe. Aro wouldn't like it if you died."

Bella shook her head frantically. "Nu-uh, he would not like that. You'd all get locked in coffins in the basement."

June looked at her wide eyed. "What?" she squeaked.

Bella nodded enthusiastically, grinning. "Yeah! Aro has a basement with coffins in it that he locks people in when they're bad and lie to him and don't do what he wants and stuff. It's scary. And you can't break the coffins! They're like, indestructible-er than us!"

Alec rolled his eyes. "Bella, stop telling tales."

She looked at him again with wide eyes and an indignant expression. "I'm not lying! Aro locks people up in there!" She lowered her voice to a confidential whisper. "He's crazy."

"Okay," Demetri interrupted. "Let's get playing."

Bella held her hands out eagerly for her cards, letting loose a stray giggle every now and then.

"Shiznits!" she exclaimed angrily. "Not cool!"

Chelsea snickered. "What? Bad hand Bella?"

Bella pouted. "I didn't get a royal flush."

"Uh…" June trailed off. "I don't think I've ever played poker."

"Then you'll lose," Bella muttered distractedly, frowning - or more accurately pouting - at her cards. "Why are you being butts? Don't'cha want to win?" she added in a lower mutter to them.

Alec laughed. "Bella, whatever happened to you to make you like this, it should happen more often."

Bella looked up with a frown. "Wait, huh? Make me like what?"

Alec snickered again. "Exactly my point."

For a little while, Bella frowned, trying to figure out what he'd meant. But eventually she gave up.

The game continued, with Chelsea surprisingly losing before June did. Alec lost after that, then June dropped until it was Demetri, Bella, and I. Even being high, Bella was extremely talented, which made me fear what she was like completely sober and rational.

"Pooie!" Bella exclaimed as she lost.

Demetri and I snickered as she removed her last article of clothing and sauntered into the lake.

"Gah!" she shrieked. "I think a fish just felt me up!"

Rolling my eyes, I went back to focusing on the game with Demetri. I, of course, won. Duh.

"Damn." he muttered, taking off his last piece of clothing - his shirt - and following after everyone else into the lake. Not one to miss out on any of the fun, I removed the thong and bra and followed them all into the lake. It wasn't cold to my skin, even though it was probably to a human. Actually, it felt a little warm, heating my frigid skin by the barest degree. Bella was glaring around the water around her, muttering about perverted fish. I pressed my lips tightly together to keep from laughing and swam over to where June was isolated.

"Pretty good game you played, June, for never having played before."

She shifted uneasily, a little away from me. "Um… thanks."

"Fesso fish, stop feeling me up!" Bella shouted from across the lake, splashing around in the water as if the fish was going to stay nearby.

I snickered, and even June let loose a small giggle. "She's going to be pretending this never happened come morning," I whispered, "but we can't let her forget it. So just randomly bring up perverted fish."

A slightly fearful look entered her eyes. "Oh, uh, I don't think I will. I don't want her getting mad at me or anything…"

There was something behind her words, but just as I was about to ask about it, something cold and slimy brushed against me. I shrieked in surprise.

Bella was next to us in an instant, making June shrink back.

"Alice, did the pervert get you too?! We should just send him over to Chelsea. It's the only way she'll ever get some."

"Hey!" Chelsea screamed, while everyone else laughed.

Bella shrugged, then giggled. "Ah, well."

A loud shrill voice rang out. "Don't pick it up! Run! Don't pick up, don't pick up, don't pick up!"

With a sigh, Bella swam and then ran towards her pants, where her cell phone was. "Yes, Aro?" she asked impatiently. A brief silence, then. "No. We're skinny dipping in a lake, and a perverted fish is trying to have sex with Alice and I." She paused a brief moment, her head tilting, and added, "I love Alice, but not like that, so a threesome just wouldn't work. I was about to try to send him to Chelsea."

I had moved closer to Bella so I could pick up Aro's side of the conversation, but there wasn't one. Just silence.

"Hello? Aro? Um, did the phone break?"

Aro cleared his throat. "Um… no. Uh… you all should… um… get back to… uh, work? Right, get back to work."

Bella rolled her eyes. "Aye, aye, Captain!" She snapped the phone shut and grabbed her clothes, pulling them on carelessly. I hurried out of the lake, grabbing my clothes and looking around for something to dry off with. Chelsea's cloak was on the ground so I grabbed it and quickly dried my body off. I dropped it on the ground just as she came out, and hurriedly pulled my clothes on.

"Hey, you little pixie devil!" she yelled after me.

I caught up to Bella, who was holding a hand to her head and mumbling.

"Bella?" I asked.

She turned to glare at me. "You enjoyed me being high for a while, didn't you?"

I snickered, which was all the answer she needed. We got into her car - I wondered who had dared to drive it here - and she started it with the keys still in the ignition.

"Fucking idiots, leavin the keys in here so anyone could take my Arrow." she muttered. We pulled out onto the faint, overgrown road and sped towards the highway. After we got on it, Bella frowned and looked at me.

"…I said something about perverted fish, didn't I?"

I laughed.

**Yeah, I know. Super short, right? Well, I wanted to give you something now after such a long while. I hope nothing here offended anyone; if it did, oops. And it's my story, so Bella can get high off of someone's blood, and then it wears off rather instantaneously and randomly. And I have no clue how to play any kind of poker, so that's why I said nothin' really about it. And… I don't know what to add.**

**Review and I'll tell you… I don't know. Huh. Oh! I'll either tell you about who the next chapter is about, or I'll give you a quote from the next chapter of Ignorance. You have to request which you want, or it'll be only about this story. ;)**

**REVIEW MY MINIONS!**


	7. Chapter 7: Skyrocketing Confusion

**Hey there! So, it's been little over a month since I last updated, and I did say it would happen at least once every month, so here it is! I would like to thank all my reviewers, and everyone who is sticking with me even though the situation is not the best. You are all wonderful support and I probably wouldn't be working so hard at getting this right and updating without you. Kisses and hugs to you all. **

_JPOV_

Jackie was going with the squad of newborns to a small town nearby that was under the control of a competing group of vampires. I was invited to join them, of course, but I wasn't about to be so fully drawn back into the world I'd escaped all those decades ago. Not now and likely not ever.

I watched as the large group left into the woods, on their way to cause bloodshed that would never be noticed by the humans. Hector was lingering in the house, his emotions dull and bland. He wasn't going to live much longer in this world. Here, it paid to always be interested, on your toes, aware of everything. Hector was too boring, for lack of better word, and easy-going to last. Jackie, or someone like her, would take him out sooner or later and overtake his territory. It was the way of the world down here.

Time down here seemed to move differently. It blended all together in a repeating, expected schedule of planning to kill, training, turning, and killing. Survival of the fittest, meanest, most powerful, and screw everyone who stands in their way. I couldn't recall off the top of my head how long I'd been here with Jackie, Micky, Hector, Jason, and the others. It could have been two weeks or two months easily. I pulled out my cell and checked the calendar.

I had to look again just to make sure I'd read it correctly. It'd been three months, not two, one, or less. I'd been down here in the south, away from my family, for three months. Which meant I'd been missing Alice for almost a year. Just a few months left until it'd been a year… the thought was terrifying.

I needed a distraction from the thought. Hunting always managed to remove thoughts of everything but the instincts inside; it was a good option. I leapt up from where I'd been sitting and ran into the woods, travelling without a care for which way I was going. I'd be able to follow my scent back to the place if I got lost.

_APOV_

We'd been down here for about a month now. Demetri was having trouble finding our quarry; they seemed to up and move at random times when he was closing in on them, making him have to start the search over. It frustrated Bella immensely, and she was getting short-tempered, something I'd never seen before. Before this mission, I'd have never thought of Bella as anything less than calm, collected, and always patient. I'd apparently been wrong. Right now she was completely different. Yesterday Demetri, Alec, and I had all had to hold her back from tearing off Chelsea's head. Chelsea had been terrified, and neither of them would tell us what the fight had been about.

Bella was gone again tonight, on something mission related with Demetri. Alec and June were watching a movie in the other room, and Chelsea had gone hunting. So I was, in essence, alone.

How dreadfully boring.

_The blonde vampire was running through the forest. He paused in a clearing, looking around…. He ran his hands through his hair, looking so incredibly sad…._

Hmm… the blonde vampire was nearby. I recognized the tree he stopped by in the clearing as the one near the lake that Bella and I had run through multiple times on our way to town. Perhaps…perhaps if I finally saw this man in person instead of a vision, I'd be able to figure out why I kept seeing him in the first place.

Not that the view was all that horrible, mind you.

I jumped up and started out of the house. I was almost at the edges of the woods when a voice stopped me in my tracks.

"Where, oh _where_, do you think you are going, Alice?" Bella sighed.

Slowly, I turned around to face her. "Um... out?" I suggested.

She rolled her eyes, arms crossed over her chest. "Yeah, well, don't do anything that will get us killed. Or I'll kill you."

I smiled gratefully at her. "Sure thing Bells." I turned and rushed into the woods, running as fast as I could. I didn't want to miss him, otherwise I'd be unable to find him. Which would be totally pointless to this little personal mission.

I reached the edge of the clearing just as he started leaving it. Perfect timing!

Silently, I stalked after him, feeling an odd giddy energy throb though me. Images - not visions, just imaginings - of pouncing on him danced through my mind, usually followed by some actions that one wouldn't consider unless they knew a person well. _Really_ well.

He wasn't paying attention to me, and if we were in a city surrounded by humans, I'd say he was hunting from the focused, intent look in his dark eyes. I followed with interest, pausing to breathe in the scents on the air deeply. There weren't any humans for _miles_, so why was he hunting?

Ahead of us, in a sparse clearing near a creek, a small herd of deer grazed calmly, unperturbed; their scent was being blown away from them, at a slight angle towards Vison-man and I, but our scent was away from them. Vision-man crouched just at the edge of the clearing, watching the herd with a single-minded intensity that confused me. What was he…?

He dashed out of the fringe and into the clearing, causing the herd to bolt and scatter. Within seconds, he'd run down the oldest male there, launched himself onto it, and bit deeply into its neck. The rest of the herd disappeared into the trees and brush, the noise of their retreat fading into the distance. I quickly scaled a tree and perched on an overhanging branch blocking me from view partially by foliage, but not hindering my own view.

The blond Vision-man was drinking deeply from the deer, and I watched wide-eyed and amazed.

Animals. He was hunting animals instead of humans. Was he a young vampire, or old? Did this make him stronger, weaker, or just keep him as sustained as human blood would have? What changes would drinking animals have on a vampire that we don't know about? Was it just him, or were there others? Could you change an animal into a vampire? Because that would be very odd, honestly. Did the Volturi know about this, and if they did, why hadn't they mentioned it or given it a try?

I stepped forward slightly in my branch, wanting a closer look. I watched as the hot blond vision-man finished up with the animal carcass, pulling the last dregs of blood from it. How odd... did it taste good? His hair gleamed in the moonlight, honey and gold and so soft looking my fingers literally itched to touch it. I distractedly rubbed my hands roughly, yet soundlessly against my jeans. Just as I was admiring his backside, the small watch I was keeping on the future showed him turning around in just a few moments to catch me.

Holding my breath, though it obviously wasn't necessary, I fled into another tree nearby and then another, racing through the high branches and away. I dashed into the creek farther downstream and followed it for a while so that he couldn't catch my scent, though a surprisingly large portion of me wanted him to. I shook off the desolate feeling; he could be a danger to the mission, and I'd promised Bella to not bring any trouble.

Though… I didn't know if he was trouble or not. And I was still incredibly intrigued by his hunting methods. I'd never managed to catch a good scent of him, so I wouldn't be able to find him again that way. But I was more adequately equipped than others of my kind; I could track his decisions. It wouldn't be all that difficult, seeing as how he dominated my visions so much already. Now, however, he seemed seared into my thoughts. I wanted to get to know him, ask him about why he was the way he was. I wanted to ask him endlessly about his life and himself, and everything I could ever think of. Did he have a power? If so, what was it? Was he the only one to hunt animals, or were there more? Did he have a mate, or any other coven members? Was he a member of any of these southern vampires, did he fight as a general or a newborn? How old was he - when he was turned and now?

I was so occupied by thoughts of him and what I'd seen that I wandered wordlessly into the base-house. Bella looked over at me from her book, brow pulling down in concern. I sent her a small smile, and a talk-to-you-about-it-later look, which she responded to with a small nod, still concerned. I tripped, trance-like, still absorbed by Vision-man, into the room I'd claimed as my own. I sat in the middle of the bed, staring around me. My clothes - I'd brought some with me, and gone shopping regularly since Aro wasn't here to cut in and regulate my shopping time - surrounded me, yet they were of not comfort. I couldn't even find it in myself to care about them. I was so absorbed by the enigma that the Vision-man presented that I couldn't care what happened to my clothes as long as I got to learn more about him. It was an almost overwhelming, overpowering _need_.

Admittedly, it scared the crap out of me.

JPOV

I ran my fingers through my hair in frustration, glancing around the clearing. I'd been sure someone was watching me, but there was no one there, and their emotions were gone. They must have left, and been so calm and casual doing so that I didn't sense the change.

There was a small hopeful part of the back of my mind - the _very _back - that insisted only someone with talents like, oh, say… _Alice_, would have been able to know that I was on to them and disappear so quickly. But that was such an unlikely idea I dismissed it immediately, not wanting to even slightly get any kind of hope up that she was nearby.

I disposed of the animal carcass quickly, and turned to head back to Jackie's house and my living on the fringe of Southern Vampire society.

3rd POV **(This will probably always hint that I'm jumping to the remainder of the Cullen family)**

After being such a large family for so long, having only four members was rather disconcerting to the Cullens. Carlisle never quite realized how entirely they all depended on each other, but it was more than apparent now.

Rosalie, who was usually so steady in her beliefs, was taking the hardest hit of them all. It seemed that without the constant support system of everyone, she broke down. Emmett did his best to keep her happy and not thinking about the three - or four as they all liked to think since they had wanted Bella to join them - family members missing. And likely never coming back. But there were always subtle reminders.

Rosalie refused to work on her cars in the garage because she'd have to see the two empty slots that were a Volvo and Mercedes. And she barely ever touched the two cars that had replaced them, the Maserati and Lexus. She tinkered with them to keep them in shape and running, but never took them out.

Emmett began to grow more and more restless without anyone to wrestle or play games with. Esme only dusted the room upstairs that everyone hated passing.

Though they weren't as firm in their hope as Jasper - they didn't even acknowledge it - all of them couldn't dare disturb what belonged to those missing from the family. Jasper's books were left lying where he had last set them; Alice's clothes and make-up remained untouched and scattered across one of the bathrooms. No one could stand to look at Edward's piano, yet neither could they bear to move or cover it.

Rosalie sat in the driver's seat of her BMW, staring blankly out the windshield. Today her thoughts held a slightly more morbid, brooding, and dark taint to them. Everyone was leaving Forks today; the Denalis had finally convinced them to visit. Perhaps the Cullens were all a bunch of masochists, but they were reluctant to leave their Forks home. Moving away would feel too much like moving on, and none of them - especially Rosalie - felt like healing yet. When you have eternity to do so, why rush?

The passenger door opened and closed as Emmett silently took his place in the seat next to her. He couldn't think of anything to say that hadn't been said before. There was only so much he could do to help her; the best he could manage now was to be there for her when she needed him.

After a couple minutes in silence, Rose turned the key in the ignition and pulled onto the drive. Behind the BMW, Carlisle and Esme followed in the jeep, quiet themselves. Esme was hurting, the same hurt that had thrown her off that cliff all those many, many years ago. It was even more painfully obvious that half her family was missing. There was no silver Volvo holding the majority of her children. Instead it was a red BMW holding the only two left.

She had run out of sobs and tearless crying months ago, months after the four were gone. For a time, they'd made a short reappearance when Jasper left, but she knew he was alive. That went a long way to offer comfort and relief.

Carlisle hoped that Jasper found the strength to live wherever he had gone to. Without Alice, he had seemed so defeated, so dead. The oldest Cullen was hoping that finally taking his remaining family to Denali would bring some life back into them, and lead to their healing.

When they arrived, the three Denali sisters were outside to meet them. All three of them were saddened by the sight of the broken - in more ways than one - family before them. Kate immediately wrapped Rosalie, then Esme, in hugs, conveying as mush as she could with the simple gesture. After a disinterested, yet obligatory question of where Eleazar and Carmen were - off for some alone time or something according to the sisters - an awkward, uncomfortable silence fell.

They all returned inside, Kate going straight to a man standing at the far side of the room. She grabbed his hand, smiling softly, and led him to the Cullens.

"Carlisle, Esme, Rose, Emmett. This is Garrett. He's new to our way of life… but he's quite determined to adjust."

Garrett smiled at them all, nodding but knowing that speaking wouldn't get any sort of reaction out of these people. They were far too depressed. Instead, everyone sat down and Tanya broke the silence.

"Why don't you tell us the full story of what happened," she suggested, not unkindly.

Carlisle took the burden of telling the story, and his family became stonier and stonier as they listened to it all again. Fury swelled from them, almost a physical force, along with pain, grief, and desperation. All of them, in some way, were wondering what they could have done to make things end differently.

Kate frowned slightly when the story was finished, biting her lip. Garrett, noticing, leaned close and whispered into her ear too quietly for anyone but her to hear.

"What is it, woman?"

She rolled her eyes at the term, but couldn't stop the small smile. From him, it wasn't derogatory, it was affectionate, and she liked it oddly enough.

"The time frame… weren't we in that general area when it happened?"

Garrett pulled away slightly, staring off into space as he thought it over. After a couple moments, he turned back to her. "Yes. That was when we met, just about."

Kate grinned. "I knew that. Just checking though." She leaned over and whispered to Irina, who in turn frowned and whispered the message to Tanya.

Tanya frowned as well. "That's true," she said.

"What is?" asked Carlisle. He was the most alive of his family, though it wasn't saying much. Perhaps it was because he was the one who had to put up some sort of front on a daily basis, what with work at the hospital. That wasn't to say the people there didn't notice; they did. Nurses gossiped about trouble at home, with the kids going off to college, with money, with Esme. The rumors were endless.

Kate spoke. "You see… that was about the time we picked up Garrett. And it was even in the general area of Winfield."

"So we were close enough that we should have noticed," Tanya concluded, nodding thoughtfully.

Carlisle looked at Tanya oddly. "What do you mean, you should have noticed?"

Shifting uncomfortably, the strawberry blonde said with a frown, "Unless I'm mistaken, like I said, we were around that area when you say that they were at the cabin. I bet we even know the one you're talking about. Thing is… if a bunch of vamps were killed, we should have noticed the smoke."

Kate nodded again. "It would have been noticeable for miles and miles around, if not by sight, then by smell."

Esme stared wide-eyed; Emmett looked around at all the silent vampires then asked loudly, "So you're saying that we were _lied to_?!" He smacked his fist into a hand. "I'm gonna kill someone."

Rosalie shot up from her seat. "We need to leave. Go to the cabin… anything! We have to find some way of finding out if what you're suggesting is true."

Life suddenly seemed to be surging through the Cullens. The simple possibility of their family - anyone in their family - being alive still had brought forth the hope they had been hiding and denying for so long, and in such a strong rush. It had to be the closest thing any of them had felt to an adrenaline rush in decades.

"Hold up there," Irina said. "We can't go rushing off to Canada."

"Why not?" Emmett snapped, standing alongside Rosalie, his arm over her shoulders. As always, he was all for muscling his way through situations, and was fully supporting his wife.

"We have to find a day or week that it'll be overcast and rainy down there. We also have to…"

Both Rosalie and Emmett drowned out what Irina was droning on about. They didn't care about safety. Hell, Rosalie - who was usually the one most concerned with keeping her family's secret just that, a secret - couldn't care less if a human noticed a couple sparkling people. It's not like anyone would believe them anyways.

"Alright, alright," Emmett grumbled, slumping back down onto the couch. "We'll wait. But you better hurry up with all that."

Irina and Carlisle headed upstairs, talking lowly and quickly about plans. Esme and Tanya followed after them after looking uncertainly at the other four. Emmett was lounging on the couch, already flipping through the channels on TV, Garrett and Kate were whispering and sharing smiles with each other, small touches and looks giving away the love they felt. And Rosalie was pacing, full of locked up energy.

The group of four waited until at least five minutes had passed before sharing a look. Within seconds they were up and out the door, starting up their respective cars.

The rest of the family didn't have a chance of stopping them in time.

**So there's this month's installment of Sorrow. The plot is finally starting to make an appearance, at least part of it. There _is_ more going on in this story than them all finding each other and getting back together. Aro sent them down to the South for a reason, remember? lol Anyways, please review!!!**


	8. Chapter 8: Coincidence?

**Hey there! Here's the next installment...this chapter is a little jumpy on the POVs, but I couldn't really see any other way to do it. If you read Ignorance, that chapter should be up later tonight, Wednesday at the latest. For now, I hope that break will allow me some creative flowing; this week is my last until the 12!!!**

BPOV

Alice was in a daze still, answering rather distractedly. I'd tried to get her to talk to me, but she just… wouldn't. My temper was getting shorter as time passed and we came no closer to finding the vampires we were sent down here to find, and I was stuck in a cabin with Demetri, Alec, Alice, and… Chelsea. With my only close ally being a distracted Alice, I wasn't exactly happy. At all.

I needed to hunt, I decided, glancing at the faint, muggy reflection in the window, my black eyes gleaming back.

"Who needs to hunt?" I called out, looking around the living room.

Chelsea was the only one to raise her hand. Ohm joy, I thought, inwardly rolling my eyes.

Demetri glanced up as I pulled on a coat, useless, just a simple prop. "Bella, if you're going hunting, you might as well check out the last coordinates I got for the vamps we're tracking."

"Sure," I sighed. "Maybe we'll get lucky this time… what do you think Alice?" I added, looking over at her.

"Huh?" she asked, turning around, slightly startled. "Oh… I don't know."

Sighing again, I nodded and stepped outside. It was raining, windy, and I sped to my Arrow, sliding inside, taking a deep breath unconsciously. Chelsea slid into the passenger seat and wrinkled her nose.

"God, Bella. Why haven't you gotten a new car yet? Before, you'd get a new one practically every mission. I still have yet to see a new car."

I rolled my eyes. "I happen to love this car."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," she muttered, facing out the window. Muttering too low for her to hear, I quickly made my way to the large town in the west of Texas that Demetri had told me to check out. Thankfully, no one would be likely to notice a murder too much here. Large cities were full of death.

We got out of the car, Chelsea immediately complaining about the area I was in.

"Everyone here will either be high or drunk or dirty. Why can't we go to the higher class end of town?"

"Because," I rolled my eyes. "A death there will be more publicized and you know Aro wants us to be as discrete as possible."

She snorted. "No, you're just a wimp. You hate what we are, you can't accept it."

I snarled at her, then turned and began down an alley, letting my instincts begin to take over. I was perfectly fine with normal hunting, tracking down a relatively clean human….

Until I smelled honeysuckle and sunshine.

EPOV

Victoria was freaking out as we left town in the car, the last remains of the sun blocked from our skin by the dark tinted windows. I didn't understand why - she'd gotten better at blocking her thoughts from me. But I did manage to gather that if something happened, the Volturi would kill her. And I also gathered it involved me.

I'd never met the Volturi before.

Suspicion returned again; with nomads, you could never tell if someone was with you or against you. I had a feeling Victoria definitely wasn't with me… the question was, was she necessarily against me?

"Victoria, I need to hunt." I said, which wasn't exactly a lie. I tended to take more time between my hunts, in an attempt to begin to return to Carlisle's lifestyle. First, I just had to build a strength of not hunting immediately when I wanted to, to slightly dull myself to the thirst. Then, I'd start hunting animals between the times of human-hunting. And hopefully, after that, I'd be able to stop traditional methods altogether.

At least, that was what I was hoping.

She sighed. "Edward, can't you wait? I want to get to New Mexico by tomorrow afternoon."

I sent her a look again, suspicion creeping up, but keeping it from her sight. She'd worked so hard to get me away from the west coast, and now she wanted to go back. Something was definitely up.

"No," I snapped. "Now."

Groaning, she hissed, "Fine. But make it quick."

Smirking, I stepped out of the car into the first hints of night, then turned and ran back towards the town. She probably expected me to hunt in the closest neighbourhood, but I preferred to run and hunt in the downtrodden sides of a town.

I was just getting into the hunting mode when the wind changed direction, blowing rain and the faintest hint of strawberries and freesia into my face.

Flashes of green and brown and the fuzzy memory of a pale, heart-shaped face assaulted my mind, making my brain hurt, like something had built up behind a block and was nearly bursting out. I shook my head to clear it, and the images trickled away, the pain slipping off with them. But my curiosity had the better of me; this was the second time I'd reacted oddly to the smell of strawberries. I changed course, heading in the tentative direction the wind had thrown the scent from.

I twisted through the streets, wishing I had a better course of where the scent was coming from, and what. Turning another corner, I caught sight of another figure at the other end of the street, freezing just as I did.

BPOV

I was just about ready to rip off Chelsea's head and blame it on a SNV. I mean, it could happen, right? Besides, it wasn't like she didn't deserve it. The whiner complained about everything and anything, and she was probably wondering if it was a good time to kill me as well. It's not like anyone could prove her wrong, except Alice, but she could use her _wonderful_ (not) talent to turn everyone against her.

Unlike with me, where if Alice saw me kill her, she probably wouldn't care. It's so nice when you have the psychic on your side.

I had nearly found the source of the scent. It was stronger now, and I eagerly turned the corner into another street. The rain had let up, so my vision was unimpeded when I saw him.

A vampire, a guy, was at the other end, looking just as shocked to see us as we were to see him. The first thought to cross my mind (besides "oh my lordie he's fine") was 'Please let him _not_ be one of the vamps we're hunting down'. His wet, bronze hair was plastered to his face, his dark eyes standing out starkly against the pale white of his face. He wasn't the most well built guy I'd ever seen, but he wasn't a weakling either. He was… perfect.

"Damn," Chelsea said, stopping next to me. "He's hot."

I glared over at her, shifting my weight slightly towards a crouch. Everything in me was suddenly screaming, snarling, and at the same time, simply wanting to get closer to him.

She continued, oblivious. "I mean, I don't usually go for guys of his stature - I prefer the kind closer to how Felix was - but _damn_, he's hot."

A possessive hiss slipped from my lips and I glared dangerously at her. "Chelsea, shut your effing mouth before I rip it from your jaw." I smiled sweetly as I said it. The imagery was so pleasant; except that Aro would probably lock me up for a month if I did. Hmm… it just might be worth it. Especially if I could manage to set her on fire and kill her along with the jaw-ripping part.

Chelsea first seemed startled, then smirked. "Aw, does little Bella want him as well? Well, I don't think Aro would like to hear that his leader of the mission is risking everything by slacking off and fucking random strangers who may or may not be part of the group we're looking for."

Snarling, I leapt on her, forcing her to make some rather weak efforts to defend herself. Everyone told me that I fought harder, stronger, and dirty when pissed off, and I had an inkling it was true. But to be honest, every time that happened, I sort of… not blacked out, per say, but became so absorbed by the red haze that I wasn't conscious of my actions beyond the basic attack.

I pinned her to the ground and leaned close to her ear. "Insult me again, and I don't care how pissed Aro will be, you won't live five seconds after the words leave your mouth, Chelsea."

EPOV

She was beautiful, her long brown hair dripping down her back and over her shoulders. There was another girl just behind her, but I couldn't really drag my eyes from her. Her eyes were wide, making her seem just as surprised as I was.

For a while at least.

The other woman must have said something, because abruptly the brown-haired one's posture shifted, leaning closer towards one of attack than one of casualty. I listened in to the thoughts of the other woman, and quickly retreated. They were vengeful, spiteful, hateful, and lustful towards me. It was rather frightening.

The woman stepped right up in the other's face, hissing something quietly. I tried to listen in on her thoughts… and heard nothing. Shock rooted me in place, and I listened harder, straining myself but to no avail. There was nothing for me to hear, even though I could see her standing right there, looking murderous.

I broadened out my listening, and could catch the harsh, spiteful thoughts of the other woman, but not… not the brown-haired one.

Abruptly, they were fighting, the brown-haired one reminding me much of a furious lioness, her dark eyes deadly. The other woman's thoughts were frantic and frightened, and… Aro? Wasn't he… the Volturi?

_What the hell was the Volturi doing around here?!_

Slipping into the shadows of a side street, I ran closer towards the fighting women, keeping out of their sight and scent. I neared them just as brown-haired pinned the other to the ground, leaning close to her ear.

"Insult me again," she whispered, her voice a soft, sweet, yet deadly sound, "and I don't care how pissed Aro will be, you won't make it five seconds after the words leave your mouth, Chelsea."

Then she hopped off the other woman, and looked around. I thought I saw disappointment cross her features, and tried again to listen, hoping the lack of distance might help. It didn't. Her mind was as silent as before. The other woman's, Chelsea's, was furious, but frightened. She wasn't going to fight her in hand on hand combat again, but she was going to get revenge. Frowning, I listened more closely….

"Let's go hunt," the first woman said.

Chelsea snorted, rolled her eyes, but didn't say any of the sarcastic, rude thoughts in her head. They both ran off, and, feeling like I'd just let something slip through my fingers, I turned and left for my own hunt in the opposite direction.

Unknown POV

I paced the small room we were all locked up in. It was too dangerous to chance leaving and being found, yet I hated being locked in here. I wanted my revenge, and I wanted to put the plan into action.

The plan. The whole reason I wasn't hunting down that stupid bitch down right now was because of the plan.

The idea had come from the southern covens. They managed to overtake vast territories because of their large armies. The Volturi interfered and kept control of them, but otherwise left them as they were. But I knew we could manage to take over the whole continental US. Because our group had something none of the southern covens did.

And our success was secured.

But first, we had to get rid of a few obstacles. And that was when I'd be able to take out my revenge. Because it just wasn't enough that I knew her life was miserable now. I wanted her to suffer even more. I wanted her dead.

Aro's POV

I was extremely bored. MySpace was still resistant to my take-over. I only had that Tom fellow - or whatever his name was - as a friend… no one else would add me.

On top of that, I had no idea how anything was going until one of the groups from the mission called me. Perhaps I shouldn't have sent Alice along with Bella and the others. I liked having her visions too much.

Jane came into the room, rolling her eyes at me. "Do you know how much our electricity bill has run up with you being on that stupid website twenty-four/seven? It's stupid and insane, and if Bella were here she'd say it's 'completely fesso'."

"Shut up, Jane," I told her, browsing out new conquests for friends. I had probably seen thousand and thousands and millions of pages… all without any luck.

If only Alice were here to tell me if that would change.

Caius walked lazily into the room, also rolling his eyes at me. "I swear, Aro, you are pathetic. I'd be so much better at running this joint than you."

"Someone's grumpy," I remarked. He was always complaining about my managing skills, how he could do better, yada, yada, yada. As if he could really overthrow me.

**Guesses on the Unknown are welcome, if you guess right I'll... idk, mention you in the next chapter. BUT THAT MEANS GUESSES MUST BE SUBMITTED VIA PM SO NO ONE CAN CHEAT!!! Review please!**


	9. Chapter 9: As Life Progresses

**So. I only got one guess via PM, and that guess was… RIGHT. AliceReincarnation, if you don't want me to say it, then I won't. I'll just write it. ;)**

**You can still send in your guesses, but I'm no longer telling if you were right, wrong, or close, and I'll no longer mention people who got it right. That was for last chap only. **

**I hope everyone had a good Christmas, holidays, and New Years Eve. I also hope you'll all enjoy this next chapter… I've decided to try to pick things up a bit. This story needs some life in it. At least it was easier to write this time.**

_BPOV_

"Faster, smoother! You guys need to move flawless-" I gave a wordless shout of rage, clenching my fists, punching one into a tree. It cracked in half and fell with a thundering crash, stopping before it hit the ground because another large tree's low hanging branch caught it. A strained groan of wood echoed throughout the deserted forest, then silence.

"Demitri, you need to stop going easy on June because she's new. What she _needs_ is hard and tough training, not an easy ride! Chelsea, use Alec's height difference to _your_ advantage, instead of letting him use it. Alec, take her stupidity and use it against her!" I ignored the furious snarl from Chelsea and turned to glare at June. "You need to stop being so damn hesitant and gain some confidence. And use that newborn power as a means to your end; none of us have it, therefore you have something above us. Don't forget it." I finally turned my heated gaze onto Alice, my anger beginning to simmer out of control.

"And you, Alice," I said with deceptive softness. "You are the best fighter here, paired against Demitri and June… and if this were a real fight _you would have died ten minutes ago when it started!"_

She glared back at me. "Bella, I was somewhat distracted by a vision of you getting your head ripped off! Excuse me for-"

"I don't fuckin care! If you go into a vision in the middle of battle, _you will die_!" I emphasized. "Learn to hold them back, or sense them coming and get out of the effing battle area, or _something_ so you aren't turned to kindling!"

"It's not like that, and you know it! If I could block them, I would. And I have no idea when one will hit! Besides, like you've managed to perfect _your _power? All you can do is block yourself, and while that might temporarily save your ass in a fight - especially if you've encountered a power similar to it before - you can't protect anyone else! You can't expand, or anything! It's a selfish power."

I snarled, resisting the urge to leap across the field and rip her arm from her body. It was damn tempting though….

Instead, I slowly stepped over until I was toe to toe with her, leaning my face down into hers. "My power is none of your business, Alice. Your's, however, _is_ mine. You are in _my_ command, on _my_ mission group, and therefore of _my_ concern. You will work on how to keep those visions from interfering in a fight, or you will find your ass superglued firmly on the first jet back to Volterra. Understood?"

She glared back into my eyes without any fear, but nodded. That was one thing about her that unnerved me; she was never afraid of any threat I made, which made her dangerous in a way no one else was. It was my price for opening up to her. She knew almost every secret of mine, knew how much I hated this slot in life I had been given, and if she so chose, could use her understanding of me to her advantage. She knew I hated having to kill, especially unnecessarily.

She didn't know I would if it meant living, though.

"Again." I said as if the whole confrontation had never happened, turning around and walking back to my viewpoint at the edge of the clearing.

The fighting started behind me, Alec ducking more often behind Chelsea as she attempted to use her height to her advantage. June grabbed Demitri by the arm and threw him across the field into a tree. Alice kept darting out of her reach, and June kept just barely swiping at her, not quite going as fast as she _could_. Demitri began to creep up behind her, silent.

I focused on those three, their fight seeming to be more imperative than Chelsea vs. Alec (I already knew Alec would win). Demitri paused, then leapt at the younger vampire.

June ducked just before he'd have hit her, grabbing his ankle as she straightened, then throwing him straight into Alice. The two went crashing into some poison oak.

I burst into laughter, grabbing my sides, as Alice emerged glaring at the plant as if it had insulted her. It probably had, ripping her clothing and getting caught in her hair like it had. Demitri picked himself up, rubbing his leg with a slight grimace.

Regaining control of myself, I looked at June expressionlessly. She looked toward me uncertainly, warily.

Then I grinned. "_Finally_." With a short laugh I added, "Now _that_ was using ones assets to an advantage. Good work, June. You're improving."

June beamed, actually meeting my eyes for once. "Thank you," she breathed.

I remembered what it was like to finally feel like you had done something right, to finally get that praise you had been waiting for. It was like any block from before lifted, like you could do anything you couldn't before. She'd have very few troubles now, I believed. June was smart, if a little skittish, and all she had ever needed was to believe that she could do it. And now she did.

"The rest of you keep practicing. June, come with me."

Without waiting for any answers, I turned and headed to where my Arrow was waiting. I got in it, doing the usual pause of deep breathing - the scent was finally being overpowered by everyone else's and fading away. It made me sad, and reminded me again of the vampire in the streets last week when hunting.

June closed her door behind her softly, then glanced at me curiously, still slightly warily. Must she always be so afraid of me? I didn't even know what I'd done to freak her out so much.

I drove us to a small river/sandy beach area several miles away and got out, going to stand in the warm sunlight filtering through the trees and cloudless sky. I plopped down into the sand, hugging my knees to my chest and musing over what I wanted to say and how I wanted to phrase it.

June had sat down next to me, watching for a couple long moments, then staring out at the flowing water like I was. The quiet around us was peaceful, and I finally leaned my face back into the sun, enjoying the warmth like a lizard or snake would as it heated my body by the smallest degrees.

"I so rarely find peaceful moments like this," I said.

June looked up, slightly startled by my speaking, I think. After a couple seconds, she asked, "What do you mean?"

I shrugged, tilting my face to see her. "As a guard, especially a good one. I don't manage to have very many times like this, where there's no fighting, no orders, no killing, or training, or jockeying for position or favoritism." I returned to facing the sun. "I always wish I could freeze time in place when I finally find moments like these."

We were both silent for a few minutes, enjoying the peace.

"You're good, June. Very good. I think you could be one of the best, if you worked for it. It'd mean decades, maybe centuries of constant training and fighting and never deviating from the path. But you'd be nearly unbeatable if you did. Your life would be full of missions, of keeping order in our world, of running around doing the dirty work for Aro, Marcus, and Caius, and of wrestling with other Guards to keep your position and to keep alive. It'd constantly be a fight for the right to live, and you'd live to fight. Your life would be death and destruction and aggressiveness… all to keep the peace for everyone else, of course.

"Or… you could disappear. You could leave this life, remember what you've learned, and use it to survive in the real world better than most. You could find a coven, maybe, or someone you loved, and live a life of feeding and traveling and not worrying about if the world is going to hell in a hand basket unless you felt like it for that moment in time. You wouldn't have to worry about fighting for a position to fight more vampires, or of doing a job, or of getting killed by some rogue with his or her own agenda. There'd be lulls in your life, and long pauses between exciting action and aggressiveness." I breathed in deeply, enjoying the scents off the river and from the cotton trees around us. Of the grass and dusty dirt and the wildflowers in a field across the river. "There'd be more moments like this, of sitting and listening to a river and feeling this peace."

I looked over at her, to see her eyes far away and thinking.

"I didn't get much of a choice, June. It was this or die. For you, it was this, or stay for a year and then chose. If you leave, Aro and the rest will constantly be badgering you when you come within a couple hundred miles. If you stay, they'll have control of your life. One doesn't simply join the Guard for a period of time and then leave, never to be bothered by it again." I gave her a grimly amused, wry smile. Slowly, it faded, my expression shifting unconsciously towards something more serious. "But it's the difference between living your own life, or letting others live it for you. Think about it while we're here in the US. And if, by the end of it all, you don't want to stay, we'll devise something to make it seem like you died." I smiled at her kindly, and rose to my feet easily, brushing off the seat of my pants. "Just promise to really honestly consider what you want to do with your eternity."

We returned to the car, stopped by the training clearing to pick up everyone else, and then drove towards the new coordinates Demitri had gotten. I had Alec call ahead at a hotel and reserve us three rooms - one for the guys, and two for us girls (we would probably end up letting Chelsea have her own, the wicked witch). It was somewhere in southern Texas - I didn't pay too much attention where exactly, since that was Demitri's job on this mission - and I watched curiously in the rear-view mirror as Alice seemed to get more and more antsy, eager, jittery.

"You alright, Alice?" I asked, frowning in slight concern.

She looked up to meet my eyes in the mirror, slightly startled. "Huh? Oh, yeah… I think I need to go hunt. Can you let me out here?"

I gave her a look. That was a lie if I ever heard one… well, at least, an excuse.

Alice pulled out her infamous pout, which no one can stand against for long. Finally, after fifteen minutes of driving without looking at the road, I sighed, biting my lip, but nodded, pulling over. Demitri passed us in the car he, Alec, and Chelsea were in, not even sparing us a glance.

"Alice?" I called softly. She glanced over at me, then danced lithely to my window. "Are you sure you're okay? You've been acting weird these past few weeks." I muttered, low enough that June wouldn't hear from the back seat. "I'm… worried." I finally admitted.

Love and understanding entered her eyes. "Sorry Bells. I wasn't thinking about how my distraction would be leaving you kind of on your own. I'm fine, I promise. In fact, I think things might be looking up for both of us soon if the future plays out right."

I smiled sadly. "Maybe," I agreed, thinking that the day my future began to brighten was the day I found out that everything I held to be true was false; the day my world turned upside down and I was free.

She pecked my cheek in her friendly manner and then raced like a gazelle into the tree fringe.

"Be back before tomorrow morning!" I yelled after her, rolling my eyes.

"I hope yours does, at least." I added quietly, watching her disappear.

After a few moments, I twisted around to look at June. She didn't seem as terrified or jumpy as before, especially of me, which I was grateful for. I hated being treated like a frightening monster.

"Why don't you hop up here? I don't see any reason to hang out alone in the back." I reasoned. Shrugging, June climbed between the seats and fell down in the passenger side, grinning at me.

"What kind of car is this again? It runs great."

I smiled in pride. "This, June-bug, is a 2008 Brabus Bullit Black Arrow. It's my pride and joy and completely off-limits." I ended in a serious and no-nonsense tone.

She snapped me a sarcastic salute. "Ma'am yes ma'am."

Both giggling, I pulled back onto the road and sped quickly towards the town. It was time to hope that we got to some ass-kickin' action. _Finally_.

APOV

He was close, I could see it. I was pausing every so often, pulling in deep breaths of the air around me, hoping to pinpoint his scent. I seemed to be going in the right direction. I hoped I was.

I had seen him in that town that we were heading to right before I got in Bella's Arrow, of him leaving to 'hunt' again and running into these woods. I didn't want Bella to know what I was doing yet; what if he ended up being part of the group we were looking for, and that was why I kept seeing him? I didn't think I could stand to see someone I'd become so absorbed with killed. Through my visions I'd already somehow become… attached.

Strangely, I was eager to see vision-man again, my insides squirming with butterflies. If I had a heartbeat, I'd say it would be going into frenetic palpitations. I sprinted through the trees and brush around me, keeping a sharp eye out for tall, blond, and handsome. I slowed, breathing the air in deeply to hopefully pinpoint his direction more flawlessly.

In a slightly left direction? No. Straight to my left, I was nearly positive.

I sharply turned and scaled up a tree, so that I could sneak up behind him without him noticing. Vision-man was fun to watch while he was ignorant of it. I could ogle him all I wanted.

Easily, I leapt from branch to a different branch, moving closer towards my intended destination. I slowed as I noticed the soft sounds of him up ahead, then stopped as I noticed him just slightly ahead and below me.

He was bent over another animal carcass again, and seemed to be halfway through feeding. I watched from the slight angle I could see him from as he drank deeply, his throat working as the blood slid down it. For some reason, his every movement fascinated me, enthralled me, and I felt the urge to trace my lips down his neck, to nibble his ear, to….

Whoa, Alice. You only just seen this guy for the second time, and you're thinking things that most people don't think right away, especially about people they haven't spoken to before.

_Might as well introduce yourself then,_ a voice in my mind reasoned. I gave the future a quick check - nope, no death to Alice! - and stepped nimbly off the branch and landed smoothly on the ground, as if I had simply stepped off a stair. I moved, gracefully, silently, up behind him as he finished his… meal, and straightened, brushing his golden locks out of his eyes.

"Does that taste any good?" I asked, curious.

Vision-man whirled around, eyes glaring and threatening, then he simply stared, shock replacing the viciousness.

I started feeling uncomfortable with his staring, and my head was buzzing like there was a bee by my ear. Only there wasn't; nothing but air.

"Um…" I tilted my lip. "Does drinking animals taste good? Or is there some other reas-"

Before I could process what was happening, his hands had whipped out to grab my waist tightly in his grasp and he yanked me up against him, his lips descending hungrily onto my own.

There was really only one word floating in my mind as his tongue delved past my stunned lips, plundering and dominating my mouth.

_DAMN._

**Review, review, review! Hope nobody gets so trashed they start talking about perverted fish tonight, lol. ;) I'm off to B&N to pick up my book from pre-order (a WHOLE DAY LATE, GAH!). See you all again in 2009!  
**


	10. Chapter 10: Finally! Some Action!

**Well Lookie here! A new chapter of Sorrow! Sorry about missing last month, but I DID update twice in December.... I know, I know. That doesn't change that I didn't update. I apologize, with the start of school and some other issues, I just didn't have the time or patience for writing this chapter well enough for you amazing readers. Now, however, I had a brain blast and finally have this story at a point that I think I'll be able to go through it much more easily. Not saying faster updates, but they should flow better for sure. **

**I hope you all enjoy. I dedicate this chapter to April Nichole, because she was eager for it to show up and PM'd me to ask nicely about it. (I had already sent it to Creative., so apparently she has some half-psychic abilities, too.)**

**OH, and it's my BIRTHDAY so I think you should all REVIEW. And enjoy. But that's a given, of course! ;)  
**

JPOV

I'd felt curiosity, lust, and wondered who had followed me on my hunting trip. Considering the lust, I was almost sure it was Jackie. Her interest had been growing lately, no matter how many times I told her I wasn't interested. She was a persistent person, that was for sure.

The faint sounds of the blades of grass under feet just behind me were the only warning that the person was directly in my reach.

"Does that taste any good?"

I whirled around, glaring, before the voice registered in my mind. The ghost standing before me did as well.

Alice. My breathing stopped entirely, and I simply drank her in, amazed. She looked just fine, as if not anything had happened to her. Her eyes were dark, though, with a burgundy rim, and I almost asked her about that before she spoke again.

"Um…" Her little head tilted. "Does drinking animals taste good? Or is there some other reas-"

She didn't recognize me, I realized in shock. It didn't matter, I thought a second later, unable to keep from touching her any longer. I reached out, gripping her waist tightly and dragging her up against me, dropping my lips straight down onto hers. She seemed shocked, and didn't respond as I slipped my tongue past her precious lips and into her mouth. In fact, the emotions from her were mainly shock and confusion, though there was definitely some lust there. She may not remember me well, or at all, but she still responded just like always.

She ripped away, anger overriding the shock and confusion, gasping unnecessarily. Still, I felt an odd sense of accomplishment that she still responded to me so well.

Alice opened her mouth, and I recognized her tirade expression.

"Alice…" I breathed, not sure what I wanted to say to her, but knowing that I had to ask one of the thousand questions in my head.

Alice froze, her eyes wide and blank, slightly trembling; I stepped cautiously forward once, sensing the feeling of being overwhelmed from her. "Alice, darling…."

A sharp, pain filled shout left her as her eyes squeezed tightly shut, waves of pain emanating from her. Her hands lifted to her temples, nails digging slightly into her skin, and she began to fall to her knees. I quickly moved forward, pulling her into my lap as she moaned.

"It's okay, Darling. You're alright, I'm here. You're safe, I promise. Alice…. Alice, Alice, Alice. I love you, darling. Don't worry, I've got you…." I continued murmuring any reassurance I could think of, mindlessly rocking her slightly. I could tell that if she had the option to, if she were human, tears would be falling in torrents down her face. I didn't understand what was going on, so I did the only thing I could for her. I held her, sent soothing waves towards her, and stayed with her as she would if our roles were reversed.

Eventually, her whimpers and moans softened and slipped away, her breathing uneasy and uneven.

I pulled away slightly and peered down into her face.

"Alice?"

She looked up at me, her eyes fluttering open, revealing the bright red I had never before seen on her face. I felt cautious, sensing her emotions tentatively.

"Jasper!" she screamed, grin stretching across her face to the splitting point, launching herself onto him with enough force to knock me backwards. Her lips attacked mine furiously, her hands holding the back of my neck to keep my face connected with hers until she let go. I wasn't fighting her off, didn't mind lying in the dirt and grass as long as I had Alice back.

She pulled away, breathing heavily, grinning happily. I felt my own sappy, wide grin pull up my lips.

I had been right. Alice _was_ alive, she just hadn't remembered anything somehow. The Volturi _had_ lied, which meant there was a high chance that Edward and maybe even Bella were alive as well. Elation swept through me, and I made no attempt to keep it in check. The emotions bouncing back and forth between Alice and I, growing and increasing with each passing, were cleansing to us.

"Alice," I breathed, kissing her again, more slowly this time. I couldn't get enough of her, never wanted to let her leave my sight again.

"Oh, Jasper!" she said, pulling away again, smiling at me, still sitting on my chest as I laid back in the grass. "Oh my God! I can't believe it, I mean, you have no idea what happened, I'd bet. Otherwise you'd have never left us - oh! Did you know Bella is alive too? And Edward! He is, Jasper, I know it! Only Aro sent him with Victoria, and none of us remember, except me now of course. And Bella's talking suicide occasionally, and she's super stressed, I don't think she's been feeding well lately. Of course, she still doesn't like feeding on humans, but neither of us remembered about vegetarianism! Oh, Jaz, I've missed you so much. Even when I was in Volterra, I had constant visions of you. I saw how much our family was hurting, and when you decided to leave, and I saw you last time you went hunting, I did! I was watching you, but saw you were about to catch me so I left. I'm so sorry. Gosh, I can't believe…"

She babbled on and on for a little longer, but I was simply watching her. I had pretty much figured out the general gist of what happened from my own inferences and from her first paragraph or so, and I was far more interested in watching my Alice. Her eyes were the awkward red that I'd never seen on her before, not really, but they were in essence still the same. Still vibrantly bright and full to the brim of life. I had a feeling I was grinning foolishly, but it didn't matter. Life was good again.

BPOV

Alice had been gone for a good four hours now, but I wasn't _worried_. No, I was simply bored, annoyed, and feeling that sense of deep loss again.

Great. As if my life wasn't complicated enough lately without a strong depression popping up.

Chelsea sneered over in my direction and complained again about something with my way of work. She'd been keeping this up for the past forty-five minutes, nearly nonstop, and I'd blocked her out after the first nine. Demetri simply sat there, blankly listening and responding noncommittally. Alec had gone hunting, returned, and was on IM with Aro, updating him on our (little) progress. June was reading a book - when I'd asked, she'd simply looked evasive and said "Bones" - and had her earbuds plugged into her ears, music blasting loud enough to drown out Chelsea and everyone else. Dangerous, for if we were attacked, but effective for not attacking within our ranks.

"I think Aro should just have her retired to human disposing. Or maybe even simply get rid of-"

I rose so quickly the armchair I was in crashed backwards into the wall, splintering and tearing a decent sized hole into the wall. Demetri and Chelsea froze and stared at me; June stared, slowly pulling out her earplugs, eyes holding a trace of concern. Without a word, I turned and walked at a slightly faster than human pace out of the room.

I settled into the Arrow, pulling out of the drive and racing seemingly calmly for a good mile. Then I slowly pulled over, clenched my fists, and screamed, long and loud and furious; my fist slammed into the enforced dashboard, just hard enough to release some pent up anger, but not enough to damage anything.

The glove compartment popped open, and papers fell out. I glared, then leaned over, grumbling, to pick them up. When had all of this gotten in here? Not recently, which means either I had shoved it all in sometime and forgotten, or someone else had. I picked up the stack and ran my nose along the sides and front. My scent was prevalent, but I could pick up other scents. There was one I didn't recognize of an ocean breeze, and another that took me maybe three seconds to place.

Aaron.

Pain and guilt lanced through me, and I carefully leaned back into my seat, shifting through each page and article until I had a smaller pile of Aaron. I examined each one carefully.

There was a cell phone, small and compact, and somehow - remarkably - when I tried to turn it on, it did. I turned it back off quickly, stuffing it in a jacket pocket, and picked up the next in the pile. It was a small report, dated around the end of the time of the last mission we went on. I stared at it, then slowly grabbed a single page and flipped it. I had very little recollection of that mission - Aro said from distress, and that I'd begged June to erase it for me - and was curious. I _wanted_ to know.

My eyes skimmed through it at a fast speed, then I returned to the beginning and read it through again. Very little was really included, but it was all new information to me. I did have more questions, however. Where had we been? I concluded somewhere in the northwest, but Aaron never mentioned an exact location. He was also saying that my protection - which made very little sense; since when did _I_ need protection? - was not working out at all. We had to have a traitor, and he really needed to look into this and listen to me when I talked to him about it. He said the other coven were very friendly, and they would surely help if Victoria came after me. Victoria: the name sent a shiver down my spine and I felt my lips pull back in slight, silent snarl. I remembered her. She'd been with James, of course. She came after me? Why didn't I remember this, either?! The rest of the report announced that Heidi and Cate had been missing with no contact for a concerning amount of time. We - as in Aaron and I - were planning on running, with no contact with anyone, and that we would kill Victoria in a trap. He also told Aro to get his ass away from the damn computer and run Volterra already. Aaron always did have a way with words, I thought, rolling my eyes affectionately.

I didn't remember any of this. And I doubted I'd want to forget about Victoria trying to kill me. Did she end up dead? Where had we been? How had I screwed up? Who had killed Cate and Heidi? Felix wasn't mentioned in the report - I thought Aro said he went with us. What coven was Aaron talking about? Who the hell had ended up being the traitor I'd apparently been so convinced existed?

Frustration ran high in me and I screamed again, high and piercing. I almost threw the rest of the stack away, but I was hoping there were more reports.

There weren't. However, I did find one other curiosity, and tucked it into my pocket. Aaron had had a talent for painting when he was human. When he became a Guard, he dropped it, but occasionally would paint something when he felt moved to do so. There was a small painting, a little larger than the size of my hand, wrapped in protective covering, among the pile. It was of me… and someone else. I leaned closer, examining the details. A sense of familiarity tickled the back of my mind, and I distractedly searched for the trigger. The man was obviously a vampire, but with unusual gold eyes. His lips pulled up in a crooked grin, and he was holding me in his lap, gazing down at me. I intentionally shifted away from the gaze in the painting; there was too much being said in it that I didn't want to think about. I was smiling up at him shyly, my eyes… a really odd color. It was an auburn, a mixture of red and orange, but I looked so… happy. And….I shakily put the picture under the report. I looked at the man as he looked at me.

I had started up the car and driven a short ways when I noticed the flash of white in the trees behind me. Who was stupid enough to follow me?

I acted as if I hadn't noticed, but kept a sharp focus on the trees, trying to catch another glimpse of white skin. Nothing appeared, and I sighed, wondering if I had been a trick of my mind. That thought was tossed about five seconds later when my car was thrown about thirty yards down the road.

I climbed out of the wreckage, a horrible sense of devastating loss slamming into me. All my final connections to Aaron had been lost, and all my clues to what had happened last mission were gone as well.

_Who_ the _hell_ had thought it an okay idea to throw my _Arrow _down the street?

Fury boiled up inside me in a tidal wave, all the held in emotions I'd been experiencing the past months down here finally finding a release. Whoever had just done that was going to die a horrible, slow, painful death of the very worst sort. I whirled around, snarling viciously.

Well, one of my questions was answered. Victoria had _not_ died; in fact, she was standing down the street, staring back at me, crouched in a defensive position.

"Bring it, bitch," I mocked, smirking.

Snarling, she charged towards me. I slipped sideways right before she reached me, laughing loudly as she passed. Hissing in anger, Victoria snapped around and in a surprising amount of speed, leapt back towards me. Instead of trying to dodge her again, I braced myself for impact, let her crash us into the ground, then threw her far over my head, watching in amusement as she snapped a tree in half. I hopped upwards, bouncing slightly on the balls of my feet and grinning hugely. A deep sense of satisfaction rose in me. If Victoria had been the cause of the last mission, that meant I could blame her for Aaron's death. That, and she obviously didn't listen when I'd said I'd kill her if she came after me. So, really, I had no choice but to off her.

I sure wasn't complaining. I was going to enjoy this kill.

She got to her feet, hissing at me; I snarled back and started towards her. She blurred forward to meet me, and we clashed, the sound thundering around for most likely miles. Her nails raked down the side of my arm, and I dug mine into her middle. We separated, then crashed again, the sound shaking the ground around us slightly.

Alice was probably watching this happen right now, warning someone to come and make sure I didn't die. Maybe she'd come herself, which would be nice; Chelsea I didn't trust, Demetri would probably make me stop, and June would freak out. Alec… he'd take the fun out of everything, so no for him.

Victoria grabbed my finger and tried to tear it off. I snarled, punching her so hard in the face that her jaw broke and hung unhinged.

She staggered back, and I let her, toying with her, taunting her, mocking her. I simply watched with a slight, casual smirk as she righted it with a sharp crack and shifted it around, fitting it back into place again.

Out of the trees to my right, Alice appeared, her hand tightly clasping that of another vampire. He was tall, blond, with scars running up and down his arms like macabre tattoos, and beautiful topaz eyes.

Like the vampire I was with in that picture.

"Hey, Alice," I acknowledged calmly, ducking low and ramming upwards with my shoulder as Victoria ran at me. She had attempted to dodge at the last second, so I hit her left ribs, resulting in an audible crack and pop of my shoulder. She tumbled towards the left of me, and I spared Alice a glance again as I fixed my shoulder.

"Did you know Vision-man is behind you?"

Of course I knew she did. I was just asking a question without asking; always a useful tactic when trying to appear uninterested in information.

"Yes, I did," she answered vaguely, her eyes half-unfocused. That meant she was keeping a small eye on the future. I grinned at her.

"How's the outcome looking?"

Panic fluttered across her face.

"Bella, you have to-"

I dropped to the ground as Victoria flew at me from behind; I had seen the faintest reflection of her in Alice's and Vision-Man's eyes, thus knew she was coming. How stupid of her.

Still, she snagged her nails on my scalp, pulling hair and skin away. I winced; that had hurt a bit, and would be a bit of a bitch to regrow. I mean, hair was extremely itchy as it grew, and the skin on a scalp was sensitive. Time to up the ante.

I whipped around and grabbed her ankle, twisting it in a horrific direction but not removing it. I wanted pain, because I just felt it deep down… she was why Aaron was dead, why my life was the pits. Maybe after I killed her - after a slow, painful death - my depression would lift enough for me to return to normal. If not… maybe it was time to purposefully bite of more than I could ever chew.

"Bella!" Alice called frantically. "Bella, this is Jasper. He's my mate-"

Victoria body-slammed me into a tree nearby Alice and Jasper. I picked myself up, brushing off stray twigs and leaves, grimacing slightly as I pulled a sharply broken branch from one of the scratches along my side Victoria had left. Great, now I was starting to resemble swiss cheese.

"You don't have a mate," I stated as I started back towards the evil hag.

"I do. I have for decades. I just didn't remember. I lived in the northwest - specifically Forks, Washington - where I met you, with my coven, the Cullens. We're-"

I was thrown backwards into the wreckage of my Arrow. At least I'd managed to take Victoria's ears with me. Grumbling, I carefully pulled myself out, sparing the broken car a glance. "I wonder if that's fixable…" I murmured to myself.

"-Vegetarians."

I threw her a raised brow and a what-the-hell-are-you-blabbering-about look.

"We only feed off of animals, not humans. That's why our - well, Jazz's - eyes are like that."

I blinked, storing that away with my picture information. As I confronted Victoria again, I dimly heard Alice tell this Jasper fellow to leave me be, let me handle this. Good, she knew I'd attack him as well to keep rights to my kill. I was actually only half paying attention to the fight, though.

So the man I'd been with had been part of this coven. Was that also why my eyes had looked so odd? Because I had started on their life style? It sounded likely to me. So I had been up in Washington, when something had happened to make Aaron die, Victoria live, Alice and I forget, and a whole coven and her _mate_ not come looking for her? And that guy, we'd looked pretty… cozy, I admitted to myself. Why hadn't he at least been curious about what happened to-

I froze - a really, _really_ stupid thing to do in the middle of a fight, and ended up entangled in the branches of a tree for it. But I was pretty much in shock. That man, from the other month, the one that I'd felt the odd, undeniable attraction towards. Bronze hair, stunning good looks, but his eyes were reverted to red, not gold. Were the chances of them being the same person high, or not?

I decided it was far too unlikely that they were different, unless they were twins or some other such thing. Why was he down here, then, and not on this vegetarian lifestyle?

More questions without answers. Just my luck.

I hopped agilely down, shaking some twigs out of my hair, then launched onto Victoria.

Alice continued talking to me, updating me on this new bizarre development. "Victoria was trying to kill you, so Aro sent you to Forks until someone managed to kill her. But she had inside help." She sped up her talking as Victoria and I both lost body parts. Me, three fingers that were thrown into the bushes. Victoria, a chunk from her hip that I didn't pay attention to throwing.

"Cate and Felix were betraying you, Aaron was killed by Victoria, Edward - my brother who you were in love with and whom loved you back - went to help you, they captured him, you went to save him, tore Felix to pieces, and Cate. Aro and the rest of the Volturi showed up to take you home, I showed up to try to help you two, Aro made June make Edward forget, join Victoria, and let them go in an attempt to keep you with him. I showed up and knew I had to stay with you until a certain vision came to pass, so I let Aro make June make me forget as well."

I was nearing the red-haze faze of my fighting. I slammed the hag down the road, creating a deep trench as she slid. "Why don't I remember?"

"I'm not sure - you did go to June sometime after we first showed up in Volterra. You were like a zombie then, and June said you came to attack her and she removed your memories in self defense."

I shook my head, then kicked Victoria's leg out of it's socket. "I'd have to be able to let her. So I wanted to forget…. Why?"

Alice shrugged; it was Jasper who spoke. "If the pain Alice was speaking of was as great as she says, perhaps you didn't want to have it. You still knew everything. Edward was with Victoria and not remembering any of it. Such as you. Alice didn't remember any of us, because of you. Guilt, and probably loss."

I nodded, feeling an inkling of that guilt myself as I thought of the fact that it was because of me Alice had been separated from her family for nearly - what? - a year now?

Then I focused on Victoria. "You. Where's Edward?"

She laughed cruelly. "Wouldn't you like to know? But it doesn't matter, he won't choose you. He doesn't love you, remember you. He's one of _my_ kind now."

Alice snarled, fury apparent in her eyes. Jasper's held a deep fury.

"How can I remember?" I yelled to Alice. I _needed_ to remember.

"I don't know!" Alice called out. "Watch-" Right then, Victoria snapped my spine in almost a full half circle and threw me. I landed roughly on the ground, stunned. This is what I get for fighting with a distraction.

"Jasper, don't kill her. Keep her here, though." Alice ran towards me while Jasper went after the hag. She snapped my spine back into place, and I winced as the bones began mending themselves at an excruciating pace. "Bella," she murmured. "I don't know how to make you remember. I remembered because of Jasper… you need a trigger, I think. Or maybe June could fix you. But I can't do anything. My memory was preceded by a buzzing in my head-"

"I've had that." I murmured, then grimaced as another vertebrae snapped into it's proper position. "I have seen Edward before, and…" I trailed off. "Alice, get me to the car. His scent is in there. Maybe if I want to remember enough, and I have a trigger."

Alice nodded, picked me up, and set me down in the wreckage. "Good luck." She slowly stepped away, giving me space.

I grabbed a piece of seat upholstery and held it to my nose, inhaling deeply. It was there, the faintest trace of honeysuckle and sunshine. I willed myself to remember. I had to, had to, had to!

My mind hurt with the intensity of my focus, but nothing came of it. _Damn_!

"Bella!" Alice called happily. "He's here! Edward!"

Stupid spine was just barely in place, but I forced myself upright and shakily walked forwards a few steps. Volturi Guard training: ignore pain, endure partial recoveries. I could function decently enough like this. And I was almost healed fully.

And Edward was down there, bronze haired and dark red eyed like I remembered. He glared resentfully at Victoria, then snapped, "Lock me up again in a bomb shelter, and I just might kill you."

I smirked; he wouldn't get to her before I did. But I was distracting myself. I focused entirely on Edward, trying to will myself to remember. I thought of Aaron's report, trying to bring those memories to the forefront. I thought of the picture he'd painted, of the obvious looks of love Edward and I exchanged. My mind ached, felt like it was about to explode from the pressure fighting to get out. I groaned, holding my head in my hands. At that exact moment, Edward looked up, eyes focusing on me intently. He looked curious, slightly confounded, and suspicious.

Flashes pierced my mind, the sense of almost grasping that evading thought closer than ever before. Green trees, running, tackling a bear. Silver car - a Volvo - speeding past green, Claire De Lune. Marbles, skidding, passing, yelling. Blade Trinity, a couch in the dark, kissing, hands touching, roaming.

Hissing in breathes, I felt Alice rub my arm soothingly. "You're going to remember Bella. You are."

_I turned around, but he grabbed my arm and yanked me back. I nearly crashed into his chest, only just managing to avoid it._

"_Is that a challenge, Bella Swan?"_

_I slowly grinned mischievously. _"_Ma_y_be. Why? You up for it you think?"_

_He laughed, a musical sound. "Oh, most definitely."_

I blinked furiously, gasping, but making sure not to fight off the pain. Instead, I embraced it.

_I dropped down next to him, and brushed a lock of bronze hair from his eyes. My fingers trembled, and I traced them across each and every one of his features, trying to memorize them. Slowly, I leaned down and gently pressed my lips to his, for the last time. I swallowed a dry sob, then whispered, "I'll love you for eternity."_

Brilliant flashes suddenly streamed past my inner vision, everything bombarding me at once. I screamed loudly, wanting to rip my own skull apart. Knowledge that I used to have, but forgot, had purposefully blocked, rushed back to me, a too abrupt tide of swelling knowledge, emotion, understanding that hurt with it's force. But I welcomed it, encouraged it, wanted it. I wanted to remember.

And I did. I remembered my love for the bronze haired beauty down the road, the pain of losing him, the wholesome love of his family, the lessening of self-hate as I learned not to kill. I remembered why I wanted to forget; because it had been too much for me, and I'd wanted to live again. Only I hadn't ended up living, simply slowly dying with no understanding as to why.

The pain seeped away, leaving deadly clarity and rage. It was so on between Victoria and I now.

I rose, with Alice staring at me almost apprehensively, and Jasper stopped to stare as well. Victoria began edging away, towards Edward, who obviously had no clue what was going on, unlike everyone else. Well, maybe some idea, with his mind reading, but still. Clueless.

"Victoria," I called sweetly. "I think you're forgetting something. I owe you, remember?" I ran in a blurring movement until I was mere feet from her… and Edward.

"I warned you that you'd regret it," I added softly.

3rd POV

Emmett shook his head in disbelief. "I don't believe it. That bastard lied to us. Why?"

Carlisle sighed sadly, and angrily. "He must have wanted them for the Guard. I imagine they'd be highly useful. But I don't see how they'd go along with it…."  
Kate shrugged, snuggling into Garrett.

Esme spoke up softly. "Do you think we should call Jasper? Tell him he was right?"

The phone rang right at that second, and Carlisle picked it up. "Hello?"

"Hey Carlisle!"

"Alice!" nearly everyone exclaimed, almost simultaneously. She laughed, her tinkling sound like a soothing balm to the vampires in the room.

"Yes. Here's Jasper. He'll explain everything. I have to make sure this vision works out correctly…."

The phone was passed to Jasper, and he spoke. "They're all alive. I'm looking at all three of them right now. Aro has a vampire that makes people forget. Edward was the first, made to join up with Victoria. Alice was next, sent with the Volturi. Bella voluntarily asked to forget, a few weeks after they got back I think. Alice and she remember, but not Edward. He's highly confused and suspicious though. They need triggers and have to want to remember to get their memories back."

Carlisle frowned. "Aro won't like this."

Emmett snorted. "Forget Aro. I don't like what he did, and if he thinks I'm letting any of them go back to him, he's sorely mistaken."

"We can't fight the whole Volturi, Em." Rose logically pointed out.

"Bella and Alice can help us with it."

Tanya snorted. "I still don't think that will work."

Esme hushed them all, then asked Jasper, "Will you all be coming up here soon?"

"Yeah." Jasper said, but Alice cut him off before he could say more.

"Two days. We're going to stop by the house in Forks to get some change of clothes, and Bella will want her babies back."

Rosalie smiled sadly. "Keys are in Edward's room, next to where he leaves the ones for his Volvo, which the Volturi returned when they told us the 'news'."

"Jasper, hang up the phone. We need to find some matches for Bella."

With hurried good byes, everyone hung up. The Cullens and Denalis smiled at each other.

"Well… that worked out exceptionally well," Garrett said.

**Tada! Remember, today is my b-day, and I updated with an exceptionally long chapter! That deserves a review from everybody.... RIGHT? lol, enjoy!**


	11. Chapter 11: Letting it Happen

**This chapter took control and dragged me along for the ride. I tried to take over again... and was gagged and bound and made to simply type. So... yeah. I think I like this unexpected twist, though. Hope you do as well! Loves and hugs all!**

BPOV

I snapped the bones of my arm back into place, shaking it slightly as the tingles of healing progressed and faded. Alice was flitting around the battle site, finding the missing pieces of my body so I could heal. Right now, she had two of my fingers, was searching for the third, and was gathering Victoria's into a pile to light up on fire. Now I simply had to dispose of the hag either permanently or long enough to heal up. The scars on my sides were slowly closing, the deep hole from the tree branch not as gaping.

I tore Victoria's leg off of her and threw it towards the bushes.

"Edward!" she gasped. "Please, help! They're Volturi; they want to kill us! You can't trust their thoughts, they know about your talent. They'd be thinking lies! I've told you about her, she's the one that killed my James without reason!"

I laughed mockingly as she struggled to crawl into the bushes. "That's a bunch of slander, _Vicky_, and we both know it."

"Help me!"

He looked torn, slightly reluctant, but ran into the bushes. _Damn_, I thought, turning to Alice.

She ran forward with my missing fingers and put them into place. I waited as I slowly began to heal, grimacing in pain. Bones regrowing as fitting together was not a pleasant experience. Victoria found her other ear, and held it to her head as Edward appeared with her leg. I started forwards, intent on killing her while she was weakened, when Edward turned around, snarling. I stopped short, feeling pain lance through my undead heart.

"Edward…"

He was still suspicious, I could see it.

"Can't you feel it?" I asked, taking a slow, small step forward.

He growled deep and low, and I froze for a moment before speaking again. "Edward, you have to feel it. Feel how… wrong this is. Like it doesn't fit just right, like you're missing some crucial piece of information. We keep getting thrown together, remember? Please, Edward. Just… try to recall."

Victoria came at me from the side, my only warning a sharp yell from Alice and Jasper. I braced myself, watching from the corner of my eyes as Edward straightened, pinching the bridge of his nose. A slight success!

"Get off me, hag!" I hissed viciously. "I have plenty of reasons to kill you, and the first one is Aaron!"

She laughed harshly. "Blame Cate for that! She told me to do it! I had no quarrel with him; he would have lived if you hadn't upset Cate."

Snarling, I grabbed a fistful of her wild red hair and threw her away from me, blurring upright in time to meet her in another clash of stone bodies. I was getting really tired of all this; I wanted to end it, now.

I threw her down the street again, made to finish her off…

Edward slid smoothly in front of me, his warning clear in his eyes. No closer.

I dropped into a defensive crouch, a snarl ripping up from my chest. This wasn't supposed to happen like this; he was supposed to remember me, love me…. Not defend Victoria. No. Not right.

He dropped down as well, growling from deep in his chest. It hurt, knowing that he thought of me as the enemy, but also angered me. Why didn't he remember, dammit? Did he not want to remember me?

"This isn't you," I reminded him, not willing to back down, but neither willing to kill him or even maim him. The price of loving someone? You did everything possible to not hurt them, or hurt them the least. "Fight it!" I shouted, feeling desperation creep up.

Victoria walked up behind him, nearly completely healed, smirking. "Don't listen to her. She's the one I've told you about. She tricks you into thinking and believing a lie, then forces you to do things - like kill people - you'd never do before. She killed James… kill her!"

"No!" I snarled, furious. How dare she try to get the love of my existence to kill me! Screw revenge, she was going to burn right now, no prolonging the pain. It would be poetically just; Aaron had no time to react before his death, and neither would she. Tear and burn.

I didn't look away from Edward, keeping my eyes locked with his, begging him to remember with them. It didn't seem to work, or affect him at all. Despair was creeping in. "I'm not the liar, you are! Let him go, bitch. I told you… he's not yours." I flicked my eyes to her, glaring hatefully, even though I wanted to stare at Edward while I could. Because I was finally accepting a possibility I'd never considered before.

I might die. I wouldn't - couldn't, even - harm Edward at all, and I would kill anyone who tried, even if it was to save me. And he obviously was going to defend Victoria. Which made sense; they'd been companions since Aro made us all lose our lives. Maybe they had bonded… maybe they were together.

Maybe he loved her.

And I couldn't hurt him, even to get to her. I didn't know if he was happy now, if maybe with no memories, he would no longer think of himself as a monster like he had before. And if I couldn't get to Victoria, wouldn't fight Edward, wouldn't let anyone fight him… I was pretty much signing my own death warrant.

"He's no longer yours either," she mocked, eyes glittering in happiness. "He chose me, remember?"

"He had that choice taken from him." But I wasn't so sure. The only way I could be….

I looked back to Edward, staring into the dark red of his eyes. "Listen to my voice," I asked, feeling the desperation creep even higher, hearing it begin to leak into my voice. "You have to remember… I know you do." It was in the way we'd interacted that night all that time ago, in that little city where it was raining. "You have to find something odd about this." My tone was practically begging now, and I didn't care. Bella Swan of the Volturi Guard, the best killer they had, was going to die begging for her love to remember her, and she didn't care about fighting back on iota. "Please, remember everything, something. Remember me," I whispered, my voice nearly cracking with pleading. I wanted him to remember me, so, so much….

He paused, I could see him doing so, but didn't have time to think on it, because Victoria was suddenly on me, snarling. Instinct kicked in, and I fought her off, my fury at the world boiling over in that one instant. I'd almost convinced him, I'd seen that if I had been given the chance to just keep talking….

I moved in on her, not really thinking beyond the fact that I'd have my revenge, and one less person gunning it for me, one less issue to deal with. One less threat to my love.

Edward smashed into my side, snarling, bringing us to the ground. My red haze lifted, and I stopped struggling against his hold, going limp.

Alice's hands were clapped over her mouth, and Jasper looked like he was about to intervene. I shook my head minutely at them, letting Alice past my blocks to see what I would allow to happen, what I was accepting as the outcome. I would let Edward tear me to pieces.

She let out a sob, and began to step forward, but I growled at her. Edward was watching the interaction with a predatory intensity. Victoria saw Alice's movement to help - because she obviously wasn't going to listen to me and stop - and went on the attack. Jasper jumped to her defense, and Alice froze, watching me, her eyes vague as she watched the future. I blocked her out of mine again.

Her eyes shifted to Edward, pain and desperation leaking into them. Sadness. She knew he was going to kill me. I wondered if he would ever remember our time together. If it would hurt him when he did and realized he had killed me. I hoped, for that reason, that he never did; at least, not me. Never me, never as more than a Volturi Guard that he took out.

His breathing was ragged, his eyes running over me, a furrow between his brows. Abruptly, he snapped his head to growl angrily at Alice.

I rolled my eyes. "Leave him, Alice. Please."

"Don't you dare give up, Isabella Marie Swan!" she threatened me.

"I'm not." I told her quietly.

Jasper hissed in a sharp breath as Victoria raked her nails down and across his chest. Alice's head snapped towards them, then towards me again.

"Help him." I nodded. If I couldn't kill her, then Alice and Jasper deserved it next. She was part of the reason their family was torn apart.

It hurt to realize I was the next reason. But Edward would - knowingly or not - avenge that himself.

He was growling, a low, constant sound from his chest. It hummed slightly against the points of contact between us. Sparks shot out from where our skin actually touched, and his scent swamped around me.

I could think of worse ways to go, and by worse people. Aro could torture me to death. Chelsea could make the whole Volturi attack me, causing me slow pain for ages before finally killing me. Victoria herself could be the one to do me in. I had to hope, and I really did think, that at least some small, buried part of Edward remembered me, and would be merciful. That this death would be quick and nearly painless, and I would die surrounded by his scent, his arms, him in general. I really could think of little better of a way to go.

His eyes were searching again, and he seemed frantic, a little frazzled. I watched and waited, promising myself sternly to not let all those ingrained Volturi instincts react and hurt him. I was going to let him do… whatever he felt was right.

He gave his head a sharp shake, as if to dislodge something. A buzzing sensation, perhaps? I wanted to beg him not to fight it, to bring it willingly forward, but I simply couldn't find my voice. I was afraid of death; after being immortal for so many years, when faced with it, it becomes frightening. I had never seriously contemplated dying - stray thoughts? Yes - but now I was being forced to and I didn't like it. Not one bit.

If I'd had a heart, it would have been racing. If I were human, I'd be sweating, trembling, panting. As it was, I'd stopped breathing, stopped moving even slightly, stopped blinking. Perhaps, I hoped, if I acted as close to dead as I could, it would make dying that much easier.

Edward's eyes dropped to my lips; he gave his head another distracted shake, his breathing still uneven. My unbeating heart gave a lurch, my stomach churned sickly, and a lump lodged in my throat.

_Kiss me_ I wanted to ask. A last request, a dying parting. Just one kiss to remember me by, and to hold me over into whatever happened after one died, especially one like me. I had killed so many people, and not out of necessity or to live. Just because I'd been told to. I'd ruined the Cullens' family, their perfect, unharmful way of living, out of selfishness. I deserved any type of hell there was.

The begging thought ran through my mind again and again, louder and more desperate and pain filled each couple of times. I wanted to let Edward know I forgave him for killing me, for everything. I wanted him to know I was sorry for everything I'd done and caused to happen in his life, for ruining his life. I wanted to express how much I still loved him, how much I'd fallen for him in the short time we'd gotten to know each other in Forks. But I could find words, let alone make my lips part and move like the needed to in order to form words. If only he could read my thoughts like he could everyone else's. But my damn mental shield - which I had always been so grateful for before - wouldn't let me. If only I could make it disappear, but it was impossible. I'd tried before and failed. But I had never before wanted anyone to hear my thoughts as much as I did now…..

_Kiss me, Edward, please. One last time, kiss me._ I closed my eyes, feeling defeated and letting myself allow vulnerability. _Kiss me…._

His lips touched my own. My eyes shot open, and my shoulders tensed, but then everything in me fell into a deep, complete-feeling relaxation. I had - somehow, for some unfathomable reason - been granted my last dying wish. Edward was kissing me good bye.

His lips parted, allowing his cool breath to fan across my lower face and into my own slightly parted mouth. I could practically taste him, and it was sweet.

I leaned forward, pressing my lips to his once again, and he took control of it with a predatory growl, his tongue charging in and taking command of mine. I fought back against his, putting all the fight I wouldn't give when he killed me into this single mind-melting kiss.

I'd missed the taste of him, without even realizing it; I'd been craving it. I'd been craving Edward. One of his hands moved to my hair, fisted in it. I let it happen, even though he could now rip my head straight off my shoulders if he wanted to. The noise of fighting around us faded out until I was aware of nothing but the panting of Edward and I between kisses.

Did he remember, or was he simply attracted to me? I couldn't tell, and I couldn't find it in myself to care at this moment. His lips trailed away from mine, and I whimpered, slightly fearful. Was he going to kill me now? Rip my head off with his teeth and hands? Or was-

His lips pressed directly to the spot behind my ear, then nibbled down my neck. Gasping, I arched up against him, enjoying the hard press of his body against mine. I tried to lift my hands to tangle in his hair, but he growled, ripping away from me. Immediately, I dropped my hands, eyes wide as his hand in my hair tightened in warning. I lifted my back up and lodged my hands back there, leaving me no way to really defend myself.

But it seemed he was no longer interested in kissing me. He was watching the fight between our "friends"; I glanced over and gaped at what I saw.

Somehow, Chelsea was there, as was June and another vampire I didn't recognize. But Chelsea was fighting against Jasper; that was a fight to watch. The vampire who could manipulate emotions fighting the one who could manipulate bonds of loyalty. Alice was fighting Victoria, and June the other vampire. Cars were parked haphazardly on the road.

"Get up," Edward growled low in my ear. Shivers raced along my spine as his cool breath tickled the shell of my ear, his lips brushing it. He tugged on my hair, his other hand slipping down to wrap painfully tightly around my wrists. I drew in a sharp, hissing breath as I felt the bones in them crunch together in an unnatural way.

Alice glanced over our way, eyes wide and panicked. "No, no, no!" she moaned, dodging Victoria neatly. "No, it wasn't supposed to happen like this! What went wr-" Victoria slammed her into a tree. Jasper snarled, trying to get past Chelsea. June was almost finished disposing of the third unknown vampire, smirking as she pulled a match out of her pocket.

I almost smiled; I'd taught her to always have at least seven matches on her.

Edward tugged, none too gently, and brought me over to one of the cars. It was the rental, I realized, and completely left unlocked; hell, the door was gaping open. Chelsea, I decided, since June wasn't _that_ stupid.

He shoved me in from the driver's side over to the passenger's. I gulped as his eyes landed on the chains resting on the floor; they were just strong enough to hold a vampire, specially made by one of the Guard who had an affinity with metal. Just my luck Chelsea brought them with her. Perfect. Grand. Wonderful.

Edward bound me, and I didn't even try to fight him. I'll admit it - a part of me was intrigued. He'd had plenty of chances to kill me, so why hadn't he? What was he planning, thinking? I'd never been able to fully understand Edward before, but _now?_ He made even less sense to me.

I glanced sharply out the window, Edward following my actions as well, as a sharp screech sounded. Victoria lay in rent in two halves by Jasper and Alice. Chelsea glared in our direction, then ran off into the woods, disappearing. June was staring in shock over at us, making a move as if to come this way. Alice reached into one of June's pockets, withdrew a match, and lit Victoria on fire. I grinned viciously as I saw the flames go up, purple putrid smoke spanning into the sky. Brutal joy at having Aaron avenged lifted inside me.

Edward slammed on the gas and spun us around, speeding quickly - too quickly; rubber burned, stinging my sensitive nose - away down the road. I saw in the rearview mirror that Jasper, Alice, and June attempted to follow after us, but Edward simply picked up even more speed, going well over 140. And after all the fighting they had done, I knew they wouldn't be able to keep up for long.

Sure enough, after ten minutes, they were falling back, unable to keep pace.

Silence reigned in the car for long minutes, before I finally broke it.

"Where are we going?"

He glared over at me. "It's of no concern to you."

I shrugged - as well as I could, being chained and all. "Just curious, Edward."

He snarled lowly, snapping at me to shut up. Wincing slightly, I did.

Hours later, we pulled up in an airport parking lot, parked deep in the shadows. Edward pinched the bridge of his nose between forefinger and thumb for a long instant, then twisted around to face me.

"Listen. You are going to act as if nothing is wrong, make no move to get away. I will kill you, then go back for your friends if you do. We're going to get on a plane. You're not going to ask any more questions. And right now, you are going to give me every electronic device that can be used as communication or traced and we are going to leave it in here."

I nodded. Curiosity was still raging; why wasn't he just killing me already?

He unchained me slowly, eyes watching warily for any movements of mine. The chains clinked away, and I rubbed where they had bitten into my chest slightly, near the puncture hole from earlier. Slowly, glancing up at Edward first to make sure he knew what I was doing and didn't attack, I lifted my shirt up to just under my breasts, glancing down at the hole near my ribs. Scrunching my nose in distaste, I poked the area with a finger. It was sore, but the hole was about the size of a pencil stab. Painful, but not too bothersome.

Lowering my shirt, I reached into my jacket pocket and withdrew my cell and… Aaron's. I'd forgotten I had that. I handed them over, then took off my bracelet, the one that had a tracking device in it. I place each item in his lap, then felt around my person, mentally thinking about everything I had on me and if it was traceable. My hand pulled out my iPod, but there was no way I was giving that up. I made to put it back; Edward's hand shot out and wrapped tightly around my wrist.

"Everything, Volturi."

I snorted. "They can't trace the iPod. And I'm not leaving my music behind."

We glared at each other for a few long minutes before he huffed a sigh, running his hand through his messy bronze hair. Hair I had almost touched for the first time in a year just mere hours ago. My fingers twitched with the urge to reach out and touch it now.

"Fine," he allowed. "But if I hear thought of them coming after you, I'll crush it and take you away again."

"Why don't you just kill me?"

The question slipped out, purely curious, without me thinking about it. I kept my face blank, though inside I was panicking just a little. Why not just encourage him to do so, Bella, I mocked myself mentally.

He tilted his head, watching me for a long moment. Instead of answering, he got out of the car, coming over to open my door and reaching in to grab my arm, holding it firmly in his grip as he led us to the airport terminal. The electrical zaps were coursing along between us, making me hyperaware of the feel of his hand on me.

Edward didn't pause as he walked straight up to a desk and bought two tickets for the next possible flight out of here, anywhere. The woman stutteringly told him it was to Portland, Oregon. I nearly growled at her as she purposefully brushed her fingers along Edward's as he handed her a wad of cash. Hey, he might not remember, but I did, and vampires didn't like to share.

Then I realized where Edward was taking us. Oregon. Where we had at least two informants. I didn't know if one was in Portland - I think we'd killed him a few years ago - but I knew about Parker in Medford, which was only three hours or less away with a vampire driving. The chances of him hearing about our arrival were high…. Oh, God. Hopefully he wouldn't tell Aro, and hopefully, Alice would call all the informants herself to ask about us, if she didn't see anything. Which reminded me… I lowered my shield, hoping she'd pick something up.

Edward pulled me along with him onto the plane, tensing and stopping his breathing as we boarded. I glanced around, stiffening as well, as all the scents of human blood assaulted my nose. I hadn't fed in nearly seventeen days, which was pushing it for us. I glanced at him, noticing the now pitch black of his eyes. He had to have been resisting as well.

"Please. Can't we steal another car, Edward? This is too risky."

He glared at me. "Quiet."

"Edward, _please_. I don't want to be a monster either."

He glared at me. "Nothing will happen, it's not too long a plane ride. It's fine."

I stared at him sadly. "No, it really isn't, Edward."

Something flickered across his face before he groaned, then tugged me off of the plane again. "We'll find a car, switch them up often over the course of the drive. If you try to escape, I will not hesitate in killing you."

I nodded. "Okay."

APOV

I searched ahead in my visions for the one that had convinced me to stay with Bella when I'd been trying to figure out what to do in that mall. The one of her and Edward hugging, and Jasper and I, and Bella thanking me for not leaving her, and Jasper saying we should go home. That vision.

It was gone.

I almost saw Edward and Bella getting on a plane, but then that changed to them stealing a car. And Bella wasn't even trying to fight back. Edward's decisions were constantly changing, from not knowing what to do with her, to chaining her up and throwing her into the ocean, to killing her outright, to pestering her with many questions that I couldn't quite make out. He had no idea what he was doing. None. And that meant I couldn't follow them that way.

"Alice," Jasper said quietly, wrapping his arms around me from behind. "Darling, let's go home. To Denali, at least. Everyone there is waiting for us. And if we're all together, perhaps we can find some way to find Edward and Bella more easily."

I shifted uncomfortably. "I feel like I should have been able to stop that. It wasn't supposed to-"

"I know, darlin', I know. You did the best you could. Bella's a big girl, smart and strong. She can take care of-"

"No!" I said frantically. "She won't fight him, she'll let him kill her if that's what he chooses to do in the end. She will let it happen. And I know what will happen if that is the course of the future. It will make Edward remember, and he'll go into a rage when he realizes he killed her. Then the Volturi will come and kill him. He _can't kill her_."

Jasper looked at me calmly, sending waves of it towards me. I tried to right them off, but couldn't. Not like Bella could, if she chose to.

"Alice, try not to worry. I am positive he won't, even if he considers it constantly. I felt his emotions when he was here. He is far to intrigued by Bella; he knows she knows something he doesn't, and he probably wants answers. His curiosity will keep her alive…. And he still feels love towards her, though he may not realize that is what it is. He felt it, and I felt it. It will keep him from killing her."

June stepped forward, slightly awkwardly. It seemed she was embarrassed to have been caught involved in a lie by Jasper, and for taking me away from him. I'd forgiven her, and told Jasper that it wasn't her fault at all. But June would be June.

She'd explained to us why Chelsea and she showed up when they did. Turns out, we had a traitor among us. Chelsea had been in league with the vamps we'd been sent down here to hunt, and when Bella and I were both gone, she'd called on them to attack. Demetri and Alec were dead and burned, gone for good. June managed to escape, leaving her book by a pile of ashes of one of the SNVs she'd torched so Chelsea would think it was her. Then she'd followed Chelsea and one of the SNVs here. Chelsea had been on her way to kill Bella, and found her nearly dead anyways.

Eventually, we'd have to come back to take care of this problem, but I had higher priorities. For now, I'd do as Jasper suggested, and go back with him to Denali. June wanted to come with us, at least until this whole mess was sorted out, so she would. And once reunited with most of my family, we'd set to work finding the two missing pieces and joining together once more.

_Then_ Bella could burn fesso Chelsea to ashes.

**See what I mean by not expected? Edward _kidnapping_ Bella? Yeah... changes the outline I had going a bit, but eh. I let the story right itself! Please review!**


	12. Chapter 12: Chains and Guesswork

**Bejeebus FF! I was GOING to update this back at like, Saturday, but FF was FAIL. So you get it now. I hope you enjoy a look at what the HOCKEY STICKS Edward was thinking.**

EPOV

The strawberry-and-freesia's girl didn't make any moves towards getting free or fighting me, just sat in the car staring out the window as we raced far past the normal speed limit towards Oregon. Northwest, like I had wanted when Victoria and I had been in California.

Victoria. I wasn't sure how I felt about her being dead; it was an odd thing to consider. I'd been with her for around a year now, and now she was gone for good. I couldn't say I was upset about it… and I felt guilty, almost, saying I felt the complete opposite.

My thoughts drifted back towards the scene I'd come upon, replaying it in my head.

_The girl rose from the ground, any signs of her weakness earlier dropping away like water sliding off a smooth surface. Her gaze focused with fatal clarity on Victoria. The thoughts of those around me - but still not her - were in chaos. The two vampires I didn't recognize were in triumph, though slightly fearful of the girl. Victoria was cursing, edgy, and wanting to escape what she saw as a nearly sure death. She was slowly making her way towards me._

'Edward, protect me. Please.'

_"Victoria," the girl called too-sweetly. "I think you're forgetting something. I owe you, remember?" In a movement fast enough that I was impressed, she appeared just feet from us. Voice soft - and all the more deadly for it - she whispered, "I warned you that you'd regret it."_

I pulled myself out of the memories to listen as she spoke again.

"Are you sure you want to head this way?"

I glared over at her, a little annoyed. She was biting her bottom lips anxiously, sliding down in the seat as best she could with the chains. They clinked softly under her movements, which were almost… well, it seemed as if she were trying to stay unseen.

"What are you doing?" It was highly annoying not to be able to read her thoughts. She glanced over at me, letting her bottom lip slip between her teeth. It was bruised from the force she had been biting it with, and moist. I blinked hard, angry at myself for getting so easily distracted, and angled my glare back onto her.

"I… listen, Edward, please. Don't go through this town."

My eyes narrowed in suspicion. Why shouldn't I drive through Medford? She continued to keep ducked down, lowering her chances of being seen by someone. Which was confusing me even more. If she were going to be seen by someone who knew her, she'd be wanting to stay in sight; but why would she be ducking out of it? Unless maybe there was someone here she considered more of a threat than me.

I glared out the front windshield. She didn't realize how much of a threat I posed to her; not hearing her thoughts, I would be more likely to kill her if I felt threatened by her actions. But not only that… I was fatally attracted to her. Dangerously so. She brought to life things I'd never felt before, things I'd never believed I would or maybe even _could_ feel, and she lit them in a blazing inferno that drove all logic, sense, or drive to live in me out the window.

_The short girl stared with incredible sadness at me, where I pinned the brown-haired girl to the ground. I ignored her, far too interested in scanning the face of my captive. She was beautiful, anyone could see that. Her large eyes were expressive; right now they showed resignation, acceptance, sadness. For a Volturi, she sure wasn't too interested in keeping herself alive at all costs. Her lips were full, plump, calling my attention. I frowned to myself, trying to keep from dipping to taste them. Her hair looked silky, and I had to fight not to touch it. Actually, it was very difficult not to do many things._

_'_You don't want to kill her, Edward. You love Bella. If you killed her, you would become the monster you fear becoming so greatly.'

_I snapped my head up to growl at the short girl, not liking the thoughts she directed towards me. How would she know anything anyways?_

_"Leave him, Alice. Please." The girl - Bella; it suited her - said, her voice soft and sweet._

_"Don't you dare give up, Isabella Marie Swan!" For a short thing, the girl was rather imposing a figure._

_"I'm not." When the blond male hissed in pain as Victoria injured him, Bella added, "Help him."_

_Alice turned to do so, but sent one last thought at me._ 'Don't do something you'll regret Edward. She may allow you to kill her, but _you_ would find yourself terribly unhappy afterwards. I know; I've seen it.'

_I chose to ignore her, much more concerned with the woman under me. The scent of freesias and strawberries swamped my senses, enticing me, encouraging me to run my nose along the column of her neck, to the base of her throat. Everywhere we touched, sparks lit and raced to all my nerve endings, running in a steady current. I could feel all her soft curves against me; she was rather limp, but almost… forcefully so. As if she had to make herself that way. I couldn't find any one point of her to focus on, instead looking everywhere at once. I wanted… actually, I wasn't sure what I wanted. Everything and nothing, perhaps. _

_My skull buzzed uncomfortably, and I shook it, trying to make it stop. It didn't, but it did die down slightly. Her large eyes caught a gleam of something, almost pleading, but she didn't speak. _

_I couldn't stop myself from looking back to her lush lips, the rosy pink enticing. The buzzing turned into an uproar, and I shook my head hard once again. It did little this time to help._

_Her breathing turned as unsteady as my own was, and she swallowed thickly. Her eyes landed on my lips, the look in them growing more and more desperate and longing. A slight tinge of frustration added to them just sparked my curiosity even more. I strained myself to hear her, even though I was met only with resonating silence. It didn't stop me from-_

_As her eyes slipped closed, hiding the utter defeat in them, a faint, near inaudible whisper, begging, wanting, reached me, sounding much like her voice…. _Kiss me_. _

_Perhaps I imagined her mental voice finally reaching me from the deep, silent abyss of her thoughts. I no longer cared; I did as the thought - imaginary or real - wanted._

_I touched them softly at first; even like this, they were soft, giving, temptation of the sweetest sort. She tensed, just for a short few moments, then fell into a deep limp relaxation that was _not_ forced like the one before._

_I pulled back slightly, letting out a breath, feeling something click into place, align. She drew in a quiet, but sharp breath, then leaned up to make our lips meet once again. _

_The monster in me liked her, a lot, and though threatened by her, didn't want her dead just yet. It wanted to taste her more. Growling deeply, I made my way - forcefully - into her mouth. She didn't lie back and let me take total control; instead, she fought me every second. Since I had let myself touch her lips with mine, I also let my fingers feel her hair. It was as silky as I'd thought, and I fisted it in my hand. The monster liked this; it was in a controlling position, pinning her to the ground and holding on to her head in a way that allowed threat to her life. Kissing her, I was aware of nothing beyond us, the feelings and sparks flying between us, the noise of our unnecessary heavy breathing._

_I dragged my lips off of hers, and she whimpered, _fearfully_. The monster didn't mind this; it excited it. However, I wasn't so sure I did. _

_As a compromise between the two beings in me, I ignored it._

_I was drawn inexorably, inexplicably, to the space just behind her ear, making a sharp shudder hit her, then nibbled my way down her neck, breathing in deeply along the way to inhale as much of her scent as possible. She gasped, arching up into me, and then her hands lifted._

_The monster in me did not like that one bit, and pulled away, growling in warning. My hand tightened in her hair, pulling just the slightest. Her hands had dropped instantly, eyes wide in shock and realization of her wrong move, and when I tightened my grip in her hair, she lifted up her back - pressing into me even more - and lodged her small fair hands under it. Making herself even more vulnerable than before._

_It was like a breaking of the spell, though, pulling away and getting the barest hint of fresh air in me. There were more mental voices now, and I turned to stare at the fight. _

Even now, I couldn't quite say what brought me to stealing her away from there instead of just killing her. And I still couldn't find it in myself to get rid of her just yet. The small girl's thought, warning, kept ringing in my head. She had seemed so sure of herself, so positive of that outcome, that I felt unable to doubt her.

_"_Please, Edward."

I glanced over at her again.

Her large eyes beseeched me, begged and promised. "Don't go through Medford. It would be your death."

Glaring, I sharply turned away from the town, tires screeching, and raced back the way we'd come. I was unhappy though; I had my answer - or at least one she gave to me, and I could decide if it were true or not. She didn't want to go through that town because of me. It didn't explain exactly why she didn't want to be seen… unless she had friends there? Friends that would try to help her? Why would she give up a chance to free herself?

That question was right up there with why she didn't fight me when I could kill her right now.

I glanced over at her from the corners of my eyes, wondering. She had relaxed again, sitting upright and casually in her seat. A slight feeling of guilt coursed through me. Unprovoked, without reason, I had chained her like the threat she _should _present, but didn't. Growling unhappily, I sharply took the next turn off.

Her body tensed, fighting not to get too tossed about by my more reckless than usual driving. Which in the end only made me feel more guilty. When I stopped the car, I didn't look at her, simply got out and stomped over to her side. She glanced up through her thick lashes uneasily, guardedly, when I opened her door and reached in to pull her out.

"Stop looking at me like that," I muttered, feeling something akin to dislike and disgust knowing she thought of me like that. It didn't sit well with me, though I had no reason to care either way, really. But care I did, and I wasn't about to waste energy fighting it when it was something of little consequence so far.

She bit her lip, and looked down, which made me only more angry at myself. Did I have to make her think so little of me when she'd given me no reason to act this way?

"Why won't you fight me?"

If I couldn't hear her thoughts, the very least I could possibly attempt was asking her.

She glanced up, surprise flickering across her features before they turned into an unreadable mask. I felt displeasure at seeing that mask, and annoyance. _Why does she always bring that thing up when she doesn't want to let me in?_ I inwardly froze at the stray, frustrated thought. It made no sense; of course she wouldn't let me in, and yet I'd never seen that mask before. How could I? I'd only been with her for the time we'd been in the car. Yet the thought hinted to familiarity.

I walked… stalked, closer to her, backing her up against the car, pinning her in with my arms to prevent escape. Leaning down into her personal space, my nose a bare inch from hers, I asked her again. "Why won't you fight me? I could kill you _right this second_, yet I am getting the hint - and your short female friend said so in a very confident manner - that you wouldn't lift a finger against me." I tilted my head, and the tip of my nose brushed hers just slightly. "Is that so?"

She stared up into my eyes expressionlessly, then seemed to sag. "Yes. I wouldn't fight you."

The effect those words seemed to have on her was almost concerning. All fight, strength, seemed to leave her, any happy, light emotion drained away to leave defeated sorrow. It was easy to empathize with it, because it echoed the emotion I'd been feeling myself for the longest time. And unending, continuous sorrow, a dark cloud of night that seemed to have no end in sight, no sign of dawn approaching. Just defeated sorrow.

"Why?" I whispered, feeling my own emotion of grief that had been lingering inside of me for months now swell up. "Why would you let yourself be killed?"

She shrugged, still expressionless in her uniform sorrow. "I have no reason to live anymore. I've lost love, and I don't think I'll be getting it back."

I searched her face, almost desperately. "Your friend seemed to think that if I killed you, I would find reason to regret it. What do you think?"

She looked up, just slightly surprised. "I think I would hope you didn't. I wouldn't want you to feel so much pain on my part."

I leaned even farther in. "And why, Bella, would I feel grief, do you think?"

Her breathing was sparse and ragged, her gaze unfocused before she blinked rapidly and muttered, "Sorry, but you're not dazzling this answer out of me…."

Tilting my head, I focused more entirely on her eyes, hoping to find hint of her thoughts there. I listened briefly for them, but found nothing.

"Why shouldn't I kill you Bella?" I whispered, enjoying the feel of her name on my lips. After working so hard not to use it, it was practically a relief to do so. It felt like a breath of fresh air, like the cooling of the burn in my throat when I fed. I wanted nothing more than to say it again and again.

Her breathing had stopped altogether, held in, her body completely still. I couldn't stop my gaze from dropping to her lips once again, the taste of them still fresh in my mind.

"Tell me," I breathed, my lips brushing hers.

Her eyes fluttered, her body swayed forward just the slightest. It was enough; her lips connected fully with mine and I didn't waste much time in kissing her truly, feeling an indefinable _need_ to do so. She responded, the chains keeping her from moving her arms up, but I could feel them straining to do so. And I found I sort of wanted her to.

My fingers reached for the locks, the key sliding in soundlessly and turning. With a simple movement, they started falling away, and I helped her get them off completely without disconnecting our mouths.

Unintelligible murmurs left her lips, her body pressing closer and her hands rising to wrap around my neck. Briefly, I tensed, and she froze in turn, once again solid statue. I forced myself to relax, not really through kissing her yet -she was far too tempting. I could only hope she didn't kill me now that I set her free… but there was something in me that knew she wouldn't.

Her fingers were running through my hair, and I growled lowly in liking of the sensation. I felt her lips curve up, and she pulled back slightly, searching my eyes hopefully.

I don't know what she was looking for, but that deep sorrow came back, and she tried to pull away. I tightened my hold around her.

"Why?" I asked again.

She sighed, seemingly reluctant to share.

I unwound one arm to grab her chin in my fingers and force her eyes to meet mine. I stared deeply into them, willing her to answer me.

"Why won't I kill you Bella? Why won't you fight it?"

Almost helplessly, she whispered four words. "Because I love you."

3POV

The Cullens were gathered in the Denali home. The smaller family had left, because they felt this was a family matter for the Cullens alone, and wanted to give them space. They were in a small house of theirs not too far from the main home.

June watched them all silently. Bella had always said that you should observe and know as much as possible about your enemies _and_ allies before making a move.

"I don't get it!" Alice cried helplessly. "I _saw_ it happening perfectly. Bella and Edward would be together again, and Jasper said we should go home. But now, I can't see that happening anymore. I can't! It's gone, and I don't know if he'll - Edward - ever remember!"

Jasper wrapped his arms around her soothingly.

June finally spoke up. "Perhaps he's responding more slowly."

"What?" Alice asked, confused.

June shrugged. "I… I still don't know a lot about my power. Really. I know that I can control what the person does and doesn't remember, and if I work hard enough at it, I can implant a feeble memory. I did so to one of the underlings; he thought he got attacked by a duck." Her nose scrunched as if she couldn't believe why she would make him think that; why Aro would make her make him think that. "You and Bella remembered through triggers; Bella knew something was off because you told her it was, and she trusts you indubitably. You said that you always knew, shortly after you were changed, that you would be with Jasper? That it was the main force behind your actions until you found him?"

Alice nodded, her fingers lacing with Jasper's.

June shrugged again. "Well, perhaps even I couldn't erase that deep-set knowledge. But Edward… he believes he has no reason to trust any of you. I made him forget from the point the decided to go back to Carlisle and Esme so he wouldn't remember you, or Rosalie, or Emmett, or Jasper. And definitely not Bella. So he's more suspicious, more apt to fight the triggers. I think part of the way to remember is to _want_ to, be willing to remember, and he doesn't feel either. So he isn't remembering in the sudden rush you and Bella willed upon yourselves.

"But I also find it unlikely that he isn't finding himself remembering slowly. His actions in simply taking Bella instead of killing her - when she's an obvious and dangerous threat - point to him already slowly feeling the remnants of his memories. It may be that it takes him longer to recall anything, and that it will come to him in pieces instead of a flood.

"Or maybe he'll never remember. He was fighting against my work, unlike you and Bella. You were working _not_ to resist, I could feel it. And Bella _welcomed_ it. Not Edward. That might have a part in it as well.

"I might be able to undo what I've done, but I don't know." She sighed heavily. "I've never tried it. Right now, I'm just doing a lot of guessing work. And I think that if I forced him to remember, it might be more damaging than him doing so on his own. I mean, I already screwed with his head once; doing so again could do more harm than good, honestly. I'd leave that as a last resort.

"He might have just not received the right trigger yet. I _don't know_. We'll have to wait and see."

"I hate waiting," Emmett grumbled after a minute.

Rosalie nodded.

"Can't you do anything to perhaps find where they are, Alice?" Esme asked curiously.

Alice shrugged. "Not really. The plane they were going to take was to Portland, Oregon, but they instead took cars. I see every time they chose a new one, but not much more." She paused. "Though… I did see Edward turn around abruptly from a town, and Bella being relieved about it."

Jasper spoke softly. "Do you know what town?"

Alice closed her eyes, thinking back. "They were heading north on highway five. In Oregon…. Something with an 'M'."

Immediately, Jasper sat down at the laptop nearby and clacked away at the keys. Carlisle moved to look over his shoulder, but spoke without looking at Alice.

"Can you think of any reason Bella would want to avoid a town?"

Alice shrugged. "It could be somewhere she knows bad vamps are that want her dead, and she doesn't want to put Edward in danger. She could have friends there that she doesn't want hurting Edward. She's only concerned with Edward; she was completely willing to let him kill her."

Everyone winced at that.

June raised a brow, surprised Alice hadn't noticed. "Maybe she doesn't want Aro noticing. What if the town held an Informant, and she didn't want them telling Aro about Edward. Aro didn't want her to be with him again - he was threatening to kill him and all of you. Right now, with Alec and Demitri dead, she could tell him you and I died and you'd be able to live your life. I wouldn't be bothered by the Volturi any longer; but she still has to keep Edward safe."

Alice looked at June in surprise. "I don't know a lot of the Informants; I never needed to."

June shrugged. "Bella told me about the ones she used most. Where was she again?"

"Somewhere in Oregon. It started with an 'M'."

"Oregon, Oregon…" June muttered. "Portland is dead…. Next is lower Washington, but there's one closer to California…. In Medford. Parker."

Jasper spoke up. "Medford in on Five."

Esme was surprised. "She made him take a different route so this Parker wouldn't know she was with him?"

"Bella said Parker hates his job; he's paying off a debt for now, and that's it. He's highly suspicious, but is able to tell whenever a vampire gets within five miles of him. It's possible he already knew they were there. And he wouldn't tell Aro." June stared at Alice. "He might tell you, however, if you gave him reason enough to."

Alice nodded. "Right."

Rosalie opened her cell. "Number?"

June rattled it off, and Rosalie dialed, smirking. "Let's see him resist me," she murmured.

Emmett frowned unhappily and muttered something soundlessly.

"Hello?"

"Hello Parker," Rosalie spoke with smooth confidence. "How long ago did Bella near Medford?"

"Who is this?" he snapped suspiciously.

"Rosalie Hale Cullen. Her mechanic and sister-to-be. She's with Edward, my mind-reading brother, who doesn't recall a thing about her really and may or may not kill her and then go on a rampage when he remembers. Help us, and I'm sure we'd be able to manage to make Aro… _forgive_ your debt."

"How so?"

Rosalie smiled, slightly evilly. "Oh, well, see. We have a friend who can play mind games with him."

**Haha, Paker's back! lol. Well, this chapter is still working off of last chapters unexpectedness, so I can't say I have the best clear view of what's next chapter. But I hope you are enjoying it so far! Please review darlings!**


	13. Chapter 13: Moving Forward Bit by Bit

-1**Haha, okay hi there! Here's the next chapter. Thanks to .jro. for offering up ideas for it. I kind of took the one about the trigger. So be sure to thank her as well! I don't really know if I like this chapter much; it's a little rocky and skippy to me, really choppy I guess. I might go back and re-write it. Eh. **

**But I hope you all enjoy!**

BPOV

I was probably stupid for uttering that simple sentence, but it was hard to resist Edward when he stared into my eyes with such dazzling intensity, practically begging for an answer. So now I was simply sitting in the passenger seat of another car we had stolen, staring out the window, unwaveringly aware of his tension and anger next to me.

Really, when would I learn to keep my mouth shut and not spout stupidity before someone was ready to hear it?

But I was frustrated myself. Damn him! Why didn't he remember yet? My trigger was him, Alice's was Jasper… so wouldn't I logically be his? Why didn't he remember too? Was I not good enough for him to remember everything for? _What would it take?!_

A flash of red and blue lights brightened the night behind us, and with a sigh, Edward slowed and pulled to the side of the road. I watched him from the corner of my eye, but continued to stare away. My frustration and embarrassment kept me from being able to look at him without threat of yelling like a psycho.

"License and registration please," the officer said in a bored tone.

Edward stiffened, and I snorted quietly as I realized he didn't have any. He shot me a glare, so I smirked and opened the door of the car. I had dazzled my way out of more tickets than I could remember, but the two forefront ones were the ones I got out of when I was rushing to save Edward. Which, in the end, was pointless, because I lost and failed him anyways.

Slamming the door - Edward hated that, I thought with a smirk - I sauntered past the front of the car next to the police man. He glanced up from the window Edward was at just as I entered the headlight closest to him, and his eyes didn't waver from my movements as I completed my trip right up next to him.

Biting my bottom lip, I offered a small, shy smile up at him through my lashes, reaching up one hand to twirl a piece of hair around the tip of my finger.

"Good evening, Officer."

He cleared his throat, quiet enough that a human likely wouldn't have heard him, but I did clear as day. "Good evening, miss."

"It's Bella, please." I tiled my head to the side, smiling a little more boldly and meeting his eyes more squarely. "I was wondering…." I stopped, chewing my lip again, and looking down at the ground, shifting my weight and crossing one foot over the other.

"Yes?" he said kindly, and also a little eagerly.

"You see," I whispered, leaning closer. A strategic move that offered up a view of my cleavage and seemed flirtatious and conspiring; secrets with a beautiful woman always seemed to get to a man. "You see, I was driving, but, well, I'm afraid to drive at night." When I as human, it had been a problem. I just didn't like driving in the dark, which had made my mom laugh at me. "Edward, my friend there, decided to help me out, even though he didn't bring his license, and drive me the short ways home. We're almost there, and I've had such a long day…. Do you think you could pardon us? Just this once?"

He looked dubious, so I pouted, widening my eyes into a pleading expression, letting my lips pout just a little. He caved, and I inwardly smirked and did a happy, smug dance, laughing deviously.

"Oh, alright. Sure thing… Bella. But don't let it happen again. He should have his license next time, or you call a cab."

"Thank you," I said, smiling largely, leaning forward to give him a hug. He froze, the hidden instinct in him recognizing the predator in me, and that battling with the fact that I was gorgeous as a vampire, and he probably found me attractive.

When I pulled away, he led me back to my car door, opening it for me and holding my hand as I sat down. I smiled again at him as he closed the door, and waved as we drove away, smiling still as I sat back down. I was feeling rather smug and… avenged. It was sort of like payback for Tanya all that long time ago.

Edward waited until the officer was long gone, then yanked the car onto the side of the road, glaring at me as it came to a complete stop.

"What was that?"

I raised a brow. "You mean you _wanted_ to be taken to the station for not having a license or registration for a stolen car? I'm sure we can fix-"

He grabbed my arm and pulled me close up against him. "Not _that_. What were you doing?"

I raised a brow, slightly confused, but pretty sure I knew what he was hinting at.

"Uh… thanking him?"

"You don't thank people like that unless…" he hissed lowly, then trailed off.

"Unless…? What?"

He narrowed his eyes on me. "You're enjoying this." He let go of my arm as he said it.

I leaned back in my seat, smirking smugly and crossing my arms in front of my chest. "So what if I am."

He muttered something, and I shot upright again, glaring. "What did you just say?" I hissed threateningly.

He glared. "You heard me. If you apparently love me so damn much, why are you off flirting with everyone we come by? You must be a fickle thing."

My fists clenched. "Next time you need help," I said dangerously low. "I won't offer any. You can take care of it yourself. Every fesso time I try to help you, it either pisses you off, or ruins your life and I'm fed up with it!"

His head cocked, a frown on his face. "Oh?"

I threw myself back in the seat, angrily pouting out the window. "I'm not elaborating."

He turned off the car. "Then we're not moving."

"Fine." I said, keeping my gaze away from him. If he were dazzling me, I'd likely break before I wanted to.

I think about an hour passed before either of us spoke again.

"Bella?"

Reluctantly, I turned to him. It was hard not to, though, since I was curious about his cautious tone.

He was running a hand through that hair, and I swallowed thickly, feeling the tightening sensation that was about as close to crying as I could get - besides dry sobs. I wanted him to remember me _so much_….

"I'm… sorry. For upsetting you. I had no right to say such rude accusations."

I shrugged, turning back around to face out the window.

His hand closed around my arm, turning me to face him again. "I really am." His eyes searched mine, dark and nearly black with thirst.

"You need to feed," I said, looking away from his beseeching eyes. I wanted a different subject, because he reminded me so much of the old Edward like this.

He pulled back slightly, a little surprised I guessed from the look on his face. Then it turned thoughtful. "So are you."

I shrugged again. Safe, non-verbal answers, those were good.

He sighed, sitting back in his seat. My skin cried out at the lose of contact.

"I… I'm trying something new."

My curiosity raised it's head again, as did hope, the stupid thing. Always setting itself up for disappointment.

"Maybe I am too." I said pointedly, tossing my hair over one shoulder and folding my arms stubbornly. Now that I _remembered_ being vegetarian, well, I wasn't going to go back to being on a 'natural diet' as Aro so kindly put it. I liked being weird, and besides - anything that annoyed Aro was good in my book.

Edward stared at me with suspicion and a disbelieving 'yeah, sure' sort of look, and I rolled my eyes, resisting the urge to stick my tongue out at him.

"Whatever," I muttered, "Just get us moving again."

He turned the key, and the car started, but then he just let it sit there, staring off into space. I glanced at him in interest, wondering what was with the delay, and suddenly he turned around, _nearly _making me jump. Ah, the training Marcus bestowed upon me; so useful.

"I really am sorry Bella. Everyone is so _sure_ that I should know things that I can't recall and…" He stopped as frustration became apparent on his face, but then it saddened again. "I'm just sorry. I don't know if you are right or not yet, but I'm sorry either way. I can't be making life easy for you right now."

I shrugged. "Actually, this kind of helps a bit. Maybe Aro will think I died, which would be a great relief. It's not like he could send Demetri looking anymore, cause he's dead. Not that that would work, with my mental shields-"

"What?"

I blinked, staring at him, then muttered, "Right. Don't remember that." Louder, I said, "You knew this before. It's why you can't hear my thoughts, because the barricade just seems to block gifts like that - kinds that use the mind - naturally. The others, I have to focus on blocking. Which hints at me being able to have more control over it if I work at it - I let June into my mind to make me forget."

He had the most lost, confused look on his face, it was rather adorable.

Snickering, I said, "June is the reason you can't remember. Well, really it's my fault, but I mean that she's the how for the memories being gone. In the Volturi, we said she played mind games, because she messes with your head. Removes memories. Aro didn't want you coming and freeing me or something ridiculous like that, you said yourself you weren't letting me go, so he had June make you forget and send you with fesso Victoria. Then Alice popped up - my short friend; she's you "adopted sister" - and she made some kind of deal with Aro and let June make her forget. A few weeks later, I went and _asked_ June to make me forget."

Unconsciously, I wrapped my arms around my middle, remembering the pain sharply and vividly. I'd felt so disconnected from the world, and I'd given in to it for a while, letting it consume me. Then I'd let it torture me, making sure I felt it poignantly; I'd deserved that and more, and probably still did. But it had always been too much, and I knew that if I stayed the way I was, I would lose my mind, and that would make it pointless. I had to stay somehow, just in case one day things would work out for Alice, or Edward. I had to make sure they got their lives back, and to do that, I had to be alive. But to stay alive, I had to forget that I needed to get their lives back. It had made sense to my half-insane mind at the time, but now it simply made no sense. Still, I'd gone to June to beg for her to make me forget as well, and she had. Now that I could remember everything, I realized I hadn't been…. The pain had still been there, but muted, blocked. Just a constant hum in the background that I'd grown progressively used to. I'd still been empty, but I hadn't realized it, because I didn't remember what it felt like to be whole and full of love. It had been a bittersweet relief.

Edward's hand tugged at my arm, dragging me out of my thoughts and back to the car we were in, which was still on the side of the road, engine idling. Concern shone out of his eyes, for the girl he didn't really remember, but apparently found attractive enough to make out with in public every few days. Yep. Great.

"Are you alright?"

I shook my head, pulling away from him. The pain was back again. At least Alice was back with Jasper, I consoled myself, and I was at least with Edward. Even if he never remembered me, it was more than I'd ever expected to happen.

We drove in silence for the rest of the night, and in the morning, we slipped into a hotel room just as the first light of dawn snuck over the horizon. I walked over to the bed and sat down, while Edward walked mutely into the bathroom. I listened to the shower water start, and felt the slowly progressive steaming of the air seeping in from the cracks around the door. Biting my lip, I reached over to the phone in the room, dialing the number one digit at a time and then slowly bringing it to my ear.

Half the first ring went by before I heard her voice.

"Bella! Finally, some form of contact."

Mentally, I was keeping track of the time so the wouldn't be able to track the call. I wanted more time alone with Edward, just the two of us. I wanted him to remember because of me, not anyone else, no matter how selfish that sounded. Thankfully, we were both vampires and could speed talk like no one else.

"Hey Alice. Are you and Jasper with the rest of the Cullens yet?"

"Yeah, say hi everyone."

"BELLA!" I laughed as I heard Emmett's big boom of a greeting, drowning out the other, more muted ones.

"Your cars are in our garage by the way," Rose added.

I smiled, genuinely pleased to hear about my babies. "Thank you."

"Where are you two? Are you okay?"

"Hunky-dory," I said dryly. "We're safe."

"Well that's great, but _where_ are you?"

"A hotel." I smirked as I said it.

They argued with me for a while, trying to convince me to tell them _something_ more helpful, and I noted that I'd have to hand up soon.

"Listen, I love you all, really, you're all amazing, but I have to hang up now. Maybe I'll call later."

As I hung up, Edward stepped out of the shower, a dark frown on his face. "What-"

"Oh, hush," I said, annoyed. "I didn't keep them on the phone long enough to trace the call, and they would only worry more unless I called to calm them somewhat. I'm sure Esme and Carlisle were glad to hear you hadn't killed me yet, since you'd probably go into a depression if you were ever to remember."

He glared at me, and I knew I had annoyed him, which pleased me perversely. I should be wanting to make him happy, treating him nicely since he couldn't remember, but that was part of the reason I was so ticked off. That, and we'd always for the few months we'd known each other, been mocking.

Rolling my eyes, I got up and started to walk to the bathroom for my own shower, when Edward stalked towards me, trapping me against the wall between his arms. Okay, so I _let_ him trap me; he was kind of sexy when he was like this, and I was gathering teasing ammunition for when he _did_ remember - because he would, dammit!

His head dipped down, a frown between his brows. "Carlisle… and Esme. I remember them, but the other voices were…. No, I don't have names for them."

I thought quickly over the wording of that. "But did they sound familiar?" I asked eagerly.

Edward frowned more deeply at me, unpleased. I, on the other hand, felt like dancing around the room.

"They _did_!" I rejoiced. "You must remember something, at least subconsciously. They were Rose and Emmett, and Alice of course, but you semi-met her already."

"I don't know who-"

"Yes, I've gathered you don't remember them by much, but hey, it's progress."

"You're enjoying whatever you think is wrong with me, aren't you?"

I smirked, shrugging. "Maybe."

Unfortunately for me, he pushed away, pacing around the room with unleashed energy. I took a quick shower, then came out, towel drying my wet hair and falling onto the bed.

"I wonder if anything good is on TV…" I mused.

Edward glanced over at me, but then resumed pacing. I flipped boredly through the channels and was about to give up until I froze on one, pain lancing through my unbeating heart.

Edward paused to look at me again, and then he was next to me, hands tentatively reaching out towards me, stopping maybe an inch from my skin. "What is it?"

I shook my head hard. "Aaron loved this movie; and…." I swallowed, giving a soft dry sob. I thought I was stronger than this, but apparently not. "It was… never mind," I said quickly, trying to change the channel. It didn't help that it was actually at the scene just before the spot where we'd kissed for the first time. Why, oh _why, _had Blade Trinity needed to be on? We'd - Edward and I - had spent the past few days in an uneasy truce of sorts, and I was pushing the limits earlier in the night; now I was dry-dobbing softly - sort of - over a fesso movie.

Edward took the remote from me and glanced up at the movie, just as Hannibal (he was still hot) and the wonderful scene that brought us together played. His eyes were glued to it, and I couldn't help but watch him, wishing he would remember. I should have asked Alice to speak to June. I'd heard her say hi in the background; maybe she knew what was up with Edward. The pain was already starting to kill me again. I wanted to drive off a cliff, but it wouldn't do me any good, being a vampire and indestructible and all.

I glanced down at the slightly scratchy comforter under me, following the pattern of the yarn or whatever used to make it, hoping to distract myself from the pain by concentrating entirely on something mundane. Over, under, over, under, criss, cross, criss, cross.

"Bella?"

I glanced up, almost jerking back at the shock of him being inches from me. Were his eyes darker, or was it just me?

His head tilted, the strangest look in his eyes…. "Why does the movie upset you?"

I shook my head looking away as the pain stabbed at me viciously. "It doesn't. It's nothing."

My eyes shot forward, and I leaned back, eyes widening as _he _leaned closer, his lips close to mine, his hand brushing back a strand of hair. "Are you sure?"

If possible, my eyes widened even more. Did he…? I swallowed. "Uh…." The breathed, confused sound slipped past my parted lips as my thoughts raced. I wanted to ask if he thought he was being funny, because this wasn't at all a laughing matter. If he did remember, why was he acting like he didn't? And if he really didn't, why the hell was he making me think he might?

His lips touched mine, tentatively, and I whimpered, wanting to cry so much. Was he trying to kill me through this pain? Was that what he was getting at? Oh, but what a way to die. It hurt yes, but if I got to keep kissing him, was it really that bad? Death by kissing. Ha.

His hand - the one that had brushed my hair - pulled my jaw towards him some more, and the other snaked around my waist. It was almost like deja vu, except Edward didn't remember me, was sort of kidnapping me right now, and may or may not be trying to kill me by doing this.

He pulled me down off the edge of the bed, into his lap, and I helplessly reached up to touch the silky bronze of his hair. I kept kissing him until it started to hurt to much, and then I turned my face away, trying not to show any weakness by stopping my breathing. Maybe that would stop the dry sobs I could feel coming up.

"Bella?"

I tried to pull out of his arms, shaking my head angrily. I couldn't free myself from him, though, which was surprising. I was supposed to be stronger as a Volturi member; faster, better. Yet even though I truly was fighting against him, I couldn't get free. And I had to… being this close to him and knowing he didn't remember me hurt horribly.

"Bella. Bella, Bella!" He grabbed my upper arms tightly in his hands and shook me slightly, glaring. "Stop that. What-"

"Let me go." I hissed. I wasn't in the mood for the games we'd been playing, dancing around each other, me remembering and him not. This was no longer at all interesting. One movie had ruined it all. And not even the whole movie, just one little scene that reminded me of practically a year ago.

"Just answer my question and I will!" he snapped, still glaring.

"Fine!"

He was breathing heavily, his eyes a little frantic. "I… I have to be going crazy," he muttered lowly, letting go of one arm to pinch the bridge of his nose.

I pulled out of his lap, leaning my back against the wall and wrapping my arms around me.

He looked up again. "We… kissed before."

I rolled my eyes. "No duh. Really, if-"

"During that movie."

I froze, staring at him with wide eyes. I was afraid to hope, but… there was no way for him to know that and not remember. Right? _Right?_ I desperately wanted it to be true, but….

He scooted closer to me, eyes a little more crazed. "Right? We… we did kiss during that part of the movie, right? And you thought Hannibal was hot, but not as hot as me, and-"

I clapped my hands over my ears. "Shut up!"

He froze, looking shocked. Even with my hands pressed over my ears, my hearing was good enough to pick up his words. "Isn't this what you wanted? Me to remember something?"

I was shaking, and I didn't like it. It made me feel weak, and that was something that was intolerable. But it was hard to stop; I was feeling sick with fear that this was all unreal, and I was somehow dreaming, and Edward really didn't remember something about us.

He dropped his head into his hands, shaking it slowly. "I… it's fuzzy. But it felt so… real." He looked up at me, desolation in his eyes. "I really did know you, didn't I?"

Slowly, I nodded, unable to look away from him.

"And we were… close."

Again, I simply nodded.

He nodded as well, then moved gradually until he was sitting next to me at the wall. After a time, he spoke again. "It bothers you, doesn't it?"

I raised a brow, but didn't look at him, didn't look away from the wall straight in front of me.

"That I can't remember everything."

I shrugged, because honestly, I wasn't sure. I was so joyful that he remembered _something_ that made it obvious I wasn't lying; now he would be very unlikely to kill me. But it also hurt so much. Why didn't he really remember? Would he _ever_ really remember, or was he doomed to only know he should know something and couldn't?

"It's not your fault."

I whipped my head around to stare at him at that. "What?"

He glanced down at me, smiling slightly. "Earlier. You said it was your fault I don't remember, and that you ruin my life or some such nonsense when you try to help. That's untrue." He said it so surely, as if he were stating a perfectly well-known fact.

I snorted. "Yeah. How can you know that when you don't remember much of anything?"

He stared. "Because I can feel it's true."

I looked away, shaking my head. "You're wrong. What I said is the truth, and you'll remember that soon enough. You have to," I added softly.

His arms slipped slowly over my shoulder. "I don't remember anything beyond what I did earlier, but things… feel right, or wrong. They always have. I knew you wouldn't kill me which is part of why I stole you away instead of killing you. And… I just couldn't. It made me terrified just to think of it." He pulled me closer, pressing his lips into my hair. The simply act nearly made me shudder in pain. How could he speak so lightly of what had happened, and treat me so kindly after it.

"Bella?"

I sighed before speaking. "Yes?"

"Can…. What made you remember?"

"You." I murmured.

"And Alice?" he asked after a moment.

"Jasper." I said monotonously.

He was quiet for a while. "If I see other things - like the movie - from the time I don't remember, perhaps… it will help speed up my own memory."

I shrugged. "It might. I don't know."

He sighed heavily. "Please stop beating yourself up, Bella."

I started to shrug away from him, but he wrapped his other arm around me and pulled me into his lap. "Tell me."

I frowned at the unexpected command. "Tell you what?"

"Everything from when we first met on to when Aro intervened."

I sighed. "Edward-"

He put a finger over my lips. I glanced quickly down at the finger, then back up in his eyes.

"Just tell me, Bella."

Sighing, I closed my eyes and gave in to the urge I had been fighting to lean into his touch. He wrapped his arms around me and cradled me to his chest as if it were natural, which I doubted was really true. He had to be at least somewhat confused by all this, somewhat uncomfortable and uneasy.

"I guess it started at lunch…."

**There ya go, Edward remembers one little itty bitty teeny tiny piece of his life. In case you didn't pick it up, it was the chapter of Dusk called Movies and Phone Calls, where Bella fans herself and says Hannibal is hot and Edward does his little "how hot" thing. It's funny; I love to go back and reread it, so you can too! He echoes the situation to see her reactions, if you didn't notice.**

**Please review!**


	14. Chapter 14: They're Not WHAT?

-1**Okay, so I have been slightly distracted with school work, and this chapter is rather choppy, because well, honestly? I was suffering a slight case of writer's block. I'd start one person's POV, get stuck, change it, get stuck, change it again, sludge through…. Gah. Not fun. **

**But I hope you all still enjoy it!**

BPOV

Neither of us were speaking.

When I had finally finished - hours later - with my telling what I could of what had happened since we met, Edward had sat silently for a while, then rose and paced at the other side of the room. I didn't let him see how much that hurt, because heck, I was Bella of the Volturi, Best of the Best, and I shouldn't _feel_ in _general_, dammit!

The fact of the matter was, I did. And there was nothing I could do to change that short of…. Nope. Nothing. Especially when it came to Edward.

And already it was nearing twilight, when we could leave this stuffy, too-small room.

I was restless, though. Everyone was up in at the Denali's place, and now that Edward knew what was what, I wanted to get back to them. Maybe his whole family would spark his memory strongly enough to bring it back in a rush. And then I could go take care of Chelsea, tell Aro Alice, Demetri, Alec, Chelsea, and June had all died, tell him he owed me a long vacation, fake my death, and finally live in peace.

_Yeah_, I added mockingly in my thoughts; _And maybe the whole world is color-blind and the sky is actually fuchsia. _

Still, I wanted to get Edward to his family. A year without them had probably been tough whether he knew it or not, and a year without him had been tough on them as well. Reuniting time was long since past.

"Edward," I said, rising fluidly.

He stopped pacing and glanced at me.

I sighed. "We should head up to Alaska. Your family is up there, and I'm sure they're eager to make sure you're alright themselves."

He ran a hand through his hair, and nodded vaguely. "Okay. Alright."

I watched him for a moment, then slowly smiled. "You're nervous, aren't you?"

His eyes snapped onto me, and I snickered, realizing I was right. He rolled his eyes and threw the car keys in my face. I caught them just in time, smirking at him from around my hand. "Missed."

Giving his head a slight shake, Edward turned and walked out the motel door. I glared as I saw small orange tints just barely dance off his skin, but not enough that anyone would really notice, if they were human. If for some inconceivable reason they did, they would probably end up contributing it to a trick of the light.

I followed him out, getting into the car. It started smoothly, and I pulled back onto the street, quickly picking up as much speed as I could, frowning when I wanted to go faster and couldn't; the whine of the engine was telling me I was pushing it too far already.

Smirking, I turned to Edward. "How would you mind a little detour?"

3rd POV

"What do you mean," Alice asked slowly, "That she's not actually dead?"

Under the outraged glare, Emmett shifted uneasily. Rose glared back at Alice. "What we mean is, obviously no one set the pieces on fire, because there was no signs of smoke or anything. And the Denalis would have noticed it because they were in the area when it happened. It makes sense, Alice. Cate and Felix are out there somewhere, Chelsea goes evil…. Why would she risk such a confrontation unless she knew the last people who did lived past it?"

Alice shrugged. "How am I supposed to know?"

Jasper rubbed her shoulders. "Even it we're not sure if they're dead, we should tell Bella. She needs to know those kinds of things, especially since they're all after her."

"That would be great," Rosalie said sarcastically, "If we knew how to reach her."

Alice looked ahead into the future, her eyes going slightly glassy. Then she grinned. "They're going home. We'll call them when they get there."

Esme walked into the room. "They're going home? When you call them, ask them to simply tell anyone who sees them that they're visiting from Los Angeles, so that they know the story and don't arouse suspicion."

Jasper nodded. "Of course, Esme."

EPOV

Bella drove as fast as she could, pushing the car to and past it's limits. It broke down a little past the border of Washington, which led to a lot of cursing on her part, the rain coming down around us and drenching her clothes. She glared at the sky, hands on her hips, as if it had done this on purpose, knowing she wouldn't like it.

"Why don't we simply run?"

She snapped her glare onto me. "Fine. We'll run in the rain. And when Alice gets mad that the clothes she bought me are ruined, I'll tell her it was all your idea."

From what I'd seen of the small pixie, and from what Bella had told me, it didn't sound like a good idea. But I shrugged, because would she really hurt me if I didn't remember?

Bella's look said probably.

We began running, and I enjoyed the freedom of having nothing to hold back. The air forced past us because of our rapid pace forced my hair flat back, messing it even more, and I glanced over at Bella, watching the way it threw her's back in a wild stream. She was keeping up with me, but I wasn't going quite as fast as I could.

A few hours later, we were slowing down and I let Bella pull ahead, since she would know where to go unlike me. A sour churning started low in my insides, and I frowned. I didn't like knowing that I was missing out on so much that I should know but didn't. I wanted to remember, which is why I had thought Bella's detour a good idea. She wanted her cars; I wanted the chance to maybe remember more of my life.

We leapt across a river and then stopped. I looked around, feeling something close to déjà vu but unable to pin exactly what brought it about. A large stretch of tree-free land was in front of me, the grass overgrown. The back wall of a house was visible, all glass, and I could see inside; furniture was covered with white cloths, but it was all clean, all three stories of it. Slowly, I walked forward, and Bella followed, keeping just behind me.

We walked in - the door was unlocked - and I looked around, trailing a hand over things as I passed them. I only glanced around the ground floor, then trailed up the staircase to the second. I looked through all the rooms, admiring the office space with paintings covering one wall; small images flashed across my mind's eye as I stared at them, small snippets of stories to accompany them.

Up the stairs to the third floor, and then the door at the end. I paused, knowing for sure that I was going to enter my room. Bella came up behind me, taking my hand and wrapping both of her's around it. When she squeezed comfortingly, I glanced down at her, and she smiled.

I looked around the room, noting the large stereo system, the wall of CDs, the black couch. Cautiously, I walked in further, taking it all in, remembering small, inconsequential details. Nothing important or life-changing. The last CD I'd listened to was Debussy. The keys to my Volvo were on the dresser. Bella had only been in here once before. My CD collection was organized by year, then preference.

Letting go of my hand, Bella walked over to where my keys were, grabbed them, and tossed them to me before grabbing another set that I didn't recall being there before.

"Mine," she answered at my questioning look. I nodded once, looking around the room again.

The piano.

Turning, I walked out of the room, down the stairs back into the living room and over to the raised dias where a shrouded object stood. Gently, I pulled the white cloth away, smiling as the piano was revealed. The tune stuck in my head insisted on being played, and I saw no reason not to. Setting the keys on top of the shiny black surface, I sat at the bench, running my fingers along the smooth keys.

Bella walked over, her head tilted. "Are you gonna play for me now?"

I grinned at her, admiring the way the lights in the house shone on her hair. I remembered how it looked in the late evening sun, small sparks of red lighting it. She glanced unconsciously down at her feet as she stepped onto the dias, and sat next to me. I had a short flash of an image of her watching her feet as she walked down the staircase.

"Why do you pay attention to where you're stepping all the time?"

She looked at me in surprise, then frowned, shrugging. "I was clumsy as a human. I guess it's something that subconsciously carried over."

Chuckling, I turned back to the piano, settling my fingers against the keys. This felt familiar, right; it seemed as if my fingers naturally knew exactly where to go and how to move, and the notes of the melody rose up around us, filling the silence of the long-empty house. Bella's eyes slipped closed and she smiled slightly as I continued to play, watching her instead of my fingers. She didn't move until the song ended, and then she slowly took her time in looking back at me.

"We should probably go hunt before we leave again." she whispered.

"Okay." I rose, holding out a hand to help her up - not that it was necessary or anything. She smiled as she took it, glancing down and I could just imagine her blushing. It made me smirk, and I led the way outside once again, glancing around at the overcast weather. Perfect place to live as a vampire, really. Startlingly perfect.

"Come on," Bella said, tugging my hand. I started running behind her, not letting go of her fingers. "We _could_ go somewhere where large game is easier to find, but I'm more for speed and efficiency right now, so we can simply find a deer or something."

I shrugged. "Whichever."

Bella glanced back at me, smiling. "What? No demanding mountain lions?"

I frowned, thinking how odd that was. "No; why?"

"Because that's your favorite."

I raised my brows. "Oh." I hadn't really developed a favorite by the time I left Carlisle, but apparently once I'd… returned, I had. Mountain lions… huh.

Laughing, she looked forward again and tugged me in a new direction.

The hunt was rather quick. We came across a herd of deer about twenty minutes after the short conversation, and easily made quick work of two of them. I had become reaccustomed to feeding from people, so the deer tasted dried than normal, even less flavorful and more bland, but I forced myself to tolerate it and not wish I were instead feeding from a human.

Bella's eyes were closer to a orange-gold now, and I was sure mine looked the same. We'd both waited so long to feed, most of the human blood lingering in our systems had gone, the little left having a small effect on the color of our eyes. We headed back to the house, and just as Bella shut the door behind us, the phone rang.

I picked it up, since I was closer and this was technically my house.

"Hello?"

"Hey Edward! Your room hasn't been touched apparently since we all disappeared, which means all your clothes are up there. Take a shower and change, and make Bella do the same; Rose said she could borrow some of her clothes if she wanted. Oh, no, wait; I think I still have some of her things from when we went shopping in my room. There should be three bags at the front left of my closet, so tell her to look there. Anyways, if any humans see you, tell them you and Bella are simply visiting from Los Angeles, because that's where everyone thinks we moved. And try to hurry up; I see you and Bella getting here by Wednesday, but try to make it Tuesday if you can. And I need to speak with Bella, so hand the phone over to her and take your shower now."

I blinked rapidly a few times, then sighed, running my free hand through my hair. "What don't you obviously want me to hear?"

She tsked impatiently. "Just do it, Edward. Or I'll take you shopping as some re-bonding time when you get here."

I winced, actually remembering the torture of shopping with Alice, and quickly passed the phone off to Bella. "Here. She wants to tell you something top secret. And your clothes are in bags in the front left of her closet."

Turning, I wandered back up the stairs to the bathroom connected to my room. I paused once inside, forcing myself not to listen to Bella's and Alice's conversation; though, Alice being psychic and all probably was able to see that I wasn't showering yet and would hold off saying whatever it was she didn't want me to know until I was in the shower.

Grabbing a change of clothes, I quickly made my way into the bathroom and got into the heated water of the shower. A few more sparse memories or remembrances came to me for the time I was in there, and by the time I stepped out, changed, and towel-dried my hair, I was feeling pretty confident about my road to recovery.

Until I saw the fury on Bella's face. Her hair was softly waving, and she smelled of soap and shampoo, meaning she had snuck in a shower while I had mine. The clothes she was wearing were nice, but casual, just like Bella herself.

Except for the murderous look on her face.

"Bella," I said worriedly, stepping forward and reaching out for her. "Bella, what's wrong?"

She glared curiously. "They're still alive. Cate and Felix didn't die, they're alive. They've _been_ alive since we were separated. I never noticed, one because I didn't remember, and two because I pretty much shut down once you passed out from June's power. I didn't even _think_ about the fact that no one set the place on fire and burned the pieces." She shook her head, pacing slightly. "We have to find them again, kill them. I can't let them live after all they've gotten away with!"

I wrapped my arms around her, resting my chin on top of her head, wishing there was more I could do or say. She slumped, her face buried into my shoulder; I liked the feeling of her in my arms. It felt natural, as if it were something that was supposed to be. I had seen on her face earlier, when we were in that hotel, that she was suspicious of my not really doing this because it felt right, but because I thought I had to, but she was wrong. She belonged in my arms, and I planned on doing everything in my power to keep her there.

I pulled back slightly, reaching one hand up to tilt her chin so I could stare into her eyes. "Hey, don't worry. They're expecting me to still not remember, and you to think they're dead. That gives us an advantage, yeah? Plus, Alice is psychic, Jasper will be willing to help, Emmett would do it for fun, and the rest of the family would do anything for us. And I can read minds, so they can't make a move without my knowing of it."

"When you get close enough," she snorted, rolling her eyes.

Chuckling, I pecked her lips. "Smart alec."

She shrugged, smirking up at me. "What can I say? I defy authority."

"Let's go. Alice wants us there by Tuesday."

Bella rolled her eyes, but grabbed both our keys from the piano. She tossed mine to me, then grinned over her shoulder as she sauntered into the garage. "Race you, Cullen."

I grinned, and quickly moved after her, laughing as we both slipped into our cars - me my Volvo, and Bella her Lexus. "You're on," I told her over the growling rumble of our engines.

She laughed, and then the sound faded to background noise as we peeled out of the garage, rubber burning slightly.

I looked around the Volvo, grinning as a feeling of familiarity and comfort came over me. Oh, yeah. I had missed my Volvo.

Now to win _this_ race, without cheating.

**Yeah, I know, seriously short, right? But the action SHOULD be coming back pretty soon, one or three chapters I think. Review please? **


	15. Chapter 15: Deals and Plans

**Sorry it is so late guys! My schedule got swamped, and writer's block was a drag, and I still don't think this chapter is good enough, but I can't get it much better at the moment. **

My fingers tapped against the steering wheel with excess energy, anxiety, and of course, anger. Cate and Felix were alive, Chelsea was evil maniac, and we still had that group in the south to deal with. Did it ever occur to the world, or the Fates, or whoever was running this joint that I'd like some down time not filled with running all over trying to stay alive? It wasn't like all this was exactly _fun_.

My cell began to ring, and I snatched it up, snapping out a hello.

"What crawled up your ass and died?" Jane drawled sarcastically.

I let out a harsh laugh. "What do you want, pipsqueak." I was so not in the mood to deal with _any_ of the Volturi, since they had _all_ known about me.

"Aro's freakin'. We actually managed to drag him from the computer long enough to let him know we hadn't heard from any of you for a good couple days. We called Demetri and Alec, whose phones immediately went to terminated. Chelsea, June, and Alice didn't pick up. You're the only one to do so. So talk."

I used my knee to steer, rubbing my forehead with my free hand. "They're all dead. I'm all that's left. Actually, Chelsea's alive as well, but she's evil. June sent me a short call before it was cut off letting me know. Chelsea is in league with the SNVs we were sent to terminate down in the south, and it-" I shut my mouth sharply, inwardly slapping and cursing myself fluently in multiple languages. I had almost let it slip that I knew more than I should.

Jane's voice was suspicious. "And it what, Bella?"

I took a deep breath. "And it seems that there may be something of importance to do with her operations up in Canada," I lied fluently. Lies sounded so much better when you mixed them with the truth.

She didn't answer for a long moment. "Backup?"

I shrugged. "I've got someone who may be connected to an accomplice of hers with me. I've had him checked out, and he's clean. Figured that if push comes to shove, we can kill him as well. No one would know any better, right?"

"Right," she finally said. "Aro wants daily reports."

Rolling my eyes, I said, "Got it," and hunt up, throwing my cell onto the seat next to me. Dumb Volturi; I seriously needed out. My mind skimmed through ideas on how exactly to do so, but nothing was sure-fire, which is what I wanted. Why go through something elaborate when it might not work? That'd just be a waste of time and effort.

I placed my hands back on the wheel and yanked it over to the side, just barely making the turn off that would lead me to that dumb cabin. No offense to the Cullens or the Denalis, but _I_ wanted to see for myself that Cate and Felix were alive. Edward's Volvo followed behind me easily, not even a hint of hesitation in his movements.

Probably, I thought, Edward shouldn't trust me so well. I mean, all the time we'd known each other, most of it had been lies and deceit and hardly living. I was dangerous, whether because of my connections to the Volturi or because of my having to kill him. I groaned loudly, resisting the urge to bang my head against something. I needed to stop thinking. In general.

I stopped in front of the cabin some time later, and got out, looking at the perfectly unharmed structure and propping my hands on my hips. I took a deep breath of the air, and walked inside, still breathing in deeply. I searched every inch of the place for any signs of burning, but didn't see any. Signs of the fight were still there - the knocked out back wall, the broken chair, the torn up floor boards and walls - but of the two I'd shredded being burned? Nothing.

"Vaffanculo, Aro," I swore under my breath, whipping around.

Edward raised a brow as I stopped short, eyes wide. I hadn't heard him come in behind me, and here he was, mere inches away. Talk about unexpected.

He sounded amused. "If I remember correctly, did you just-"

"Yes," I snapped irritably. "Is there a problem with swearing?"

"No, no, not at all," he said, holding up his hands, eyes dancing with amusement.

"Shut up," I muttered, slipping around him. I could hear him follow me back outside, and I crossed my arms, glaring around. "They didn't burn them, the fessa bastards. Now those two are running around picking daisies and plotting how to kill me, and I'm left having to pretend I don't remember anything about my time in Forks!" Just as I finished my little rant, my cell rang. I flipped it open and saw it was Aro. "Porca miseria," I muttered sourly, reluctantly pressing the answer button.

"Isabella! I-"

It came out sharply and completely unexpectedly. "You figlio di puttana, do you realize how completely fessa you've all been?"

Aro was obviously taken aback. No one on the Guard swore at him. (At least… not in his face or to him when he could hear). "Isabella, I beg your-"

"Don't try to talk your way out of this one," I hissed. " I _remember_, okay? How do you like that one, huh? And I'll tell you this, Cate and Felix are both still alive, and working with Chelsea. And _she's_ working with the SNVs you sent us to kill."

"That's impossible," he dismissed flippantly. "Caius stayed behind to burn those two." Not a word about how he'd led me to forgetting, whether it was inadvertently or not, and not a word about how I was now in some deep shit. None. Nope. Just a simple 'You-can't-know-what-you're-talking-about-Bella'.

I snarled into the phone. "Well, _Aro_, maybe he's on their side as well, hmm? He's always going around threatening to overthrow you, did it ever cross your mind he one day _might try_?"

Aro laughed, the bastard. "That's impossible, Isabella. Even Caius isn't that stupid."

"No?" I asked dryly. "Then how is it Cate and Felix are still alive?"

He didn't answer, which made me laugh once sharply. "I thought so. My suggestion to you Aro is to fortify as fast as you can and hope that those you surround yourself with can be trusted. I'm outta here."

"Isabella, if you leave I'll-"

"What?" I hissed angrily. "You'll what, Aro? There's not much you can do to me without ruining the careful image you've worked centuries to perfect. And I'm busy with trying to keep alive, so there's no time in my schedule to help you."

He was silent for a while, then spoke, voice sly. "How about a deal, Isabella?"

I raised a brow. "Such as?"

"Edward." he shot back smugly.

I smirked, and, even more smugly, answered, "With me. Edward, say hello."

His voice was stone cold as he answered without moving from where he was leaning against his Volvo. "Hello, Aro."

Aro was silent for a while. "Alright then, Isabella. What do you suggest?" he asked cautiously and sourly.

"You leave me and Alice out of this. And June. All three of us help you keep your throne, and you let us go back to our lives as we want to live them, _without_ Volturi interference or duty. We're released from service."

"You said the other two were dead."

"I lied."

I waited patiently for his answer, knowing him well enough to know what it would be. Still, I decided to sweeten it. "Aro, if you leave us alone after this small mission is over, the one of killing the SNVs down here, which would mean killing the rogue Volturi members, I'll get all the Cullens, Denalis, and every vampire I meet that has a MySpace after my new start to add you on MySpace. Think how much closer to take-over that would make you."

"Done," he grudgingly relented. He loved his throne too much to risk losing it by not giving in to my deal. Stupid fool didn't even realize that vampires didn't have MySpace's, for obvious reasons, and that by all of us making one and then adding Aro, he'd still technically be no closer than before.

I hung up without waiting for him to change his mind and hurled my cell as far as I could, putting all my pent up anger and pain into it.

Edward raised a brow. "Nice throw," he commented dryly.

"Shut up," I muttered, going back to my car. Edward blurred forward and slammed the door shut, keeping it closed until I turned to glare at him.

"What are you doing?" I snapped, annoyed and irritated.

"Bella, everything's going to work out just fine."

I snorted. "You ain't Alice, so don't-"

"If it were going to end badly, don't you think she would let us know?"

"How?" I drawled. "I just chucked my phone a good fifty yards at least."  
Groaning in annoyance, he grabbed my face between his palms, forcing it so I stared straight into his eyes. "Hey. No gloom and doom, Bella. Everything will work out. I promise you."

I rolled my eyes. "You can't-"

He pressed his lips lightly to mine. "Shut up, Bella," he muttered. "You worry too much."

I huffed, yanking my face from his hands. "Someone has to." I knew I was being a bit unreasonable, and terribly rude to Edward, but talking with Aro always left me aggravated. Plus, I had just done the near unthinkable. You didn't make deals with the Volturi, you didn't tell them what would be happening, and you didn't threaten them. I had just done all three in less then five minutes.

Talk about being freaking stupid.

The only reason I didn't have a bunch of Volturi Guards after me right this second, all gunning for my head, is because the Volturi was in turmoil. Caius was trying to pull a Brutus, Chelsea was busy playing with SNVs, and I knew vital information about the Volturi that - if I didn't get my way - would severely damage the image Aro has spent centuries building. He had little choice but to do as I wanted, but I also knew it would likely come back to bite me in the ass if I didn't take care of things carefully.

And all of this was making me aggravated. Where was Jasper when you needed him?

Pushing aside Edward, I yanked open the door to my Lexus and slammed it behind me. As I started the engine, Edward got into the Volvo and followed as I started speeding my way to where the Cullens were waiting for us.

*~*~*~*

"Bella!" Alice called, running down the steps of the house as I stepped out of the Lexus. I smiled slightly, returning the crushing hug she gave me. Emmett popped up behind her as she released me, then swept me up in a crushing bear hug, spinning me around and laughing.

"Bella! I'm so glad you're not actually dead!"

I laughed a little. "Yeah, me too."  
Esme and Carlisle were busy hugging Edward, Esme looking like she would be crying if she could. Rosalie and I smiled and hugged each other, then Esme was hugging me, looking so very happy to see me. I shifted uncomfortably, still not really used to the kindness this whole family offered.

"Bella, dear. It's so good to see you well."

I cleared my throat. "Thank you." Looking down at my feet, I said quickly to her and Carlisle, "I'm sorry for putting your-"

"Bella, don't worry about it," Esme chided. "It isn't your fault that any of this happened."

I snorted my disbelief, still not looking up.

"Bella, even with all that has happened, you make this family happy. I haven't ever seen Edward as happy as he is with you since I changed him, and you can't begin to appreciate the difference it has made in the family as a whole." Carlisle said gently. "You complete us, and if there's any way we can help you, we'll do it."

Steeling myself, I looked up at them. "Thank you," I said quietly and sincerely. The Volturi didn't really make a family, just a group of people you had no choice but to coincide with. The Cullens… they _were_ a family. My family.

I took a deep breath. "The Volturi is about to break apart. Caius and Chelsea are using a large group of SNVs to try to overthrow Aro." I took a deep breath again. Odd, how - even though I didn't have to - taking deep breaths helped calm and fortify me. "I made a deal with Aro; I help him keep his throne, he won't bother any of us ever again."

Emmett came over and slung a heavy arm over my shoulders. "Cool. So, does that mean we all get to help you kick some ass?"

I smiled slightly while everyone else laughed. "If you want, yes."

Alice rolled her eyes. "Of course it's what we want, Bella. He so stepped too far when he messed with us. And though I still think it would be more deserving if we let him lose his throne, I can see that it would really be better to never have to deal with any of them again."

I rolled my eyes. "I really couldn't care less what does or doesn't happen within the Volturi; what I do care about is that we are all free of punishment and 'duty'. Listen, we can't stay up here forever, or even for more than a few days. If we want to defeat Chelsea, Caius, Cate, and Felix, we'll have to take them by surprise. They have a whole army of SNVs at their command." I dragged my hands through my hair and fisted it in frustration. So it's us against however many they have. Not good odds," I added in a mutter.

"I may have someone who'd be willing to help," Jasper spoke up quietly.

We all looked at him.

"While I was in the South, I stayed with some vampires down there. If given the proper incentive, they may help us fight."

I nodded, thinking of that one. "What was the group like?"

As Jasper explained the dynamics of the group he stayed with, I began to smile. "I think I have a plan."

**I think the sotry is going to wrap up soon, five or so chapters. **


	16. Chapter 16: Dilemma

**Okay, here it is. I know that things are getting close to the end, but on my list of priorities, this story isn't near the top. Sorry to those that love it, lol. I'm thinking five more chapters, tops, unless I change my mind on some things. Which isn't likely. **

**Anyways, on with the story. **

Edward was in the Volvo, Emmett and Rosalie with him, probably talking with him about when they'd met him and reviving any memories they could. I was left with the always perky Alice - who I seriously did love dearly, but was about ready to strangle - and with Jasper, who barely spoke a word except to help direct me on where to go. I was blocking everyone and everything right now, simply because I didn't want people to know anything about me or to be taken by surprise should fesso Chelsea pop up out of no where and decide it was time to play puppeteer. Trust me, it's not fun.

I randomly tuned in to Alice talking away about something - I caught the phrase "-I'm sure that we can convince him to paint the room a more-" - before drifting back into my own thoughts again, not finding anything of importance in what she said.

Truth was, I wasn't so sure we could make it out of this one all alive. The more I thought about it, the more sick I began to feel for bringing the Cullens into this. Chelsea and Felix would have an even bigger vendetta against me, Chelsea... hell, I can't think of a time she _didn't_ want to rip out my guts and burn them; add to the group Caius, who would either try to convince me to join them or order them to kill me, a bunch of SNVs, who would hate me on principal since I was a Volturi, and the fact that I was there to terminate them all? Do the odds look all that great to anyone? No? Didn't think so.

Our chances could possibly be increased from rock bottom to just plain ugly if we could get the SNVs Jasper had mentioned to join us. I would have to play political assassin, of course, but that wasn't really any different than what I'd been doing for the Volturi these past several years. I'd kill the Hector guy for this Jackie chick, gain her help in taking out the rouge Volturi, shake hands and leave.

Yeah, because plans like that _always_ work out perfectly. Without a single hitch or issue.

Ha.

"-I like our house up in northern New Hampshire the best, it's got this widow's walk that runs along the whole back of the house-"

Tuning out from Alice again, I mused over what I would do with my life once free of the Volturi. It would be my first true freedom since becoming a vampire. I knew the Cullens would welcome me to stay with them, and perhaps one day I would. But.....

I wanted to see the world _just _to see the world. Not because I had to go on a mission or because I was casing the place or for any reason other than my own personal pleasure. I wanted to try as many things as I could, find what I enjoyed now that I was a vampire. I didn't enjoy anything now, not really. I was _good_ at killing, I was _good_ at blocking other vampires' powers, and I was _good_ at being a sneaky diplomat-like person. I didn't really enjoy anything, though. When I was human, I enjoyed reading. Now, I had memorized all my favorite books, so that if I even just spared them a thought, the whole text came forth in my mind. Which made books and reading almost... redundant. There wasn't anything I'd found yet in life as a human that I had enjoyed and was passionate about, and there hadn't been time as a vampire to explore and find it. Once I was released from service however....

I'd seen all of Italy, and I wanted to honestly never return there and risk the Volturi trying to draw me back in. That would be just asking for it. But Paris.... I'd been there once, on a mission, and when I was human, I'd always wanted to see the city of love and lights. And Tokyo; never been there before. The Amazon, North and South Poles, the more remote regions of Africa.... I could spend years exploring the whole world and learning, finding, and experiencing new things. Perhaps there was something out there that I hadn't experienced before, that could be my passion in life or something. I needed to get out more. Renee had always been telling me that.

"Bella!" Alice snapped, snapping her fingers in front of my face. I blinked and looked over at her.

"What?" I asked.

She gave me an annoyed, and yet _amused _look. "Have you been listening to a word I've been saying?"

"Yes."

A smirk pulled up her lips. "Oh? So can you finally answer my question?"

"...No."

"No, you won't answer the question, or no-"

"Alice!" I snapped. "How about this? I won't answer your question because I'm sure I won't _want_ to answer it for any of multiple reasons. That good enough for you?"

Jasper chuckled as Alice muttered, "I knew she wasn't listening."

Rolling my eyes, I focused back on the road. Inevitably, my eyes flicked to the rearview mirror to check on the Volvo behind me.

It was missing.

Slamming on the breaks, I yanked the car over to the other side and got out, glancing around. It was far too quiet. Jasper and Alice got out around us, looking around uneasily.

"What is it?" Jasper asked.

I looked over at them briefly from the corner of my eye. "Do you know why Edward's Volvo is missing?" When they both shrugged, I swallowed a growl. I had a hunch on why it was gone.

Alice's eyes went blank, then she sighed. "I'm sorry Bella, I don't know why I didn't see anything."

I shrugged, not wanting to upset her more and have that wack out her vision. "You two take the car. Offer my services as an untouchable assassin to Jackie, if and only if she'll help us defeat the rogue Volturi. If she agrees, tell her I'll meet her tomorrow night at a local bar. I'll find her. If she doesn't, say your good byes, then turn straight back for Canada, and Esme and Carlisle."

"Bella-"Alice started, but I growled in annoyance at her. "Car, Alice."

Her and Jasper both slowly got in, eyes flickering to me often. I backed up to a tree and leaned against the trunk, more than ready to wait until either the Volvo drove by or one of the Rogues came for me. It wasn't a long wait, and I was lucky enough to get _both_. I raised a brow slowly as the Volvo pulled over to the side of the road, four SNVs crammed into the interior. Emmett was glaring at the two who had Rose's head in a very precarious position, and Edward's hands were probably bending his steering wheel into an odd shape. I had no idea how the group had gotten into this situation, but I was a little more concerned at the moment with solving it.

As one stepped out of the car, I shrugged off of the trunk of the large tree I was leaning against, forming mulitple plans of attack as I stepped a few more steps closer with my arms folded across my chest, expression blank. The SNV showed no fear of me as he stepped closer, which was stupid of him. Just because he had Volturi rogues for protection didn't mean anything to me at all; like it would stop me from lighting him on fire? But apparently he seemed to think so, which only made my part in this more fun.

"Chelsea has an offer for you."

Raising a brow, I asked sardonically, "Does she now?"

Irked, the SNV gave me a glare. "If you want your friends to survive, you must come with us in complete cooperation."

I thought about that. There was a chance they would take me to the place of operations, but Chelsea - if not Caius - was not that stupid. So for the slim possibility, was I willing to risk my life?

Nah.

"How about... _no_."

"So they die," he said coldly, half turning to make a gesture at his accomplices in the car. Smirking, I attacked; his own fault for dumbly turning his back to me.

By the time I had ripped his head clean off his shoulders, Edward had grabbed one of the SNVs holding Rose, Emmett was going for a third, and Rose was clawing the eyes of the other one who had held her. I yanked open the door of the Volvo and pulled the one fighting Edward out by the back neck of his shirt, casually throwing him into a tree and noting ansebtly that it fell on top of him, one of the branches trying to stab through him.

"Out," I ordered, glad when Edward immediately complied, and I reached in to grab the other two SNVs. Jerking my head at Rose and Em, I pulled the two in my hands out and tossed them to join the third, then tilted my head at the three pissed off Cullens. "Well? What are you waiting for, an engraved invitation?"

They fell upon the dazed SNVs with an angry savagery that I thought was appropriate, considering the newborns had been ready to kill all of us. I tossed Rosalie the lighter, and watched as she lit up the pieces. Turning from the pretty much finished job, I went back to the Volvo, slipping into the interior and starting to search.

"What are you doing?" Emmett asked, coming over.

"Searching for bugs." I answered vaguely, frowning as I found a small device and tossed it out onto the ground. "Smash that for me," I added.

As I heard the crunch, I felt around under the driver's seat. "The rest of you feel free to search as well. Just make sure you're being _very_ thorough."

With the other three helping, we were done in about fifteen minutes, and had found a good five bugs. We were on the road quickly enough, and I debated asking what had happened. None of the Cullens had volunteered the information, and I was a little more concerned with getting the help of Jackie and her newborn army. Still, it wasn't like I could do anything effective about that while in the car, so I finally just came out and asked.

"How did they catch you guys?"

The three Cullens looked at each other uneasily, and instantly, my instincts went on high alert, telling me something wasn't quite right. I paid close attention to the body language of the other three in the car, waiting for something to give away anything.

"I'm not sure," Rosalie said uncertainly. "One minute we were driving, the next...."

Edward shrugged, looking at me with frustrated... and angry eyes. "They came literally out of no where."

I stared hard at him. "How'd they get past your telepathy?"

The frustration increased tenfold. "I don't know."

Emmett spoke up. "We actually fought a lot of them off, but there were too many. Those four followed us back into the car. They knew you'd eventually notice the Volvo wasn't following, and either wait or come back for us."

I nodded, facing out the front windshield again. There was nothing about their story that rang false. If anything, Emmett's addition of information made it all the more believable, and if it weren't for my super-Volturi instincts, I'd have thought nothing was off. But.... Something _was_ wrong. I could feel it. I just couldn't identify it, dammit.

I took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. I was just being paranoid, that's all. Jumpy. Too many enemies coming at me from too many sides for too many reasons, and me with too little information to feel comfortable with it all.

Trying to explain it away to myself just made me snort. Only a real dumbass would ignore their instincts when they were screaming so insistently that something was off. And I was _not_ a dumbass.

But what would be wrong? The Cullens would never betray me, of that I was absolutely certain. It was one of the few things I was certain about. So why would something be off?_ How_ could something be off?

I glanced back in the rearview mirror, and felt everything in me still. It was an infinitesimal movement, something wouldn't have notice or thought much of if I weren't so keyed up. But the fact that Edward's hand brushed Rosalie's, in a way that wasn't casual.....

They smelled like the Cullens, but the more I concentrated on the scent, the more I picked up on a small something that was off. Just a little difference that wasn't... them. Yet, at the same time, it made all the difference in the world.

The scent of human blood on breath. One or all of them had fed recently... on a human. I looked at each of their eyes, noting the pure, undiluted gold. They didn't look like they had, so how was it possible?

My mind could only come up with one solution, one possible reason. These vampires weren't really the Cullens.


	17. Chapter 17: Promises, Promises

**One week of school left, then I promise, after June 6 (my SAT date; wish me luck!) I will sit down and write the rest of this story until I have it as perfected as I can get. I swear to you loyal readers who somehow still love me after all the horrible waiting for updates. **

EPOV

This was freakin impossible. Just plain unbelievable. I mean, what was the likelihood of getting caught by the rogues and them having some dude who could morph the shape of people? I mean, that's the kind of stuff that happened in books and movies, not life.

Course, for most people, vampires were also the kind of stuff of books and movies. So maybe I needed to be more open minded.

But we had a plan, because Rosalie was not the kind to sit back and let this just simply happen, and Emmett did _not_ like the idea of being anyone's hostage. And I was pissed they were going after Bella in this underhand way. Plus, they stole my Volvo.

BPOV

Okay, so, I had three vampires pretending to be the Cullens in my car, and I'd bet they weren't here just to throw a surprise party.

Well, maybe they were there for a surprise, but not the party kind. More like the "let's-kill-Bella" kind. That sounded appropriate.

"Where are we going?" asked 'Emmett'.

"Town." I stated. "Don't you remember Emmett?" I asked, glancing back in the mirror, inwardly smirking. Let's set a trap. "One of the SNVs contacted us and offered a trade. Info for protection."

All of them sent fast glances at each other.

"Of course he remembers. How can you not, Emmett?" asked Rosalie.

I smirked. "Is that so, Rose?"

She frowned at me, the confused look almost believable. Except Rose never looked confused; she'd simply look haughty.

"Edward? Did Emmett actually remember?"

"Uh... yeah. Why?"

"Oh, no reason," I said nonchalantly, opening my shields to let Alice through and show me killing the three in my car in the woods. Hopefully she'd show up with Jasper, whether to stop me, or to help. Either way worked.

A few minutes later, my cell rang, and Alice's number flashed across the screen. I answered, just because I was curious as to what she saw.

"Bella how could you-"

"Five minutes, Alice. Be there." I hung up quickly, having my answer. She'd just seen me killing Edward, Rose, and Emmett, but didn't realize it wasn't them.

I quickly yanked my steering wheel to the side, crashing through the trees. Edward was going to be pissed about all the scratches on his Volvo. I'd just have to blame these three; it wasn't like anyone but me would know the truth, right? Right, good plan. It would make him more pissed at the SNVs - if that were possible after this little shenanigan - and that would prove him to be a more effective fighter.

The three in the back were yelling and screaming; I laughed loudly, exuberantly. Cross-country wasn't really what a Volvo was made for, but hey, it was still pretty fun.

We crashed loudly into a clearing, and I snickered as I pulled the break, then twisted around to look at the three shell-shocked vampires. "Okay, impostors, ride's over. Everybody out for a smack down." As they stared at me in disbelief, I opened the door and stepped out, getting into a casual fighting stance.

The Rosalie-one was the first to recover, and jumped out of the vehicle, fighting stance aggressive and way over acted. The Emmett one was like that too, but the Edward one got out fluidly and stood lightly, readily. Ah, a professional. That will be awkward... an Edward look-alike with at least adequate fighting skills that I would have to kill.

"How'd you figure it out?"

I shrugged. "I'm just good like that. I didn't get to be called the Best of the Volturi Guard for nothing."

'Edward' sneered. I smirked and gave him - or hey, for all I knew, it was a her - a little wave. Just to irritate him/her, because that was always fun with enemies. With a jealous and vicious snarl, the Rosalie impostor lunged at me. I sidestepped her, grabbed the long blond hair, and yanked. She fell on her ass, which made me smirk coolly.

"Ah, ah. Aggression only gets you so far, pretty."

"I'm going to rip your heart out!"

Rolling my eyes, I taunted, "Promises, promises. That would take _good_ fighting skills, sweetie, which you obviously lack."

With a snarl, she clawed at me, and I rolled my eyes, flashing behind her and grabbing the hair at the base of her neck. The 'Edward' hissed warningly. Sending him a too sweet smile, I ripped off her head in an impressive show of force, since I wasn't in the best position to tear easily. As her body fell to the ground, the shape morphing - and trust me, that wasn't a pretty sight - Alice and Jasper ran into the clearing, Alice crying out in distress.... Then their mouths fell open in shock.

I looked up and met their eyes, then shrugged. "What? She was a horrible Rosalie."

The Edward guy lunged at me, snarl ripping up from his throat. It only took mere moments of fighting to recognize his style.

Felix.

Which meant I had just re-killed Cate, or at least re-dismembered her.

"Hey, Felix. You really suck at fighting these days, you know that? What happened, Cate's crazy rub off on you?"

His lips pulled back from his teeth in a snarl. "And you, Isabella? It's amazing; the death of that disgusting vegetarian and his friends don't affect you at all. I suppose Caius and Marcus were right. You're emotionless, a frigid bitch."

I chanted mentally to not let him get to me. "Talk, talk, talk, Felix. Can you focus on fighting now so I'll actually be challenged?"

I heard a piteous scream, that cut off abruptly, an all too familiar sound in my life. The next thing I knew, the putrid smell of burning vampire reached my nose, making me scrunch it in distaste. I was just about to leap at Felix and finish him off, when suddenly... he was gone.

And in his place stood the real Edward. And how could I tell it wasn't just a look alike?

He was glaring at the scratches on his Volvo, then over at me.

"Felix." I said quickly, pointing at his headless corpse. Edward glanced casually at the pieces, then leaned down to toss them into the flame. Casually, he stepped over to me, a small smirk playing on the corners of his lips. I looked up at him with my _perfected_ innocent look, but inwardly, I was sagging with relief that he was alright and _wasn't_ dead. I think I wouldn't have survived that, no matter how pathetic it sounded.

He leaned down to my ear, his breath brushing against it and making tingles race along my spine. "You are such a complete liar, Isabella Swan."

I pulled back to give him my innocent "me?" look. "I have no-"

His lips decided to interrupt mine, and I wasn't complaining. His hands came up to cup my face, oh so gentle, and I felt like heat was suffusing my body. He pulled back just enough to release my lips, resting our foreheads together. "I remember, that night at the cabin, you know."

I blinked rapidly. "Oh?" I asked guardedly. I had been rather... brutal there, the real Volturi guard that I hadn't shown the Cullens before or since.

He nodded. "I told you I'd wasn't letting you go."

I remembered, and nodded slowly to let him know that. I wasn't sure where he was going with this.

"And June then made me forget."

He paused, so I nodded again, confusion making me uneasy and fearful.

"And then I passed out."

"Yes." I answered tersely.

"I could still hear everything. It just... started to make less and less sense."

I was still lost. "Edward, I don't-"

"Before that blackness completely consumed me, one of the only memories I'd had this entire time from then.... You told me something, finally."

I swallowed.

"You said you'd love me for eternity." he whispered.

Slowly, I nodded. I wanted to shift uncomfortably; I wasn't big on revealing emotions after all my time in the Volturi, and when I had said that, I'd thought Edward wouldn't ever see me again.

"I love you as well. For always. And this time, I'm not letting you leave."

I was taken aback by the intensity of his words, the complete and utter conviction and promise of what he said.

"So, what?" I tried to joke. "I'm your prisoner?"

He continued to be completely serious. "If that's what it takes to keep you with me, then yes."

I would have been more freaked out about this... but it was Edward. And I loved him. And.... Hey, if he wanted to spend eternity with me, who was I to complain?

"We still have to finish up this issue down here," I told him softly. I wanted to ask him to promise me that, to tell me he really meant it and wasn't going to let me leave him ever again. I wanted him to chain me up if I tried to run away, because knowing myself the way I did, I knew it would happen one day. I was just like that. I wanted to know for sure that he meant it when he said he'd always love me, because I knew I would screw up once in a while, more often than I'd like, whether it be because of the diet or because I was still carrying issues from almost five years with the Volturi. And if he couldn't promise me any of those things, then what he was saying was simply words. The promise would make it real. But I didn't ask him if he promised. Promises were so easily broken these days. So instead, I tried to get back to business.

And then he smirked. "I'll make it easy on you. We know where they're hiding out."

"Seriously?" I gaped. _How _the....

When he nodded, I blinked a few times. "Well.... That makes things easier. Doesn't it?" Business-wise, at least.

There was still the issue of my stupid insecurities, my wanting to travel the world once I was free, and of Edward suddenly looking at me extremely possessively. And about the lack of promises.

**Yeah, I know. It sucks. I think so too. But review anyway? Please? Maybe one or two more chapters, depending on if I write a lot per chapter or not, and if I really get into a good writing mood for this. Obviously, sequels _aren't_ my thing. **


	18. Chapter 18: It's All in the Moment

**I am bound and determined to not do anything else until I finish this (schoolwork and reading aside). So for those who read Ignorance - it's going to have to wait until this is done. *shrugs* I see it as being started first, since it is a continuation of Dusk, and therefore, it needs to be put at the top and be finished. (Plus, I know this will make me actually work on it; I want to write the chapter of Ignorance that reveals Hydeward's jobs, and I can't do that until I finish this.... Self-motivation and bribery. Works wonders.)**

**SO, enough babbling! Well, sorta. Now, I'm not saying that I will use your opinions on this - I just am curious. What do you want to happen at the end of Sorrow? Like, seriously, where do you want it to end? Bella staying with the Cullens? Her going on her world-wide adventure? Everyone dying? I want to know! lol. So let me know in your review, and... um... IDK, I'll put your name at the top of the next chapter or something. M'kay? **

**Now, to infinity and beyond! (I want to watch Toy Story; can you tell?)**

Jackie was an interesting person; I think she'd get along great with Aro, because they are both about domination and both have that kind of... well, wacky way of looking at things. Only, Aro's is more towards the insane side, while Jackie is simply unusual.

She gave me a considering look after Jasper finished explaining the proposition. Rule one of being a Volturi assassin/Guard? You don't make the deals; other people do for you. It gives you an air of power, of mystery, and simply makes you more frightening, because then all the people know about you is how you kill.

And trust me when I say I sure can kill with a flare.

Her hair glinted in the dim lighting as her eyes turned calculating. "Why would a member of the Volturi guard - the best member - want to gain our assistance? Shouldn't she be able to handle something like this without our aid? She took out many of our more prominent players on her own."

I slowly raised a brow, keeping the rest of my expression blank. "I don't know. Why doesn't the stronger vampire of an army kill her commanding officer like most others would?"

Her eyes tightened, then her features relaxed. "Touche, Miss." After a short moment of consideration, she nodded once decisively. "Alright. It's a deal."

I nodded, then turned and walked out of the motel we'd rented for the meeting. No point in wasting time, right? Besides, I was itching to get this over with. I hated working with SNVs; they hated working with me. Prey and predator aren't meant to work together for long, if at all.

Before I realized it, Edward was running next to me, rather easily. Dumb fast sprinter.

"What are you doing?" I asked in irritation. I was edgy; I always got this way when missions got hitches in them, and rogue Volturi members and asking SNVs for help were definitely big hitches.

"Coming with you," he said easily. "I told you; I'm not letting you leave me."

I rolled my eyes. "So, what? You're going to follow me everywhere? What about when I shower?"

He grinned, and I swear if I could, I would blush. "Don't answer that." I told him warningly.

"Whatever you say."

I reached out to smack him, but he ducked away, laughing. I got the final laugh though, because he ducked away... into a tree. I had to stop and clutch my sides, I was laughing so hard. Edward gave me a disgruntled look.

"How about we're even?" he suggested. "I won't pick on you about being frightened by a bear, and you leave that be as well."

I was pleasantly surprised; he remembered the hunting trip, whether on his own or with help, I didn't know, but he remembered. And that meant the world to me.

"Fine," I pretended to relent reluctantly, rolling my eyes at him. He smirked, coming up to me and pressing his lips to my forehead. I tried not to show how much I liked that.

We ran the rest of the way in silence, me getting more and more edgy as we neared the headcourters for Jackie's army. I told Edward to stay back and went ahead without him. He was close enough to hear and make it in time if anything went wrong, but far enough away that I wouldn't worry.

It was surprisingly easy to slip inside, and I glanced around, taking in surroundings, looking for a trap that wasn't there. I started up the stairs, making for the bedrooms, where I expected Hector to be.

And he was. Simply sitting in a chair, staring at the door, looking highly unsurprised to see me there. I froze, unsure if this was a trap, but he shook his head.

"No, don't worry ma'am. No trap here." His voice was rough, the drawl different than Jasper's. He was older than I'd expected. More... tired looking. And I felt sudden empathy for the man sitting across the room from me, because I knew that look. It was the look of someone who wanted out, and no longer cared if they got out dead or alive, as long as it was out. It was the look of someone done with what they'd been doing, but cornered into staying. A defeated, exhausted, dying look.

"Jackie sent you to kill me, no doubt." He shook his head. "Girl can't do nothin' on her own. It's why she won't keep the territory long. She'll lose it to someone more upfront. Don't get me wrong," he added. "She's smart and knows how to utilize the newborns. But she has little in the way of battle instinct and trusts others to do her work for her."

"If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself," I quoted the commonly known phrase, muttering it. Words a Volturi Guard lived by.

He nodded, then rose. I tensed a little, but relaxed as I saw him stretch and look at me in interest. "So, how're you going to do this?"

I smirked a little, suddenly seeing a way to make us both leave relatively happy. Plus it was a... well, a Volturi thing. Doing as told without actually doing it. I said I'd get rid of Hector.

I never said how.

"I'm going to tell you to get your butt outta here, and not come back." I smiled a little. "That's how I'm going to do this."

He seemed surprised. "What? No bloody Volturi murder? I know who you are; your reputation precedes you, Isabella, Volturi Guard."

I shrugged. "I happen to be good at what I do."

"Which is why this letting me walk away alive thing is so... shocking."

I thought of all the possible answers to that, then looked up as I decided. "I understand what it's like to get stuck somewhere you hate. And to want out and find yourself cornered with the options of death or staying. I'm working my way out of that as we speak. Your's is much simpler to solve. Disappear. Jackie won't know the difference."

He raised a brow. "The smoke?"

I grinned. "Damn, but you ran fast."

He laughed, then bowed; it showed just how old he really was, to come from a time when men still had manners and bowed as a form of respect to a lady. "I thank you, then, Miss Isabella. And I wish you well on your attempts to freedom."

I nodded, then jerked my head to the hallway. "Get."

When I heard the front door close behind him, I looked around in interest, calculating. I'd had enough battles to the death to know what the scene of one would look like, and it was easy to replicate. Then I ran out to Edward, who looked at me curiously.

"He's gone."

His brows raised slowly. "As in dead, or disappeared?"

"As in, he didn't want this life, and left voluntarily. I never said I would _kill_ the guy, just get rid of him. He's gone. But we have to convince Jackie that I killed him, cause that's what she expects."

Edward stared at me for a long moment, then shrugged. "Okay. What do you need help with?"

Three hours later, both of us were lounging on the wrecked porch, watching Jackie and the Cullens (plus June) walk up. I hopped up from where I'd been standing and moved calmly to Jackie, stopping a few yards away and crossing my arms.

"It's done. He's gone. Now, mind lending us your army?"

I'd realized, as we'd worked, that I could have just asked Hector in the first place. The guy had lost all care for the army; truly, it had already been Jackie's, Hector just stood by and ran the things she couldn't handle. But it didn't matter, because here, everyone was happy. Whatever; it didn't matter. I just wanted this all over and done with.

Jackie walked into the house, and came out a few minutes later looking viciously satisfied. "Okay. Just call and tell us where to meet you when you need us."

I scowled. Not the best circumstances, because Volturi rogues wouldn't waste any time. If I called them when I needed them, by the time they got there, there would be no point. So I shook my head at Jackie.

"No," I said dangerously, stepping forward with purposeful, predatory grace. It freaked people out very well, reminded them I was the killer. "This is how it's going to go down. I'm introduced to your army as their commander until they kill these people for me. I take them with me. I use them. The survivors are returned. And we all go on our lovely ways." I grinned slowly, evilly.

Jackie glared. "That leaves my territory unprotected!" she growled angrily.

Smirking, I shrugged. "Not. My. Problem."

She shrieked, and made to lunge at me. I was totally prepared for her, but Edward apparently didn't want to watch me kick her ass, because he had her head held in his hands, twisted sharply to the side, before she got within a foot of me.

I glared at him. "I so could have handled her."

He grinned, crookedly. "Oh, I know."

Rolling my eyes, I stepped up to the angry red-head. "My way? Or the road to hell?"

"Go to hell." she snarled.

I shrugged. "After you." Her head came off easily enough.

Jasper raised an impressed brow at me; Esme had her hand over her mouth, eyes wide. Inwardly, I cringed. If I could do anything to make it so that she - and the rest of the Cullens - never had to see me in action, I would. I didn't want her to think badly of me; I didn't want their love to lessen or disappear because they finally understood who and what I was.

I'd never asked for this life.

Pushing aside the emotions, I looked at Alice, who nodded, then at Jasper. "You know how to run these things." I stated.

Her looked at me with a blank expression. "Yes."

"So do so for me. They're all gonna die, anyway."

He was silent for a while, then shrugged serenly. "If it'll help you and Alice get out of this."

It was the next night when Edward came into the room I was staying in. The sun had just set, and I was staring out the window, trying to _not_ think of who might not be living after this night of fighting. If I did, I would probably lock them all away somewhere safe and face everyone by myself.

Okay, not by myself. I'd take the newborns too, but they hardly changed matters. I'd still be alone.

"Bella." he said quietly.

I looked at him, noting the way his hair gleamed, the way his eyes, slowly changing back to gold, like mine, said everything and nothing to me, how all I wanted to do was fling myself into his arms like some heroine from a romance novel who couldn't take care of herself.

Pathetic, Bella. Honestly.

He stepped farther into the room, closing the door behind him with a soft click. His steps towards where I sat on the bed were completely silent, his eyes unwavering from mine. I wished for a fast moment that I'd known him when he was human. I wanted to know how he looked without that pale glow of vampirism to his skin, what his eyes looked like back then, if his hair had always been so shiny and vibrant. I wanted to know what his skin had felt like warm and fragile and soft, and I wanted to know how fast his heart would beat when he kissed me.

Then he was leaning into me, and we were kissing, and what started as sweet and gentle turned desperate. He knew we might die. I knew we might die. And we knew we wanted more than anything to prevent that from happening.

His hand moved up to my neck, using his hold on it to pull me closer and tilt my head. Oddly and surprisingly enough, the possibly threatening hold didn't bother me. It barely registered. This was Edward, and he would never harm me. He'd go to the ends of the earth if he thought it would make me more safe. I lifted my hands into his hair, tangling them and holding him steadfastly to me.

One good thing about knowing Edward now, instead of when he was alive? Neither of us had to stop kissing to catch out breath. Though... I kind of wanted to know what it would be like to hear him panting because he had to breathe, not just because... it was more habit than anything else.

We fell back onto the bed, and his free hand moved to my waist, making the skin under the shirt heat up incredibly, as if I'd touched a piece of metal that had been lying in the sun for hours to my skin. I sighed into his mouth, wishing time could simply stay like this. I didn't want to leave this moment, I'd waited forever for the kind of love Edward gave me, and now I might lose it this very night.

It would have been a romantic thing, our kissing, the moment, but it was darkened by the fact that we were desperate to be together one more time, to kiss like there was no tomorrow... because there might not be. That fear made the moment not romantic, just... sad and bittersweet.

"I love you," he breathed, shifting his lips from mine, to my jaw.

If I could cry, I think I might have.

"Always. Forever and always and no matter what," I told him back, my voice just a soft breath.

Out of nowhere, he stilled, a bright look in his eyes. Hopeful, unsure, excited. "Marry me."

"What?" I asked. Oh, it wasn't that I hadn't heard him - because I had - or that what he said was confusing in the sense that I dind't understand it - because I did. But I was taken aback, startled. Edward Anthony Masen Cullen had taken Isabella Swan Volturi by complete surprise. Give the man a round of applause, because that happened like... _never_.

He sat up, the insecurity leaving to be replaced by more excitement. "Marry me. Tonight. Before we fight. Bella," he said passionately, grabbing my hands in both of his and tilting his head forward to stare straight on into my eyes. "I love you. I'm not sure you really grasp that just yet, or how much I mean it, or even how inadequate those words are. Before, when I thought we had an eternity to work this out, I was willing to wait patiently for you to understand all on your own, and to help you understand it. But... we might not make it through tonight. And I don't want you even for a moment to be out there thinking anything less of what I'm saying than the truth. I want you to be mine forever. I don't want you with anyone else. Hell, Bella," he laughed. "I don't want other men even _thinking_ they have a chance. I want them to see that ring on your finger and know they have not a single possible chance of having you. Marry me. Please. Now."

I swallowed. Edward was too obvservant, or perhaps it was more that he saw past me too easily. Because it was all true. Every time he said it, I thought... deep down, I'd been holding back, because I was waiting for him to get tired of me, of the danger and horror that I had become. But.... Staring into his eyes like this now, in this moment... I couldn't doubt what he was saying. He meant every word of it. He wanted me to be his, and in turn be mine, for all of eternity, and he... loved me.

The words filled me with something that felt bubbly, almost dizzying, and I grinned so widely that I thought my face might split in half.

"Where?"

His answering grin might have rivaled mine. He got up, went to the window, and popped it open. "We have to leave quickly," he whispered. "Before Alice notices."

Which was fine, because I had been blocking her since I started thinking about plans to make sure the Cullens had the highest survival chance. And most of those plans put me in dangerous, stupid situations that I was unlikely to get out of, at least unscathed.

"No worries," I whispered back, tapping my head. "She can't see a single thing involving me right now."

He grinned, leaning down to press a fast, firm kiss to my lips. I smiled at him, exuberant and excited.

I was getting married to Edward.

We slipped into the Volvo, and I couldn't help but lean across the console and kiss Edward again. I wondered if how I was feeling now was anything like being drunk. I wouldn't know; I was an exceptionally good teenager.

I didn't pay attention to where we were driving, because I was busy watching Edward. And I think he was watching me more often than the road, but that was fine. I would survive everything but an explosion.

I knew that - if we all did survive this fight, inexplicably - than Alice would make sure there was hell to pay for getting married without a big fancy wedding. I'd have to satisfy her by saying we could throw a wedding once things were back to normal.

I bit my lip. Marrying Edward. It would make me a Cullen. I wouldn't be able to travel the world for years like I'd wanted. But Edward... he was worth it; right?

It passed in a blur, yet clear detail, every nuance of expression on Edward's face registered and imprinted for as long as I lived in my mind. Which was wonderful, because I wanted to always have a perfect recollection of that day.

I felt the cool metal of the ring slid onto my skin, and then Edward's lips descended onto mine, gentle and passionate at the same time. And oh so loving. I wanted him to know I loved him that much too... so I put as much of my love as I could into that single kiss.

When we separated, we were both grinning, and Edward's eyes were so tender, it almost hurt. I couldn't keep from throwing my arms around him and dry sobbing. He had to live. _We_ had to live. Neither of us would manage to live without the other. And if we did, it would be a half life, a shadow of a pointless existence. I wouldn't manage. And the way Edward clutched me back hinted that he wouldn't be able to either.

We had to live. Just had to_._

_If only this were a romance novel,_ I thought._ You always know there has to be a happy ending._

**Hey! This totes makes up for the last chapter, in my opinion. I did well here. I like it, it flows, and that makes me happy. Again, I think there will be one chapter after this, then an epilogue or something. I think. _shrugs_ I'm not holding this story to any of those kinds of standards. **

**REVIEW PLEASE! You know you want to - it's fun!  
**


	19. Chapter 19: Battling to the Death

**NO MORE SCHOOL!!!**

**So, here's the chapter. Enjoy it. **

**Thank you to: VampireChic66, Dazzle Me Again, love of escapism, April Nichole, latuacantante4him, SparklingTopazEyes, CreativeInsanityy - for all giving some opinion on what they think should happen at the end, whether it be nobody dying or what Bella should do after the fight. **

Alice stood on the porch, tapping her foot, arms folded severely across her chest and her glare deadly.

I couldn't stop grinning like a maniac on ten different kinds of high.

Edward was still holding onto my hand, which I think he'd only let go of to get a hold of my waist. It didn't bother me, and I was keeping my side pressed firmly against his. These were our moments, whether they be the last or the first of many. They belonged to us, and I was not passing up on any of them.

"Isabella Marie Swan Volturi Cullen, I am going to _kill you_."

My smile didn't lessen; in fact, it increased as I heard Edward chuckle beside me. "I think you have the longest name of us all, love."

"I'd have no problem dropping the Volturi," I said casually. Completely ignoring Alice's remark and death glare.

Alice threw her hands up in the air. "They went and got married and told no one! What about a wedding! What about a _dress?!_ Bella, please; don't tell me that's what you got married in. Please. If you love me-"

"Sorry Alice," Edward snickered. "She loves me. And she looks beautiful."

Alice snorted and muttered something lowly. Then Esme and Carlisle, and all the rest of the Cullens came out of the house, such joyous looks on their faces that I wondered if June had fixed their minds to make them forget that I had killed Jackie ruthlessly in front of them.

"Bella. It is so good that you're finally part of the family." Esme whispered, hugging me tightly. After a moment's hesitation, I wrapped my arms around her tightly, whispering a thank you.

Carlisle was smiling, grabbing me hand in a firm hold and then pulling me close. "Welcome to the family."

"Bella!" Emmett exclaimed, arms wide. "You're one of us now!"

Rolling my eyes as he lifted me up and spun me around, I wiggled free and returned to Edward's side. He immediately wrapped his arm around my waist again, nuzzling into my neck.

"Bella," June said quietly, interrupting our congrats and generally happy mood. I looked over at her questioningly, quickly feeling the smile slid off my face as I took note of her solemn expression.

"It's time."

Closing my eyes, I drew in a deep breath, steadying myself and returning my focus to the now, to the fight, to the fact that this might be one of the last memories of these people I had. Snapping my eyes open, I looked around at them all, memorizing features. It seemed they were doing the same, the intent and sadness and determination I felt reflected back at me from them. Lastly, I looked at Edward, and nearly fainted from the intensity of his smoldering eyes. Instead, I just let everything in my smolder back at him, for him. Then he'd captured me in his arms and pulled me into him roughly, his mouth claiming mine with the desperation of earlier tonight. When we parted, I was panting, but shook myself into focus again.

"Let's go."

The group of us that ran in front were the ones with the most fighting experience. I led the way, Jasper and the SNVs spread out and following behind me. Alice and June stayed with the rest of the Cullens, because while they had more experience than them, the Cullens would need someone at least _slightly_ knowledgeable to guide them. The woods here were dense, the tree trunks tightly packed, so we had decided to jump from tree branch to tree branch. It was a little more irritating, and a lot more complicated for sneaking up while keeping in contact with each other, but it was the best we could do.

I glanced over at Jasper, who nodded and slipped on ahead. I stopped, the SNVs stopping with me, and we waited for Jaz to report back. I was praying this would be as simple as possible, an easy go in, kill, destroy all, leave. Then I could report to Aro and regain my freedom for the first time since I was human.

The next few minutes were spent leaning against a tree, going through multiple strategies in my head. The hard thing was, there was no way for me to tell what the other side would do. It was very likely that Chelsea's power would have the SNVs turning on us, but her gift took time to work, and I was hoping that with the fight against the murdered Volturi and the time that skill would take would be enough to cut off a majority of their numbers. Giving me time to get to Chelsea.

Then Caius. I kill them both, and things would be fine from there.

Jasper appeared ahead of me, and motioned for me to follow. I did, glaring over my shoulder at the SNVs in a silent dare to make the barest hint of a sound. Within just seconds - or so it felt like - we burst from the cover of the trees and into the branches at the edges of a clearing.

Chelsea, Caius, and maybe thirty or so SNVs stood around, posture ready for a fight. Energy coursed through me, much like adrenaline but not. I stepped out of the tree, the SNVs and Jasper following, and stepped as close as I dared to the enemy. Any closer would have been ridiculously dangerous. Any farther would have been a sign of weakness and fear.

"Isabella." Caius acknowledged.

I raised my chin a notch. "Caius Volturi, I have been authorized by Aro Volturi to remove your presence from this world and into the next. I have also been given authorization to remove any and all who stand with you. However, you are given one chance to state your position and tell us why perhaps this should not be."

He smirked. "I know how it works, Isabella. That last sentence means nothing, because judgment has already been cast. However, I believe _you_ personally might find my words... meaningful.

"Why are you doing this? Aro has you under his thumb, and you have no real power in the world. Don't you want the kind of power that means ultimate protection? Don't you want to be feared and loved so much that no one would dare stand up against what you say or do, where you have no faults. We can get that together, Isabella. Chelsea and I are simply removing a weak link. Aro is insane. Marcus is as good as dead. They are unfit to rule the vampire world, unfit to give themselves the title of the rulers of the world, of the Volturi. Am I not helping the world by removing them?"

I rolled my eyes. "Bullshit," I drawled. "Besides, I'm actually killing you on Aro's orders, yes, but in return, I get out of this crazy fesso world. So vaffanculo, Caius, and step forward for your punishment."

He smirked. "An unusual variation of the standard statement of death."

"Go to hell," I snorted.

Chelsea's lips pulled back from her teeth to snarl at me, and I casually sent her one back.

"Fine," I snapped. "We shall follow through with orders by force then." A discreet gesture from me had Jasper directing the SNVs in the front to attack. They rushed forward without hesitation, eyes red with bloodlust. They hit the front lines of the other SNVs, and thus commenced the ripping of body parts, the tearing of flesh with teeth, and the fight to stay alive. I slid into the fray, easily dispensing of any SNVs in my way, trying to get to Chelsea, who was surrounded and concentrating on tearing the small ties of loyalty in our group. Thank god for Jasper, because he kept pushing the loyal feelings at them. I wondered how long he could keep it up against Chelsea's assault.

The farther in I got, the more violent and well-trained the SNVs became. I spared a glance back once, perhaps just minutes or hours later, and noticed that it was all the older SNVs still up and fighting. A few were missing limbs, on both sides, but I felt we were doing well. We still had the Cullens after all, didn't we?

"Bella!" Jasper yelled. "Duck!"

I did, kicking my leg out behind me to connect with incredible force into the ankle of my attacker. He grunted, falling to his knees, one hand clutching his shattered ankle. I finished disposing of him, quickly leaping back up to my feet. When I threw more glances around, I saw that even more of the SNVs from the other side had arrived, seemingly from no where, and the first hints of despair hit me.

We were likely going to lose.

The Cullens charged into the clearing and started fighting as well. I watched them from the corner of my eyes, distractedly tearing off the head of an SNV as it tried to grab me; Alice was graceful, untouchable, and the Emmett was easily taking on two or three at a time, and enjoying himself. Rosalie, Carlisle, and Esme were all good fighters in their own right. Not Volturi good, but good enough to take on some newborns. Edward, however, shocked me.

His eyes were flat, dangerous. His face held no emotion other than cold logic. He moved with a deftness that made one want to stop just to watch him, and a preciseness that made him lethal. He didn't growl or snarl or yell or anything; he simply tore apart the SNVs that came after him, slowly working his way deeper into the fray.

June was doing wonderfully for this being her first _real_ fight against anyone. She was very good at keeping from being double-teamed, because she was constantly in motion. A grim expression covered her features, and I knew what she was thinking because I'd thought it so many times before. So much death, just because of a stupid act or a stupid whim. But it meant survival, and there was no way that you'd let yourself be the one doing the lights out routine.

I focused back on the fighting, glaring ahead at where Chelsea was still surrounded by SNVs. The group was smaller, at least, as more had rushed to try to stop probably me. I dispatched two more newborns with little work, and wondered in rapid fire thoughts how best to get through her guard.

Fire sounded nice.

I pulled a lighter out of my pocket, then yelled over to Alice, "Hey, Alice! Got any hairspray?"

She gave me an odd look, but danced away from more SNVs while rummaging through her bag. How she managed to fight like this, I'd never know. I supposed it was a "wonders never cease" thing.

She tossed it to me, yelling with a smirk, "Go long!"

I flipped her the bird, and backed up to catch it. The SNVs around me looked confused, and I took their moment of indecision to grab the can. Then I fought my way - one handed, might I add; not to brag or anything - back to Chelsea's guard.

"Hey, Chelsea!" I called, laughing. "Get your ugly ass out of my way!" Then I hit the dial of the lighter, and then hit the hairspray. Flames rushed out, catching nearby SNVs, making them scream and screech in pain, and hitting all of her guard. I could only hope it got her as well.

I threw a quick glance to take stock of the fighting while I burned however many people I could while the hairspray lasted. I could find everyone but Edward, and they were holding their own. Most of the SNVs on our side were gone, unless they were the older more seasoned fighters. _Edward, Edward, Edward..._ I thought, scanning the masses for him. _Where, oh where has my husband gone...._

My breath froze in my chest as I spotted him. I felt nasaus and wanted nothing more than to sit down on my ass - or maybe simply fall on it - and stare in abject horror.

Because Edward was locked in battle not five yards from me with Caius.

The hairspray sputtered and went out, but I didn't tear my eyes away to see who I had killed and burned. I was too terrified that if I looked away, Edward would be finished. I half expected each moment I watched him to be the last.

Oh, I knew Edward could fight. That didn't bother me at all. It was more that... Caius was one of the Volturi. They had trained many of the guard members, including me, so I knew how well they could fight. Hell, _I_ was even dubious if I could defeat him. And I was Bella _fucking_ Volturi, best of the best of any of the guard. I had a reputation that exceeded incredible and hit outrageous. And if I questioned if I could defeat him, what the _hockey sticks_ was Edward doing fighting him?

I made to lunge into their fight, thinking two was way better than just one for this job, when something leapt on my back. I smelled burned hair and flesh, and crunched my nose in distaste. But I knew who was trying to kill me.

Apparently I hadn't managed to light Chelsea on fire enough.

"You bitch! What the hell was with that fire!" she snarled, yanking my hair. My neck dislocated, making me collapse and curse my stupidity. Love had done that, it had killed me in the end. Just as dawn was approaching for my night of sorrow, just as the end suddenly appeared magically out of no where, I go and do something _stupid_ and get myself killed. Brilliant. Genius, Bella.

And they called me the best. _Ha_.

I wanted to say something snappy back, and plenty of options flew through my head. Problem was, a dislocated neck meant no movements for a very long time.

She came into my line of sight, and the view was horrendous. Half of her face was gone, melted to the bone, and that was burned pure black. Her clothes were disintegrated in some places, and her skin too, in patches. She dripped water, making me think she'd run for the river a few miles away in order to put herself out.

Chelsea pulled a lighter out of her own pocket - bitch stole my idea of that; that was _so _my move - and grinned, bringing it close to my face. "Let's see how you like it."

I bit my lip, promising myself not to-

The heat bit greedily into my skin, eating away the flesh. I could literally feel it melting and burning, and I couldn't help it - I screamed. Long and loud and piercing. She grinned, pulled the lighter away, and hit the burning flames with something - I couldn't make out what. They went out, but the pain was still incredible. More than almost anything I'd ever felt before.

She grabbed my hand, the one with the small ring Edward had bought - just a substitute, until he could grab my real one from his house in Forks apparently - and examined it, raising a brow at me when she caught sight of the ring. "Wow. Married, huh? That's a stupid thing to do in our line of work." With that comment, she lit my hand on fire next, and held it up so I could help but stare at it. For some reason, watching it happen made it worse, and though I fought hard not to, I screamed again, my voice hitting pitches that immediately made it hoarse and my throat sore. She put out my hand eventually, just to light it up again. Then put it out. My abdomen. I screamed so much that I couldn't anymore, until I was sure I was dead or going to be so soon. I was unaware of what was happening in the fight around me. I had no clue if we were winning, losing, or if Edward were dead and I should just stop trying hard to hold on to my life, or if he were fighting to get to me and I should keep my stubbornness up.

I knew nothing but the fire.

It was something like when the venom had burned through my system. Not quite as bad - actually, the change was the only thing I could think of that was worse than this - but much the same. It attacked, and it pained, and it enjoyed all of every second of it.

_Chelsea's greusome image will be the last thing I see_, I thought dimly. _Fesso bitch._

I was fading, and I knew I wouldn't be able to hold on for much longer. Surely, if the fight were going our way, someone must have reached me by now. We must have lost, or will lose, and they'll all be killed. I knew I should have pushed them away, all that time ago in Forks. But _no_, I'd just had to be selfish and go after Edward.

Edward.

I saw him clearly then, in my mind's eye. His image clouded the one of a sadistly pleased Chelsea hovering over me, made a little of the pain fade to oblivion. His bronze hair, his gold eyes. Pale, chiseled features that Ghiberti, Donatello, and Cellini would have fought over the right to sculpt. And his crooked smile - the one that said everything to me, mocked me, his love for me, his affection, his loyalty, his amusement - it was always there, in his wonderful crooked smile.

Damn, if I could only see it once before I died, I'd go straight to the inner levels of hell mentioned in Dante's _Inferno_. I'd suffer time and time again just to see it, and to know he lived.

Chelsea lifted the lighter to my face again, then smirked and lowered it slowly to my chest.

Just above my heart.

"Die, bitch, die," she whispered, chant like.

The flames ate my skin eagerly.

I slipped into oblivion with a voiceless scream and died.

EPOV

I couldn't defeat him. Caius was just too strong for me, and I'd been stupid to attack him. But he'd been going for Bella. I'd do anything to keep her safe.

But apparently, even my intervention wasn't stopping the approach of her death. The rest of my family were fast working on the even more SNVs that had appeared; I was beginning to suspect that Chelsea had called more reinforcements to them by her little talent. Jasper was being incredibly sly, making them lethargic, and then even plain indifferent, hardly fighting to save their own lives.

Bella's screams had long since faded, but I could see her clearly, in complete utter pain. It reflected out of her dulling eyes, and tore at my heart to know she was in pain and dying.

And I was stuck fighting this nonsense instead of shoving that bitch away from her.

Caius tried to grab me again, but suddenly, he was swirling to stop an attack from Jasper. I threw a quick look around, noting that the SNVs were pretty much gone, unless they were on our side, and then they were standing around staring. I opened my mouth to yell at them to save Bella, when I was shoved forward.

"Jesus, Edward, pay attention!" Rosalie snapped at me, blocking a blow from Caius from where she stood in front of me.

The whole family had converged on him now, surrounded him. Emmett waited with predatory patience, then suddenly reached out and grabbed him around the neck from behind, lifting him off the ground easily, his expression cold.

We all stopped, and I caught Emmett's thought of action. And I totally approved.

He squeezed, tightening his fist until Caius's head literally popped off. It was a gruesome image, and I wanted to scrub it from my eyes, but I was more concerend with Bella....

"No!" I shouted at the same time that Alice screamed.

Chelsea had lit her chest on fire, right above her heart, and was watching her burn. Before I realized what was happening, June was there, tearing the deformed face of the rogue Volturi from her shoulders and tossing it casually aside before grabbing something... a scrap of metal, it seemed, and slamming it hard on Bella's chest.

Outraged, I started towards her, only to slow as I noticed the flames die down.

She hit her again, and I let out a relieved breath as they were put out. But Bella didn't move, didn't....

_Don't let her be dead_, I begged anyone and anything that was listening. _I'll go to hell and back for her, she can't die, she can't...._

But we'd both known it was a possiblity, which was why we'd married. Without thinking, I glanced at her left hand and felt my long-dormant gag reflex fluctuate with life. It was charred into a stump, dead.

I didn't realize my knees had given out next to her, until I felt Carlisle's hand on my shoulder. I looked up at him, feeling almost surreal. This just... no, it wasn't right. It couldn't be right. Something had to be a sick joke here, not real, untrue....

"I'm sorry Edward," Jasper said quietly.

I let out a vicious yell of rage, slamming my fists into the charred earth beside the body of my love.

**The End.**


	20. EPILOGUE

**Here's the epilogue. **

**Yes, you have to read it. It wraps things up perfectly, in my opinion.**

(3rd person POV)

Edward looked around the silent house one last time before sighing, closing the door behind him and stepping out into the brisk, windy, cloudy November air in Chicago. The smells of exhaust and fumes burned his nose, but he didn't care. He had somewhere he had to be.

The cemetery was one of the nicer ones, and since he'd started visiting, one of the least vandalized or visited ones. No one dared to do anything illegal or with an ill mind on the hallow ground Edward patrolled.

He shoved his hands deep into his pockets, staring blankly at the tombstone in front of him. He had never expected to revisit this place for any reason, because he'd learned long ago that the past was just that - the past - and it never did anyone any good to dwell on it. But he'd had to come back. It was something he would do - but only for her.

"Hey, Bella," he said quietly, still staring down at the tombstone.

"Hey," she replied softly as the breeze whistling through the leaves of the trees, her hand ghosting into his.

He sighed, closing his eyes and breathing in deeply the cool dusk air. The day was ending, people were sitting together in their living rooms, and night was starting to take over again. After the year and a half he'd been through, Edward could never think of it the same again.

The night was full of pain, and sorrow. It was a bitter thing, dark and black and mostly impossible to navigate unless you had a map. And if anyone did, they weren't speaking up. It didn't care if you were afraid of the dark, or if you were lost; it came just the same, and it lingered, occasionally scaring you, occasionally lulling you into a dull feeling of indifference.

But it was beautiful. The stars, bright pinpoints of light, fought against the dark, trying to prove there was truly beauty in everything. The moon, even when she was just a slim hangnail of a piece, reflected the light of the sun. Night was the counterpart of day, a reflection of it, if a dimmer one. So it wasn't bad. Just reality. If there was something bright in life, it had to be balanced by the dark of life. Nothing could stay happy forever.

He'd nearly killed himself so many times over the prior year. Simply because he hadn't understood what the night was trying to tell him. Instead, he'd misinterpreted it, and it had nearly cost him everything.

Life couldn't be all joy. You had to learn to deal with pain as well, and that was simply that. Trying to make the bad go away never helped things. You were stuck with it. Deal.

But the beauty of the night, that was all the more important after the sorrow of it. Yes, the day ended. Yes, it was dark. Yes, it wasn't always pleasant. But just one look at the stars, and you knew it was worth it. Just one taste of that crisp night air in your lungs, and you were addicted. The night was the most honest time of day, if you knew where and how to look.

My eyes shifted to the two graves next to the one in front of me - my mother's and my father's. I slowly folded myself on the ground and stared at my hands in my lap, thinking slowly through what I wanted to say.

"Mom, Dad," I murmured. "It's been a long time. I know I said last time I visited, that I wouldn't ever again. That things were best left as they were. Apparently I lied.

"But this news... well, I had to talk to you about it. It's important.

"See, almost two years ago, I met this girl. Beautiful, smart, and she's like me, a vampire. But there was the issue that she was the assasin, the best one, for the Volturi, our governing body I suppose you could call it. And her mission - or so she thought - was to scope my family and I out and then kill one or all of us. But... we still fell in love.

"I think you'd love her, Mom. She has such a beautiful soul, no matter what she did in life. She's funny. And smart. She's loyal to a fault, especially to the ones she loves. She risked her life to save mine and my family's time and time again. She endured her own pain until she could fix ours. I could spend all night going over every little thing about her - like how she'd bite her lip when she was thinking about how to keep something in the middle of a lie and a truth - but then I wouldn't get to the real reason I'm here.

"Thankfully, she ended up not having to kill us. But someone was after her, and people she trusted betrayed her. I tried to save her from it, but in the end, she had to go back to that horrid life she was stuck in to save _me_. And I slowly died over that time for it, though because of various circumstances, I didn't know at the time _why_. But she came back, and made everything right again.

"But making it completely right meant fighting people she worked with, dangerous people, and...." His voice caught for a moment, and he paused, trying to think of how to continue past that painful memory.

"I married her before the big fight went down. It wasn't a good wedding, not like how you'd think of one. We had a priest marry us in some town that I forget the name of, we said vows, and on paper, we were married. But it wasn't a wedding.

"She was... burned. Horrifically burned. If I could have, I would have cried. As it was, I...." Edward swallowed. "I didn't react well."

Small hands started rubbing his shoulders lightly, smoothing and relaxing the tense muscles. Her brown hair waved forward as she kissed his temple. Removing her hands, Bella slipped to sit in his lap, grabbing his arms and wrapping them around her waist.

"I barely survived." she said quietly. "We were just lucky Carlisle is a doctor, and knew how to best proceed to save me. It was... almost like being turned again." She paused, tilting her head thoughtfully. "I wonder if that makes me doubly dead?"

Edward scowled slightly, not liking the way her eyes dimmed and flickered with pain. Tightening his arms around her, he continued from where she left off. "We had to feed her body venom. All of us. There was so much damage to her body, so much.... We hunted down humans and brought them to her, because she needed the strength of human blood to live. Animal blood wouldn't have cut it. It had to be human."

Bella's head hung down, and Edward wished she'd stop beating herself up over the lives sacrificed to save hers. Still being sacrificed. She continued to kill humans - lowlifes he pointed out for her - because her body was still so weak from the attack, and might always be. He'd kill three times as many humans as they had needed it, if it meant her living.

"She spent days unable to move, barely even managing to hold on to her life. I refused to leave her side, kept up a monologue to let her know I was there."

"I thought it was torture, one of my punishments for being such a terrible person in life. It was a pleasurable torture for me, though. I've always loved the sound of his voice."

Smiling gently at her, Edward picked up the storytelling again. "It took her over a month to get well enough that we allowed mirrors in the house again, another week or two before she could move a little, and just a month ago, she healed close enough to completely that I took her away. She was tired of being cooped up, tired of the looks on my family's faces. Besides, she had been planning on seeing the world once she gained her freedom."

"But I insisted this first, though. We're married, even if it's not... conventionally. And I wanted to meet you, his parents. It is important to me." Bella whispered. She swallowed, stifling the wince at her sore throat. She'd servery damaged her lungs and throat passage with her screaming, and Chelsea had burned them at one point, as well. They were one of the last things recovering still; Carlisle warned that some things may never recover fully. It was a miracle she had recovered as much as she had, and many of the Cullens worried Bella would try to do something that now was basically outside her range of abilities. It frustrated her, being so limited and so dependent on Edward and the rest, but she worked hard to accept it. She had no choice but to.

Edward shifted an arm until he could rub her arm soothingly. "So I brought her here. Alice is already planning the wedding, according to the _very_ strict guidelines Bella has provided her," he chuckled.

Bella smiled slightly. "I want small and simple. Nothing fancy or flashy or big."

"While that's happening, we're traveling a little. We plan on getting married - or renewing our vows, I suppose it would be - in about five months. It gives us time to travel; I know all the good places for her to see," he added smugly.

Lightly, Bella smacked his arm, a small smile gracing her lips. "Whatever, Mr. Cullen."

Smiling, Edward leaned down and forward to reach Bella's lips. She lifted them obligingly to help, and they kissed gently for a few moments before separating.

Standing, Edward took Bella's hand gently in his, very aware of the fragile skin still developing over the almost fully-developed hand. Until it was completely better, Bella wore the rings from him on a delicate silver chain around her neck. Often, her hand would slip up to gently clutch at them, reassure herself they were still there, tangible and proving she was alive.

"I just wanted you both to know I'm happy, and in love. You raised me well, and I hope you are both up there not worrying about me." He looked over at Bella. "I'm just fine down here."

She smiled at him, leaning against his side. Removing his hand from hers, Edward wrapped an arm around her waist and led her out of the Chicago cemetery, away from the graves of his past - of his mother, his father. And his human self.

The moon shone down brightly, the stars twinkled, and the shadows reared tall and high and frightening. The sorrow of night was ever present. It was the sorrow of the end, of the beginning you weren't sure you were ready for, and for all the things that led you to the moment you were at. The night wasn't perfect, but neither was it the opposite. It simply was, sorrow for everything and nothing, the one to honestly point out both good and bad alike.

Edward and Bella walked into the night out of the cemetery, and slipped into the black Arrow waiting for them. Bella pouted that she couldn't drive yet, but Edward leaned over and slowly and thoroughly kissed her. Sighing, she relented into the kiss, enjoying each nuance of it. When they pulled away, he grinned at her.

"So, where do you want to go, Mrs. Cullen?"

Slowly, Bella grinned. "Surprise me, Mr. Cullen."

_**Bows**_** Thank you for reading, it has been a pleasure writing for you!**


End file.
